Classified AFL Document - Exclusive!

[Sly]

While this topic isn't new, I thought this document - send to RANT! - might help fill-in a few of the gaps.

Confidential.

August 25th, 2001.

From Andrew Demetriou.

To Wayne Jackson.
c/o AFL House

re: Draft Restructure/Interstate Consolidation.

Dear Wayne,


I thoroughly agree with your comments re the consolidation of Interstate competitors in the AFL. Too often these immigrant primadonnas flare-up like skyrockets, illuminate the Competition, and then fade into obscurity.

Witness the rapid demise of the West Coast Eagles and Adelaide Crows, as well the fall of the Sydney Swans and the seesawing of the Brisbane Lions.

The latter-two are the greatest concerns as they originate from States where Australian Rules Football is totally alien, much alike the inhabitants of those two relevant States. As an aside and to this end I must point an accusing and derogatory finger at the British. Had they displayed greater sagacity in the colonization of this mighty continent, New Holland, we may not be facing this crisis today.

So I suggest the following Lifeline Picks, to take place before the Priority Picks. I feel the name will impel a certain warranted demand to the idiot-public and subliminally communicate to them the necessity behind this action. Henceforth, I see the order of the Lifeline Picks:

1: Brisbane Lions.
2: Sydney Swans.
3: Brisbane Lions.
4: Sydney Swans.
5: Sydney Swans.
6: Sydney Swans.
7: Brisbane Lions.
8: Brisbane Lions.
9: Sydney Swans.
10: Brisbane Lions.
11: Fremantle.
12: West Coast Eagles.
13: Sydney Swans.
14: Brisbane Lions.
15: Fremantle.
16: West Coast Eagles.
17: Adelaide Crows.
18: Brisbane Lions.
19: Sydney Swans.
20: Sydney Swans.
21: Fremantle.
22: West Coast Eagles.
23: Brisbane Lions.
24: Adelaide Crows.
25: Port Adelaide Power.
26: Sydney Swans.
27: Brisbane Lions.
28: Fremantle.
29: Fremantle.
30: West Coast Eagles.
31: Adelaide Crows.
32: Brisbane Lions.
33: Brisbane Lions.
34: Sydney Swans.
35: Sydney Swans.
36: West Coast Eagles.
37: West Coast Eagles.
38: Fremantle.
39: Adelaide Crows.
40: Port Adelaide Power.
41: Adelaide Crows.
42: Port Adelaide Power.
43: Brisbane Lions.
44: Sydney Swans.
45: Fremantle.
46: West Coast Eagles.
47: Adelaide Crows.
48: Port Adelaide.
49: Port Adelaide.
50: Priority Pick #1.

I feel the Victorian Club Presidents and the public will find this system and order totally palatable. It smacks of both verve and yet subtlety, and I feel it will pass with little or no opposition at all.

But should there be any argument, I suggest we maneuver Richmond President Clinton Casey to verbalize the first strike. I feel this is imperative. By nature of leading the charge, Clinton Casey will rob any criticism of credibility and/or coherence and leave Messrs McGuire, Elliott, McMahon and Company without a leg to stand on.

To be certain of this I have issued a Memorandum to each member of the Commission, requesting them to be in the center of the playing-field of Colonial Stadium at midnight, September 26th, so that we may sacrifice a goat and consecrate this deal in blood, as well securing it with the Prince of Darkness, Lord of Hell, Jeff Kennett.

However, I do not foresee any problems.

Best Regards,

A. Demetriou.

P.S. If you have trouble finding the rendezvous, please understand the following instructions: from the Medallion Club, descend the stairwell amongst the seating to the area under construction. The area is yet to be completed and you will find it unsightly and the footing treacherous - this is the Center-square.

A.S.


S.
The Last Remaining Bad Guy.
The Incandescent One.
The Collingwood Rant.
The AFL Ranting Board.

[MarkT]

Just as long there is no cloak and dagger stuff and all is above board as usual.
Ahhh the transpancy....

or was that serenity
- no it wasn't.

BTW, you left out the bit where we fund the party to tell the world about the new arrangements. I think that was in the PS bit....