View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005 Location: In flagrante delicto
|
Post subject: For those watching the Prelim at home....... | |
|
Some tips for how to replicate the atmosphere at the G.
Firstly, you need to have someone else there to help out. There's specific tasks they need to do.
During the pre game, they need to play shit music and loud irrelevant speaking bits so you can't hear the TV.
You need to make sure the heater is turned off and the ceiling fan turned on, so it's cold and breezy.
If you plan to have hot food during the game, you need to make sure it's the most over priced rubbish you can get and that as soon as you want to go and get some, your +1 ensures they stand in front of you and frig around for 10 minutes making you wait.
Same protocol applies when you want a beer
If you want a smoke, you need to wait til breaks then leave the house, walk 3/4 the way around the block, inhale it quickly then head back. Your +1 must stop you at the front door for a body search before you're allowed back in, and then run to the bar/food to block you for the afore mentioned 10 minutes
During the game your +1 must cheer and yell abuse, usually at incorrect moments, ask you incessant questions about what just happened, how long is left etc and frequently get up and walk in front of you, blocking your view and making you move your legs or stand up.
If you want to take a piss, the toilets all need to be time locked so you have to wait 10 minutes after first trying the door to get in
Finally, after the game you need to walk around the block, then stand in the shower (not turned on) with a large block of blue cheese and your +1 constantly jostling you, for 30 minutes, then walk around the block again before you can turn the heater on and watch the replay.
Did I miss anything? _________________ Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
Pies2016
Joined: 12 Sep 2014
|
Post subject: | |
|
😂😂😂😂👍🏼
And watch it on a small screen TV |
|
|
|
|
Tannin
Can't remember
Joined: 06 Aug 2006 Location: Huon Valley Tasmania
|
Post subject: | |
|
One of the great posts.
Only thing you missed was desperately trying to log on and hand over a lot of money to make sure you got the cold food, flat beer, stinky dunnies, blocked view, and etc. _________________ �Let's eat Grandma.� Commas save lives! |
|
|
|
|
Cam
Nick's BB Member #166
Joined: 10 May 2002 Location: Springvale
|
Post subject: | |
|
Hope you don't leave home at 3/4 time to get the train... _________________ Get back on top. |
|
|
|
|
duggieboy
Joined: 12 Jan 2005
|
Post subject: | |
|
That was classic - just couldn't stop grinning |
|
|
|
|
ronrat
Joined: 22 May 2006 Location: Thailand
|
Post subject: | |
|
Have your next door neighbour anonymously dob you in for barracking. _________________ Annoying opposition supporters since 1967. |
|
|
|
|
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Location: somewhere
|
Post subject: | |
|
Cam wrote: |
Hope you don't leave home at 3/4 time to get the train... |
Hahahaha
Hey he will still be there at midnight cheering! Think bloody positive!
Great thread Stui! _________________ You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
|
|
|
|
didick
didick
Joined: 17 Jun 2009 Location: Brisbane
|
Post subject: | |
|
You need to sabotage the plumbing so that the shitter is overflowing with raw sewage after half time. _________________ "The night is a very dark time for me" Chaz Michael Michaels |
|
|
|
|
Damien
Me Noah & Flynn @ the G
Joined: 21 Jan 1999 Location: Croydon Vic
|
Post subject: | |
|
Go outside prior to the game and have someone from the subcontinent run an electronic wand over you before you re-enter your front door. _________________ 'Collingwood are the Bradmans of Football'
The Herald - 1930 |
|
|
|
|
John Wren
"Look after the game. It means so much to so many."
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
|
Post subject: | |
|
are you the bogan nuffy element? _________________ Purveyor of sanctimonious twaddle. |
|
|
|
|
sixpoints
Joined: 27 Sep 2010 Location: Lulie Street
|
Post subject: | |
|
Get your seating arrangements sorted.
Have them in a row tightly together ensuring access to the toilets and food are restricted. Your guests must continuously squeeze past you banging your knees every time. They must do this at least 10 times every quarter.
Someone’s got to put their chair directly in front of yours and spend most of the game standing up blocking your view.
Finally at half time one guest must film you on a go pro, project your face onto your tv until you kiss someone. |
|
|
|
|
melliot
Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Location: Bendigo
|
Post subject: | |
|
Have the dogs/cats dress up in fluro green. As they leave the living room at half time give a gob full of abuse, boo with passion, point and shake your fist, tell them their blind, and shouldn't come back. |
|
|
|
|
melliot
Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Location: Bendigo
|
Post subject: | |
|
And don't forget to have the +1 spill beer on you. |
|
|
|
|
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Location: somewhere
|
Post subject: | |
|
This is all so funny! _________________ You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
|
|
|
|
Fatui Attata
Joined: 29 Sep 2009
|
Post subject: | |
|
Take a leak in the kitchen sink.
Have 3 subcontinental chaps crouch at the foot of your tv for the last 5 mins and then when the siren goes, they stand facing you, blocking the tv.
Bang on a tv tray as an opposition player has a set shot.
Just chuck any rubbish on the floor
Mute the tv and play a really old BBC Crowd Noises double album (one side for each quarter)
Go outside after the game and struggle finding your car in the driveway.
Have a yuppie couple (neighbours?) come and sit in front of you and not watch the entire game.
Sit in another smaller room with an iPad and imagine you're at Margaret Court Arena at the $10 game simulator.
Put your tv at the back fence and sit in a fold up chair on your roof for your very own backyard level 4 experience.
Have a family member sit in a corner facing you, flashing a torch at the end of each after goal ad _________________ I'm not the pheasant plucker I'm the pheasant plucker's son, and I'll be plucking pheasants til the pheasant plucker comes! "Try saying that with a mouthful of peanuts!!" Lou Richards |
|
|
|
|
|