A joke. Long but worth the punch line

[rash]

Three Leprechauns, Mick, Eugene and Pat, are sitting in the pub
> getting quietly pi*sed when Mick shouts out,
> " Jaysus, I'm bored wid bein' a feckin' nobody. I'm tinkin' I'll
> take
> meself down to de Guinness Book of Records office and get meself
> entered in de book"
>
> "What de hell are ye talkin' about, ye eejit. You've dun nuttin'
> to get in de book for" says Eugene.
>
> "Well, it's me hands, Eugene" replies Mick waving them around, "
> I tink dey are de smallest in de world and I'm going to get meself
> entered into de book and I'll be world famous."
>
> Both Eugene and Pat agree that they are quite small and they all
> carry on drinking quite heartily.
>
> A little while later Pat pipes up " Ya know Mick, if ye can get
> into de Guiness book of records for yer small hands, so can I."
>
> The other two smirk at each other and Mick says "How can ye have
> de smallest hands in the world if I've got dem, ya bloody fool."
>
> Pat replies "It's not me hands Mick, it's me feet", and he takes
> off his boots to show them. " I tink dat dey are de smallest feet in
> de world and I'm gonna get meself entered into de Guiness Book of
> records too."
>
> The other two agree that they are quite small and with that they
> all go back to their drinking.
>
> Some time later Eugene chimes in, "Well, if youse two can get
> into de Guiness Book of records, I can too."
>
> The others fall about laughing.
>
> "What de feck have you got dats so feckin' interesting?" cries
> Mick.
>
> "It's me dick, Mick " he says and pulls down his breeches to show
> them. They both howl with laughter as Eugene pulls out his
> little dick.
>
> "Jaysus, ye've got the best chance of us all, Eugene", says Pat
> "Dat's de smallest feckin' dick I ever saw" and with that they
> all go back to their drinking.
>
> Later on, full of the gills, they are heading home when out of
> the corner of his eye Mick spots the Guinness Book of records office
> further down the street.
>
> "Jaysus", he says "I'm gonna go into dat office and I'm gonna get
> me
> hands measured" and off he staggers.
>
> Ten minutes later he comes out with a big smile on his face
> waving his hands in the air. "I did it, I did it" he says "I'm in de
> Guinness Book of records for de smallest hands in de world. Nobody's got
> smaller
> hands dan me" and with that he pushes Pat forward. "Go on ye eejit. See
> if ye have de smallest feet in de world. Go on"
>
> "Feck it. I will " says Pat and off he staggers. Ten minutes
> later he comes out with a big smile on his face, kicking his feet in the
> air.
>
> "Jaysus, I'm famous." he says. "I've got de smallest feet in de
> world, I'm famous, I'm famous " he yells.
>
> With that Eugene staggers to the office door.
> "I'm gonna get me dick measured" he says, "I won't be long"
>
> The other two are waiting anxiously for Eugene to return, but
> time slips by. Ten minutes turns into twenty and twenty into thirty.
> Still no sign of Eugene. One hour later the office door swings open
> and Eugene slouches looking disconsulate.
>
> "Whats wrong ?" asks Pat, to which Eugene replies
>
> "Who the feckin' hell is Sam Newman???

[Kristin5]

Legendary - love it!!!!

[Joel]

Loved it, unfortunately it was very predictable. Good anyway.

JDF

[@shLicuria]

wicked mate, lurrrrrrved it


Luv da 1 da only da @sh Licuria

[Kristin5]

Ok, here's another one:

HER SIDE OF THE STORY
He was in an odd mood when I got to the pub to meet him. I thought it might have been because I was late but he said nothing.
The conversation was slow going so I thought we should go somewhere more intimate to talk.
We went to a restaurant but he was still a bit funny.
I tried to cheer him up although I started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him and he said no but I wasn't really sure. In the cab on the way to his place, I said that I loved him.
He just put his arm around me, but didn't say anything.
We finally arrived at his place and by this time I was wondering if he was going to dump me!! When I tried to ask him about it he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I told him I was going to bed. After about 10 minutes he joined me and we had sex. But he seemed really distracted. Afterwards I just wanted to leave but instead I just cried myself to sleep.
I don't know...I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else???



HIS SIDE OF THE STORY

Pies lost. Got a root though.

[Joel]

LOL, very funny!

JDF