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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005 Location: In flagrante delicto
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Post subject: 25 reasons I owe my mother | |
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. _________________ Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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EBB
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
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25 reasons not to reply.
1) I'm not that bored. _________________ understanding stuff, with endeavour to overstand.. |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005 Location: In flagrante delicto
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Post subject: | |
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Thanks EBB. I got it sent via email, thought it was humerous and posted it to share. It's been getting a little heavy in here, thought a touch of humour wouldn't hurt. _________________ Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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EBB
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
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Yeah no worries Stui. I'm sorry if I upset your attempt at light humour.
#have you ever seen a c##t wrapped in plastic? _________________ understanding stuff, with endeavour to overstand.. |
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Didaicos
The Macedonian Marvel = The Croat Confoundment!!!
Joined: 06 Jun 2006
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I thought it was funny stu! _________________ WELLLINGHAM ROVES IT....AND KICKS THE GOAL!!!!
SWAN'S GOING TO KICK A GOAL. THEY'RE HOME YOU'D THINK I KNOW IT'S A LONG WAY TO GO BUT THEY'RE KILLING THEM NOW!! |
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Proud Pies
Joined: 22 Feb 2003 Location: Knox-ish
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i thought it was funny, but in most of those, i think i'd have to replace Mother with Father..... _________________ Jacqui © Proud Pies 2003 and beyond |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005 Location: In flagrante delicto
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Post subject: | |
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EBB wrote: | Yeah no worries Stui. I'm sorry if I upset your attempt at light humour.
#have you ever seen a c##t wrapped in plastic? |
No, I've never seen a cart wrapped in plastic, unless you mean the new "smart" cars. _________________ Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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EBB
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
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Post subject: | |
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Ok, I'm gonna leave it alone^. Let's move along shall we.
#why did the chicken cross the road? _________________ understanding stuff, with endeavour to overstand.. |
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John Wren
"Look after the game. It means so much to so many."
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
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i enjoyed your moment of self gratification. clean too. _________________ Purveyor of sanctimonious twaddle. |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005 Location: In flagrante delicto
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Post subject: | |
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EBB wrote: | Ok, I'm gonna leave it alone^. Let's move along shall we.
#why did the chicken cross the road? |
It was being chased by an amorous Emu?
Frank wanted to be it's friend and it preferred to run under a truck? _________________ Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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John Wren
"Look after the game. It means so much to so many."
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
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[quote="stui magpie"] EBB wrote: | Ok, I'm gonna leave it alone^. Let's move along shall we.
#why did the chicken cross the road? |
one of the great philosophical questions of our time. did the chicken cross of its own volition or was something more sinister at play? _________________ Purveyor of sanctimonious twaddle. |
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EBB
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
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stui magpie wrote: | EBB wrote: | Ok, I'm gonna leave it alone^. Let's move along shall we.
#why did the chicken cross the road? |
It was being chased by an amorous Emu?
Frank wanted to be it's friend and it preferred to run under a truck? |
Lol!!!!! Can you guess which one I'm pissing my pants with? No really! |
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EBB
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
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stui magpie wrote: | EBB wrote: | Ok, I'm gonna leave it alone^. Let's move along shall we.
#why did the chicken cross the road? |
It was being chased by an amorous Emu?
Frank wanted to be it's friend and it preferred to run under a truck? |
Lol!!!!! Can you guess which one I'm pissing my pants with? No really!
x twice the fun. |
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David
I dare you to try
Joined: 27 Jul 2003 Location: Andromeda
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Thanks Stui, that was good.
The sad thing is I remember at least half those quotes from my own childhood
What's wrong with EBB? Has he gone off the deep end? _________________ All watched over by machines of loving grace |
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