What pisses you off? Part II: Electric Boogaloo

[David]

[think positive]

geezus **** thats unbelievable,

heartbreaking they treat you that way

and good on you for helping someone.

im in shock at the whole story, which given my rather bizarre family, says something!

[David]

Thanks Jo. I've been reflecting on it and thinking, maybe this is just how it is for everyone, and most people have horror stories about parents or in-laws? But while I'm sure some have it much worse, there really is something uniquely bizarre about this dynamic.

And of course I'm the lucky one, in that I can shut most of this out and keep them at arm's length emotionally (as much as I would have liked to have a good relationship with my partner's parents). Lola doesn't get to flip that switch quite so easily.

[stui magpie]

It may be a blessing in disguise if that's how they operate. Most people would have some sort of horror stories about family whether it be parents, children, inlaws or whatever, but better IMHO to have absent inlaws occasionally throwing a rock than have them constantly there, interfering and criticizing everything you're doing.

[think positive]

It’s my old mans birthday on Wednesday. I still have his ashes here. I’m going to take them to the beach house this weekend and set him free in the water. We didn’t have a funeral and neither sister has mentioned him since the day he died. When I was in England I found out that my parents gave me up at 2 weeks old and I lived with my auntie. My cousin told me and my dad confirmed it. They got me back at about 16 months when we moved to Cyprus. By the time I found out my aunt had severe dementia. Too late to say Thankyou. She’s gone too now. The sins of the parents. They can haunt you. I’ve had every emotion under the sun. But it actually explained a lot. I never felt particularly wanted, well not until it was time to look after them in their old age!!! My cousin acted like I was her long lost sister! She’s an only child and 7 years older. We message each other a bit, and I’ve sent her a food parcel when she was struggling during covid. You can’t choose your family, and you can’t always block out the shit that lands on you because of them. You just learn to live with it. I think of the guilt they laid on me about various things, being a kid who so badly wanted to please everyone, that guilt damaged me forever.

I really feel for Lola,. When I put my kids in a catholic school my mum didn’t talk to me for about 3 months til I finally confronted her, and said well it’s the best school around here, I’m doing the best I can. It still took time. Just another layer of guilt! I’m trying really hard not to do the same to my kids.

I remember the day I went to my old town in England, and I cried so hard. I found out 2 days before. But I cried for that 7 year old who never wanted to leave. I’d love to go back and tell her it’s ok, your going to be fine. I cried for the kid who never really got the childhood she deserved.

Even though we are so far away from each other, it’s like I did gain a sister. When we met she just loved me so much. I’ll always have that.

I have a couple of friends I value so much. They are the family I choose.

All the best David, to you and your family. And I hope lolas parents find some humanity. Xxx

[David]

It sounds like you and her have a lot in common – I know she would relate to a lot of the stuff about your early life. Thanks for sharing this. And while it’s something no child should ever have to experience and I’m so sorry you did, I’m glad you’ve found your own people. That’s one of life’s greatest lessons, I think: we all deserve to be loved and valued for who we are, and the people who give us that may not necessarily share a family name or blood relation. It’s liberating to discover that.

[think positive]

cheers mate i couldnt agree more, peace to you all xxx

[stui magpie]

Cheers Jo, you go OK.

You could have turned out a hell of a lot worse, my Aunty (dad's older sister) was given to childless relatives as soon as she was born.

We figured out it was because she was an illegitimate conception leading to a shotgun marriage. So she was shipped off so no one could join the dots. After 2 more kids, another daughter and my Dad, she was bought home to join the fold.

Problem was, she was spoiled rotten. The family she had lived with were moderately well off, my Grandad wasn't. She went from being an only child given whatever she wanted to the eldest of 3 in a poor house and didn't she make everyone else pay for that.

I grew up not realising until I was an adult how much she resented me. I ignored the little put downs growing up, but as the endest child and first to provide a grandson, she thought she was special. Then I came along, youngest of all the grandchildren and the only one to carry Grandads surname. Instant favourite, to Aunty's eternal anguish.

I keep meaning to go and piss on her grave when I visit Dad, but I liked her husband and he's buried with her so I don't.

Anyway, what I meant to post in here was I'm pissed off with getting older and fkn hair growing in places it's not supposed to be,

I go in for a haircut and it's eyebrows and ears as well. Then there's the forest that sprouts out the top of your nose. Trying to watch TV and there's this hair standing up on my nose right in my vision.

[think positive]

Cheers to the first, never ever any danger of me feeling special or entitled as a child! Funny thing is I’m the most normal of the three of us! Must have been confusing, and probably disappointing for your aunt, but you don’t take it out on others xxx

Hehehe I have one hair that grows on my cheek, drives me nuts if I forget it! Never had much hair and it’s thin as, no hair on my arms or thighs, I was shocked when I learnt people shave all their legs and some their arms! I shave my legs about every 2 weeks, get my eye brows waxed the same. Rip the band aid is less painful than one at a time! I coloured my hair too dark last week, last night I mixed crushed vitamin c tablets and anti dandruff shampoo, left it for an hour and it lightened it several shades! Might get some foils next week before we go to qld for the weekend the week after! I must be the most low maintenance female around for hair, I hate sitting in that chair, so I rarely even get a trim! Always been that way!

[Skids]

People who park right next to me!

I like to keep my cars dent and scratch free, but no matter where I park, some clown has always got to park right next to me, even if there's 789 other empty bays!

When I had the old Stang I would park as far away from other cars.... head back to car, yep, someone right next to me.

We picked up out new CX8 a few weeks back. On my last R n R I head to the local aquatic centre for a swim. Car park is about 40% empty. I find a nice spot, far away on the other side of the carpark, island on one side and not another car within cooee.
Come out an hour later, old mate has reversed his Nissan Patrol in right next to me.... why!!???

[think positive]

Ditto

Every
Single
Time!

[swoop42]

^In fairness you always park in known dogging areas.

[What'sinaname]

[think positive]

Went to highpoint today, my car has a dead battery so I had the ranger, I parked way in the back, drvethrough spot cos the thing is so long, stupid old mole parks right next to me, no way I could safely open the door even, and the carpark was only about 1/3 full,

So I move the tank, and walk passed the hiorebag andglare though her windscreen, slag!

[stui magpie]

Got up this morning, had my walk, hopped in the shower to go into the office today, something's not right. Water is luke warm and not getting hotter. managed to wash without adding any cold at all, get dressed and go check the hot water service. yep, she fungool.

Water leaking everywhere.

Quick google search, got someone coming out after lunch to quote for a replacement. Gonna go for the continuous flow rather than tank.