Pagans leaked Memo (good read)

[Culprit]

M E M O:

Denis Pagan has announced that every player on the senior list at Carlton is up for trade.
For interested buyers here is a short summary of each player's current status prepared by the Carlton Football Department:

Matthew Allan - Currently the best ruckman at the club, which is like being the prettiest woman in Iraq.

Callan Beasy - At this rate will bring up his 100th game in 2037.

Simon Beaumont - I think he once had a good half against someone.

Blake Campbell - I don't know enough about footy to know about him.

Scott Camporeale - Wants out and who could blame him.

Cameron Croad - Recruited under the [snip] brother rule.

Justin Davies - Attempted to escape mid-season but only made it as far as Shepparton before he was caught.

Andrew Eccles - Traded for Kris Massie. Game, set, match. - Adelaide.

Brendan Fevola - Very reliable, strong character. Carlton plan to build a team around him.

Brad Fisher - Promising forward with bright future if he doesn't get
trampled by Lance.

Simon Fletcher - Hopes to finish his career back with Geelong Reserves if his form lifts.

Anthony Franchina - Back in the ones. He hasn't improved, everyone else has got worse.

Scott Freeborn - Supposed to be de-listed in 2001 but the paperwork got lost.

Barnaby French - Great catching skills, could end up in the Bangladeshi slip cordon.

Adrian Hickmott - So much happier now.

Ryan Houlihan - One of Carlton's toughest, now doesn't that say something.

Darren Hulme - Unhappy and uncontracted.

Anthony Koutoufides - His knee is as pretty as his wife.

Matthew Lappin - Hates Pagan Loves Beer

Luke Livingston - Will inherit Mick Martyn's position, as League's most unskilled player.

The Mighty M's - Manton, Martyn, Mathews, McKernan, Merrington, Murphy and McKenzie - All to be de-listed.
Andrew McKay - In career best form or is it just an illusion? Check the meaning of contrast to find the answer.

Karl Norman - Like the flowering hibiscus he was born, flourished and faded all in a single day.

Jim Plunkett - One of the great names in NFL, not so great in the AFL.

Ian Prendergast - Great aerobic capacity which will come in handy chasing opponents over the next few years.

Brett Ratten - See Adrian Hickmott.

Kade Simpson - "I think I may have over estimated this Simpson fellow" - Montgomery C. Burns, Dental Plan episode.

Trent Sporn - They say he's great, I say how do you know?

Bret Thornton - I'm confused, who's better him or Wiggins.

Simon Wiggins - I'm confused, who's better him or Thornton.

Jarrad Waite - Courageous lad. Has had to overcome the personal tragedy of playing for Carlton.

Lance Whitnall - Carlton fans love him and there'll be more of him to love in 2004. And a lot more in 2005.

Laurence Angwin - My client pleads not guilty Your Honour.

Tom Hedge - Who??

Jon McCormick - Good young lad, should get out while he can.

Sean O'Keefe - Has done enough to get de-listed and re-drafted again.

Michael Stinear - No idea who he is but he must still be a chance to win the Carlton B&F this year.

[JLC]

I heard that Carlton may be aligned with Noble Park next year as Noble Park want to bolster their depth and a couple of the Carlton players might make their team.

Fevola is a chance but Brent Williams has been in good for this year so he will have a fight on his hands....lol

jlc

[pepstar]

i'm still waiting for the doggies to win another game....

[AGE]

So true Pepstar. If only they had won those 4-5 games in the middle of the year.

[JLC]

The doggies will be ok as they have a platform from which to build and will have early choices in the National Draft.

Im sure Carlton will be hot favourite next year to win the wooden spoon.

jlc

[AGE]

But we want Carlton to go Back 2 Back!
Wish there was something we could do! haha

[WhyPhilWhy?]

I have a dream - Carlton are found not to have "played on their merits" to achieve the priority draft pick this year, and are then fined that pick.