Guys punching above their weight

stui magpie · Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 7:27 pm

Geez, if ever there was a topic crying out for a thread split, it's this.

I'm single and choose to remain that way and I'm quite happy about it. Too many people IMO (particularly young people) seem to have a need to be in a relationship, as if being single is somehow a failure.

For a bloke at least I think finding a partner to be sexually attractive is compulsory to having a sex life. I'm not sure how it could be managed otherwise, but what people find sexually attractive varies quite a bit and doesn't just conform to the society stereotypes that are driven by advertising and marketing more than anything else. (Elle MacPherson still works for me)

Dangles · Balmey Army Joined: 14 May 2015

Mugwump · Joined: 28 Jul 2007 Location: Between London and Melbourne

I think David's nailed it really well. Looks and character are not really correlated, and given a choice between someone who is (i) ultra-hot ; vs (ii) attractive enough, but also calm, constant, pragmatic and kind, only a fool chooses the first. There are lot of fools out there, of course.

Tannin · Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:40 pm

Thread split please Mr David.

watt price tully · Joined: 15 May 2007

think positive · Side By Side Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Location: somewhere

watt price tully · Joined: 15 May 2007

pietillidie · Joined: 07 Jan 2005

think positive · Side By Side Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Location: somewhere

Wokko · Come and take it. Joined: 04 Oct 2005

No I've never had a problem with attracting the opposite sex, my observations come from being able to empathically relate to other people in the world beyond my own arrogant viewpoint. I've also associated with many men who are 'unattractive' because their hobbies are 'uncool', they don't dress well enough etc and they spend their 20s alone and miserable, wondering what they're doing wrong... until they're set up in their 30s (lots more money to be had if you don't date) and then they're desirable for their stability and financial success. Well done on devolving another discussion into passive aggressive insults again though, top marks for consistency.

pietillidie · Joined: 07 Jan 2005

^Do you know what passive aggressive even means? There was nothing either passive or aggressive about my querying of your bitter stance on most things to do with women, nor of my different interpretation of people's prospects.

And your "empathy" extended only so far as throwing people under a bus with a dated 19th-century Darwinianism!

But your explanation in the above post was much more thoughtful.

swoop42 · Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 1:25 pm

Every pot has it's lid.

Dave The Man · Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 4:18 pm

pietillidie · Joined: 07 Jan 2005

David · I dare you to try Joined: 27 Jul 2003 Location: Andromeda

I really do understand and sympathise with the frustration that some single men feel. It's not nice to feel invisible; I certainly know that from experience. And there aren't always easy answers, either. But I think it's important not to let that frustration turn into resentment or misogyny.

Dave, some women and men are completely shallow, but most aren't. Most people are just like you and me; they want to love and be loved. It can just be hard to get on people's radar if you're not socially gifted or if you're unconventional in other ways, but don't feel like it's an impossibility. The more you find places where you're comfortable and you feel like you fit in, the more chance you have of finding someone you connect with. It's hard and there's a lot of luck involved, but the more generous and open-minded your disposition, the easier it will be.