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"Dis" R U OK?

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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 10:57 am
Post subject: "Dis" R U OK?Reply with quote

Over the years ive been here, more than one poster has written posts that smack of depression in one form or another, or to some degree. Personally i think everyone goes through, in varying degrees, periods, or at least a period, where sometimes either life is not meeting expectations, or life just feels like too much. For me it coincided with quitting my lowly but much loved job as a merchandiser. it was a few hours a week, better than retail pay, but not by much, but i loved it, thrived at it, excelled at it, but more importantly, i got that human interaction. For someone as talkative as me thats vital. I was Happy, in the best shape of my life. Then the kids got their licences, finished school, junior joined a pro team so i was no longer coaching, plus i dislocated my shoulder, lost my fitness, my ability to do Mud runs, hit menopause and gained nearly 10 kg! I was now working from home, looking at these 4 walls, which i love, but even so, a gilded cage, is still a cage. I worked out in my home gym when i could, alone, then showered and worked in pjs all day, the novelty soon wore off. And then anxiety hit! Its fair to say I hit rock bottom. Then people started dying. I knew i was struggling. I couldnt find the way out for a long time. I didnt tell anyone, only my youngest realised i wasnt right. I got her help when She lost a best friend to suicide, and now She is just so switched on to emotions. "Dis"
I tried, i really tried, to be happy, to be positive, and my tears were shed in the shower, when no one was home. I cried buckets too many times to count. I simply hated being home alone. I was happy the rest of the time, but the daytime was torture. 40 hours a week its too much time to be miserable. I dreaded it. Screaming at the footy was a massive outlet for me, and so too, this forum. I miss the old times, but dont we all? the past always seems more positive when you look back for the most part. But we could laugh together, cry together and cheer each other on. Thats not what this post is about though, thats just me being grateful for this forum when i so badly needed it. 'Dis"
I truly believe falling into photography saved my soul; fortunately my life was never at risk, i never got that low. It gave me an outlet, almost meditation, and also, more importantly for me, a way to make people happy. the last 3 years ive dragged myself back to me, to the Joanne that i want to be. I stilll HATE to do paperwork all day, but now i have a system! I am truly grateful, that I can see all this looking at myself, knowing that I go through this, knowing to step out of it when i need to, there was a long period of time where i could not see that.
In this day and age, with suicide rates soaring in every age group, every sex, with mental illness being more to the forefront, with people able to say "I have a problem" its not so easy to look from the outside and say its an excuse. Dont get me wrong, im sure some people use it as an excuse. I remember juniors councillor, i cant remember what it was, it was fairly trivial, and Junior said "its no excuse for whatever" and She said "isnt it?, why isnt it? I think it is". I see so many things differently now.
Social media for me, looking in, is just the death of human decency, good manners. These days anyone who is my facebook friend, they get lots of pictures, the occasional update, memes, collingwood posts, and the odd anti cruelty post. I rarely engage in discussions, ive got to deep a couple of times, and i run out of energy (sorry David, ive done this on your page!!). I dont get my phone out at the dinner table, unless someone wants to see a pic, or one of my kids texts or rings me. It might be funny to see people walk into poles, I can do that without looking at my phone!) and tables of people, not just kids, on their phones, but it so bloody sad. ...

If you have read this far, you get the reason for me baring my soul. (ps, i dont want or need opinions on how i live my life, ive got this!) junior is doing her masters in Education, And She reads a lot of books on self help etc. If things happen for a reason, this one is it! She just read a book by Hugh Van Cuylenburg. The Resilience Project. She just got her placement, at the AFL branch of Seda, Hugh once worked there. perfect!! I said something negative after a recent family get together and she immediately said "but does it make them happy?" hmmm. last sunday i came home to find a copy of the book on my bedside table. I started reading it yesterday lunchtime, i finished on the drive home this morning. Im putting my pain here because i believe its a pain many share at some stage or another, for what ever reason, to what ever degree.

its about finding happiness through gratitude, empathy and mindfulness. Hugh is spreading the message, from schools upward, its such an important message. I cant recommend this book highly enough. Its life changing. it wont fix you as you read, but i really believe everybody can gain from it. If you need convincing go to page 198. At the very least you will find your eyes a little watery!!

We all love Adam Treloar, ill save you googling "DIS"

"At Collingwood Football Club, too, the story of Stanzin made a huge impact on the players. One day I noticed captain Scott Pendlebury had posted a photo on social media with the caption, “Dis moment #gratitude.”

