more richmond jokes

[junkboy75]

A Richmond fan walked into a bar with a pig tied to a piece of string.
"Where the hell did you pick that dirty thing up?" asked the publican.
"Won it in a raffle." said the pig.

A Richmond fan accused of assaulting an old lady was standing in an identity parade at the police station. When the old lady walks out, the Richmond fan jumps forward shouting: "Yes that’s her!"

If a Richmond fan and a Carlton fan were drowning, and you could only save one of them,
would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?

There's a Richmond fan, a Collingwood fan and a Bulldogs fan that all just broke out of jail. They went to hide out in an old animal warehouse. The Collingwood fan and the Bulldogs fan each hid in a box and the Richmond fan hid in a bag. The Police walked in and knocked on the Collingwood box and the Collingwood fan replied MOO!
The police said..Oh, it's just a cow.
After knocking on the Bulldog’s box the Bulldogs fan replied OINK, OINK!
The police said...Oh; it's just a pig.
The police shook the bag and the Richmond fan said POTATOES!

One day, a man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared.
"For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie. The man was ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the Genie continued.
"What catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously.
The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every Richmond supporter in the world will receive double what you asked for."
"Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.
"What is your first wish?" asked the Genie.
"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!"
Poof! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
"Now, every Richmond supporter in the world has been given two Ferraris," said the Genie. "What is your next wish?"
"I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and Poof! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now, every Richmond supporter in the world is two million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man.
"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the man. "And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie.
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

Jim, the Richmond fan, is tired of being called stupid whenever he wears his Richmond shirt and he decides to leave it at home when he goes out. On his travels through the countryside he happens upon a farmer with his flock of sheep.
Jim stops and says to the farmer, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, will you let me have one?"
The farmer says, "Sure".
Jim says, "112."
The farmer says, "That's incredible. You're exactly right."
As Jim is walking off with his prize, the farmer shouts back;
"Hey...if I can guess what football team you support, can I have my dog back?"

Spud Frawley gets caught speeding on the South Eastern. The copper walks up to his car and Spud winds down his window.
"Did you know you were speeding, sir? You'll need to get out of your car so that I can breathalyze you", said the copper.
Spud opens his wallet and presents the copper with a card which reads:
DANNY FRAWLEY, REGISTERED ASTHMATIC - DO NOT BREATHALYZE
"Sorry officer, I can't", he says. "Hmm", says the copper. "Ok ... we'll need to take you to the police station for a blood test then".
Spud looks worried for a second, but then pulls out a second card:
DANNY FRAWLEY, REGISTERED HAEMOPHILLIAC - DO NOT TEST BLOOD
"Hmmm", says the copper again. "Ok then, we'll still need to take you to the police station, but it'll be for a urine test instead".
Spud hands him another card.
DANNY FRAWLEY, COACH OF RICHMOND - DO NOT TAKE THE PISS.

This Richmond fan got home and found his wife in bed with another man. He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it to his own head.
"NO! Don’t do that," his wife begged.
"Shut up woman! You’ll be next," he shouted.

A man walks into a bar and pounds his fist on the bar.
"All Richmond fans are a***holes!" he shouts.
Another man in the back of the bar jumps up.
"I resent that!"
"Are you a Richmond fan?" the first man asks.
"No... I'm an a***hole."

A Richmond woman wakes up one morning and hears the dustbin men doing their rounds. She quickly jumps out of bed, scrambling over the numerous men she brought home with her the night before. Running into the street she shouts to one of the dustbin men,
"Am I too late for the rubbish",
"No" he replies, "Jump in pet".

Two Richmond fans are walking along. One of them picks up a mirror, looks in it, and says
"Hey, I know that bloke"
The second one picks it up and says
"Of course you do, you idiot - its me!"

A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is a total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.
He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?"
"Well," the friend replies, "I ran over Matthew Knights".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"
"Well, he tried to escape through the park."

Two Richmond fans at work are having their dinner. One says to the other,
"Your sandwiches smell a bit unusual can I try one?".
The other one gives him a sandwich and he takes a big bite out of it.
"Jesus Christ, that's bloody disgusting", he says as he spits it straight back out.
"What in god's name have you got on there?"
"Crab Paste", replies his mate.
"Where the hell did you get it from?"
"The chemist".

A Richmond fan asked the barbers for a haircut. "Certainly, Sir, but you will have to take the Walkman off first."
"Can't do that", he replied.
"But I can't do it with you wearing it", said the barber.
"Please, do the best you can, `cos it is really important that I keep it on" pleaded the Richmonf supporter.
The barber did as he was asked, and as he finished the youth got up out of the chair, catching the headphone lead as he did so. They were pulled from his head, and he fell stone dead on the floor. The barber could do nothing to help, and feeling that the walkman had something to do with the youth's demise, he picked the headphones up, but all he heard was
"BREATH IN....BREATH OUT...BREATH IN....BREATH OUT..."

A bear from Collingwood and a rabbit from Richmond are side by side taking a dump.
The bear asks the rabbit, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
"No, not at all" replied the rabbit.
When he finished his dump the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his arse with it

"..we flew at them as a hawk to his prey, passed through them in the disordered state in which they were, separated them into two distinct parts and then tacked upon their largest division.." -- Captain Cuthbert Collingwood, 1797

[This message has been edited by junkboy75 (edited 06 May 2002).]

[MagpieMad]

LMAO junkboy LMAO

[magpie joffa]

HAHAHAHAHHA IVE JUST PISSED ME SELF HAHHAHHA FUNNY SHIT!!!!

1892 _ 2002... THE PROUDEST JOURNEY IN FOOTBALL CONTINUES, WITH ARMS LOCKED TOGETHER,WHILST MARCHING SIDE BY SIDE, WE WILL FOREVER STAND AS ONE TO SUPPORT OUR BELOVED COLLINGWOOD FOOTBALL CLUB, it's more than just a club it's a way of life !

[Joel]

If a Richmond fan and a Carlton fan were drowning, and you could only save one of them,
would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?

Well I would have to say that I would save the Richmond supporter. My girlfriend barracks for Richmond.

I made a bet with her at the start of the year that Collingwood would finish higher than Richmond, she gladly accepted after the form they showed in the Wizard Cup and last year. Let's hope the Pies keep it up.

JDF

[paulie]

what was the bet Joel hope its something like the one I've got going with Filth Girl.

[Joel]

ha? nah, nah...she is ace. Though we do give each other a bit about the footy. But it's all good.

JDF

[junkboy75]

I get the feeling that paulie means something else, joel...but I won't get into that

nah, I've got nothing personal against richmond supporters. they're misguided souls and it's up to all of us as magpie missioneries to convert them to ensure their passage to black and white heaven.

geez, they were an arrogant lot last year though, weren't they? you wouldn't hear the end of it...top 4 finish, etc!! now look at the bastards. they'd be lucky to avoid the bottom 4

god I hate richmond. I'm thinking of doing a website dedicated to hating richmond, it will be called http://www.richmond-are-shite.com.au, but alas I don't have the skills or time. if anyone does, I'd be more than happy to contribute!!

"..we flew at them as a hawk to his prey, passed through them in the disordered state in which they were, separated them into two distinct parts and then tacked upon their largest division.." -- Captain Cuthbert Collingwood, 1797

[Dale61]

Here's another lot of Richmond jokes to add to your list.

1. Player List.
2. Coaches.
3. Richmond Supporters.

"Racetracks are for racing, roads are for getting there."

[paulie]

Junkboy75 Whatever do you mean???????