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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005 Location: In flagrante delicto
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Geez, if ever there was a topic crying out for a thread split, it's this.
I'm single and choose to remain that way and I'm quite happy about it. Too many people IMO (particularly young people) seem to have a need to be in a relationship, as if being single is somehow a failure.
For a bloke at least I think finding a partner to be sexually attractive is compulsory to having a sex life. I'm not sure how it could be managed otherwise, but what people find sexually attractive varies quite a bit and doesn't just conform to the society stereotypes that are driven by advertising and marketing more than anything else. (Elle MacPherson still works for me) _________________ Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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Dangles
Balmey Army
Joined: 14 May 2015
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David wrote: | Nothing at all! I guess it depends how you define attraction is it the 2% of people in the world that you find extraordinarily beautiful, or is it someone who you find somewhat attractive? Surely the latter leaves you with plenty of options, I would have thought. |
The latter. I'm not delusional. |
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Mugwump
Joined: 28 Jul 2007 Location: Between London and Melbourne
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I think David's nailed it really well. Looks and character are not really correlated, and given a choice between someone who is (i) ultra-hot ; vs (ii) attractive enough, but also calm, constant, pragmatic and kind, only a fool chooses the first. There are lot of fools out there, of course. _________________ Two more flags before I die! |
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Tannin
Can't remember
Joined: 06 Aug 2006 Location: Huon Valley Tasmania
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Thread split please Mr David. _________________ �Let's eat Grandma.� Commas save lives! |
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watt price tully
Joined: 15 May 2007
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think positive wrote: | Gees this is depressing!
Is the female species really that shallow?
I dated a drop dead gorgeous guy for a while, (I mean smoking hot, drop dead gorgeous movie star looks and body, and a voice of pure silk, and a really magnetic personality too) but I knew he was out of my league so I didn't let myself get attached. ...... |
I don't recall going out with you _________________ âI even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didnât keep âem under long enoughâ Kinky Friedman |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Location: somewhere
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watt price tully wrote: | think positive wrote: | Gees this is depressing!
Is the female species really that shallow?
I dated a drop dead gorgeous guy for a while, (I mean smoking hot, drop dead gorgeous movie star looks and body, and a voice of pure silk, and a really magnetic personality too) but I knew he was out of my league so I didn't let myself get attached. ...... |
I don't recall going out with you |
I don't recall your funeral _________________ You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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watt price tully
Joined: 15 May 2007
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think positive wrote: | watt price tully wrote: | think positive wrote: | Gees this is depressing!
Is the female species really that shallow?
I dated a drop dead gorgeous guy for a while, (I mean smoking hot, drop dead gorgeous movie star looks and body, and a voice of pure silk, and a really magnetic personality too) but I knew he was out of my league so I didn't let myself get attached. ...... |
I don't recall going out with you |
I don't recall your funeral |
I thought a shotgun wedding meant something else _________________ âI even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didnât keep âem under long enoughâ Kinky Friedman |
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pietillidie
Joined: 07 Jan 2005
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Wokko wrote: | David wrote: | Dangles wrote: | Must've been "Guys Punching Above Their Weight Day" today. I walked into Broady shopping centre this arvo and in the space of about two minutes I saw three couples where the female was considerably more more attractive than her male partner. |
I'd like to think that physical appearance only plays a small role in the development of long-term relationships. You have to be at least somewhat attracted to someone, of course, but that's a low bar - for me, that could be, you know, 40-60% of women in my age range. What's much rarer is emotional connection, and that's not something you get to pick and choose. If it happens, you'd be a total fool to pass on account of the other person not looking like a Greek god/goddess.
Just quietly, I think that's something that women tend to understand a little better than men. Hence why "guys punching above their weight" is not such an unusual phenomenon (although it is possible that they have chosen them for other superficial reasons, like wealth or social status - or else, you know, attraction is just subjective... ). |
Well women find 80% of men to be of 'below average' physical attractiveness, highlighting the 80/20 rule of sex and dating (20% of men having 80% of the sex).
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
Women want emotional connection, confidence and sense of humour, but only in a man they deem 'worthy' of their attention. These so called 'unattractive' men punching above their weight, are either wealthy, have some kind of social status or the women have 'settled' after having their share of the top dogs and not pinning one down.
There's a reason for a lot of the bitterness among the lower echelon of male attractiveness, they simply have no chance and are far more marginalized in the dating game than even the least attractive women. They end up being 'settled for' by women with ticking biological clocks and are the kind of men the old cliche of horrible married life comes from. What could be worse than being madly in love with someone who resents you for being 'less' than the men they dated for 15 years.
Physical appearance is only 'unimportant' if you're not constrained by it. Ask former unattractive men how things change for them when they make themselves more physically attractive (working out, fashion etc). I truly feel for my ugly brothers, not just their inability to find a partner (who many would be more than happy to be loving and monogomous with), but for the complete lack of care or sympathy towards them from society, hell even the open ridicule they face.
*quick edit*
I also would add that short men would be the most sexually discriminated against people in that 'unattractive' group, and unlike someone fat or unfit or terribly uncool, or poor, there is NOTHING they can do bout it. |
Were you left at the altar or something? No doubt people have their reasons, and I can fully appreciate that, but you regularly sound like women invaded your home town and sold you off into the male slave trade.
"Unattractive", male or female, tends to mean "miserable, boring-as-hell weirdo". It's actually hard for vibrant, interesting people to be unattractive unless they're seriously malfigured or socially inappropriate. Or, unless the medium is ridiculous, like a photo on a dating site! _________________ In the end the rain comes down, washes clean the streets of a blue sky town.
Help Nick's: http://www.magpies.net/nick/bb/fundraising.htm |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Location: somewhere
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pietillidie wrote: | Wokko wrote: | David wrote: | Dangles wrote: | Must've been "Guys Punching Above Their Weight Day" today. I walked into Broady shopping centre this arvo and in the space of about two minutes I saw three couples where the female was considerably more more attractive than her male partner. |
I'd like to think that physical appearance only plays a small role in the development of long-term relationships. You have to be at least somewhat attracted to someone, of course, but that's a low bar - for me, that could be, you know, 40-60% of women in my age range. What's much rarer is emotional connection, and that's not something you get to pick and choose. If it happens, you'd be a total fool to pass on account of the other person not looking like a Greek god/goddess.
Just quietly, I think that's something that women tend to understand a little better than men. Hence why "guys punching above their weight" is not such an unusual phenomenon (although it is possible that they have chosen them for other superficial reasons, like wealth or social status - or else, you know, attraction is just subjective... ). |
Well women find 80% of men to be of 'below average' physical attractiveness, highlighting the 80/20 rule of sex and dating (20% of men having 80% of the sex).
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
Women want emotional connection, confidence and sense of humour, but only in a man they deem 'worthy' of their attention. These so called 'unattractive' men punching above their weight, are either wealthy, have some kind of social status or the women have 'settled' after having their share of the top dogs and not pinning one down.
There's a reason for a lot of the bitterness among the lower echelon of male attractiveness, they simply have no chance and are far more marginalized in the dating game than even the least attractive women. They end up being 'settled for' by women with ticking biological clocks and are the kind of men the old cliche of horrible married life comes from. What could be worse than being madly in love with someone who resents you for being 'less' than the men they dated for 15 years.
Physical appearance is only 'unimportant' if you're not constrained by it. Ask former unattractive men how things change for them when they make themselves more physically attractive (working out, fashion etc). I truly feel for my ugly brothers, not just their inability to find a partner (who many would be more than happy to be loving and monogomous with), but for the complete lack of care or sympathy towards them from society, hell even the open ridicule they face.
*quick edit*
I also would add that short men would be the most sexually discriminated against people in that 'unattractive' group, and unlike someone fat or unfit or terribly uncool, or poor, there is NOTHING they can do bout it. |
Were you left at the altar or something? No doubt people have their reasons, and I can fully appreciate that, but you regularly sound like women invaded your home town and sold you off into the male slave trade.
"Unattractive", male or female, tends to mean "miserable, boring-as-hell weirdo". It's actually hard for vibrant, interesting people to be unattractive unless they're seriously malfigured or socially inappropriate. Or, unless the medium is ridiculous, like a photo on a dating site! |
Holy batman, that post makes sense! No google required, maybe there is a g....
Nah! Great post! Very humorous! _________________ You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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Wokko
Come and take it.
Joined: 04 Oct 2005
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No I've never had a problem with attracting the opposite sex, my observations come from being able to empathically relate to other people in the world beyond my own arrogant viewpoint. I've also associated with many men who are 'unattractive' because their hobbies are 'uncool', they don't dress well enough etc and they spend their 20s alone and miserable, wondering what they're doing wrong... until they're set up in their 30s (lots more money to be had if you don't date) and then they're desirable for their stability and financial success. Well done on devolving another discussion into passive aggressive insults again though, top marks for consistency. |
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pietillidie
Joined: 07 Jan 2005
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^Do you know what passive aggressive even means? There was nothing either passive or aggressive about my querying of your bitter stance on most things to do with women, nor of my different interpretation of people's prospects.
And your "empathy" extended only so far as throwing people under a bus with a dated 19th-century Darwinianism!
But your explanation in the above post was much more thoughtful. _________________ In the end the rain comes down, washes clean the streets of a blue sky town.
Help Nick's: http://www.magpies.net/nick/bb/fundraising.htm |
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swoop42
Whatcha gonna do when he comes for you?
Joined: 02 Aug 2008 Location: The 18
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Every pot has it's lid. _________________ He's mad. He's bad. He's MaynHARD! |
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Dave The Man
Joined: 01 Apr 2005 Location: Someville, Victoria, Australia
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swoop42 wrote: | Big wallet is generally the reason. |
100% Agree.
IF you are Filthy Rich. Women will be throwing themselves all over you _________________ I am Da Man |
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pietillidie
Joined: 07 Jan 2005
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Dave The Man wrote: | swoop42 wrote: | Big wallet is generally the reason. |
100% Agree.
IF you are Filthy Rich. Women will be throwing themselves all over you |
Try not to get too dark, Dave. Just keep out and about and having a good time. _________________ In the end the rain comes down, washes clean the streets of a blue sky town.
Help Nick's: http://www.magpies.net/nick/bb/fundraising.htm |
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David
to wish impossible things
Joined: 27 Jul 2003 Location: the edge of the deep green sea
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I really do understand and sympathise with the frustration that some single men feel. It's not nice to feel invisible; I certainly know that from experience. And there aren't always easy answers, either. But I think it's important not to let that frustration turn into resentment or misogyny.
Dave, some women and men are completely shallow, but most aren't. Most people are just like you and me; they want to love and be loved. It can just be hard to get on people's radar if you're not socially gifted or if you're unconventional in other ways, but don't feel like it's an impossibility. The more you find places where you're comfortable and you feel like you fit in, the more chance you have of finding someone you connect with. It's hard and there's a lot of luck involved, but the more generous and open-minded your disposition, the easier it will be. _________________ "Every time we witness an injustice and do not act, we train our character to be passive in its presence." â Julian Assange |
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