“What’s that about?” I asked when I saw him.

“That little boy you told us about,” Pendlebury replied. “I really loved that story. I’m living out my dream with footy, but we can all get stuck thinking about the negatives in life. His story has really helped me to see the positives. And by the way, next time you’re watching, pay close attention to Adam Treloar. If you can get a photo of his wrist, just have a close look.”

“How come?” I asked.

“Just have a look.”

It turned out that after the Resilience Project talk, star midfielder Treloar – who has since revealed he’s battled severe anxiety during his career – had started writing “DIS” in large black letters on his wrist strapping before every game, tapping his wrist and saying to himself, “Adam, you are blessed”. When I saw him next, I asked him what made him feel blessed – was it being grateful to play AFL in front of all those people? “I live in ­Australia,” he replied. “We get food, we get water, we get shelter. I remind myself of that whenever I get stressed. ‘Dis’ means this life in this country, every day.”"

https://www.theaustralian.com.au/weekend-australian-magazine/out-of-india-hugh-van-cuylenburg-and-the-resilience-project/news-story/61e08684e74bfce53ac6bbc9222497d4

The Dustin Martin story (ugh!!) is interesting too, so to the FIFO worker, and the woman who did not want her child participating in Hughs lessons. For yourself, for your kids, or for someone you know, the book is $22 free post on amazon, its also available at kmart and Big W.

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 6:20 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

Cheers Jo,

I'll have a look at that.

I struggle from time to time, the idea of focusing on the positives rather than the negatives is a simple one, but good.

I don't like asking for help, never have. I hate it, I like being self reliant but appreciate it when people like you and WPT sometimes just do the ask, RUOK.

I won't go through my issues and triggers (Kudos to you for opening up), lets just say while I don't have any desire to take my own life, I'm not afraid to die. Just sometimes though, I am afraid to live.

I'll give it a look and again, muchos credit for baring your soul there.

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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 7:14 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

stui magpie wrote:
Cheers Jo,

I'll have a look at that.

I struggle from time to time, the idea of focusing on the positives rather than the negatives is a simple one, but good.

I don't like asking for help, never have. I hate it, I like being self reliant but appreciate it when people like you and WPT sometimes just do the ask, RUOK.

I won't go through my issues and triggers (Kudos to you for opening up), lets just say while I don't have any desire to take my own life, I'm not afraid to die. Just sometimes though, I am afraid to live.

I'll give it a look and again, muchos credit for baring your soul there.


The bolded is me to a T! A big part of why I wrote this post, because i know im not alone there.

And thankyou.

And you know im only ever a PM away mate Smile cheers

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ronrat 



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: Thailand

PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 11:22 pm
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I had 12 months off work with depression. When I was ordered back, against my GPs wishes, I was hit with a performance management monitoring etc. At the first meeting I asked my arsehole supervisor why no one had bothered to email or ring me to maybe go out for a coffee or a beer to see what issues I had, He responded with "I instructed everyone not to talk to you". I tehm asked why I was told NOT to attend the end of year function in a stress free non work environment and was told "We didn't think it appropriate" I then asked why I was told not to go to lunch on my frst week back but stay at work and man the phones. "Oh you weren't around "

With that my witness, fellow Pies supporter and Equity Officer spoke out.

"You had numerous chances to make him still part of the team and have not done so. In my opiniion it could well have contributed to his illness and certainly done nothing to welcome him back. I am reporting this as a inclusion issue"

With that the powers to be shit themselves and hung the arsehole out to dry and moved him sideways. 3 months later I applied for a a Voluntary early retirement and was accepted. The arsehole accepted work at a private company but was told he couldn;t go there as a matter of conflict of interest.

After 34 years of putting in for weddings, funerals, baby showers, birthdays and retirements I was told to pay 2 bucks for a morning tea and did not even receive a card. Was told to do nothing and had my pass taken. I told them to walk me to the door and let me go but they said I had to finish my timesheet at level. I saiud ok I will be here until 6 17 pm and some one will have to stay with me, escort me to get lunch and escort me to the toliet. The assistant Director jjust said sign his bloody sheet ot I will and walk him to the door and let him do the rest of his life on his terms. I was in the pub 20 minutes later with 7 or 8 ex colleagues , none from that area, and never enjoyed a pot more. (Except 1990).

I really think group dynamics in the work place has changed and not for the better. I also do not think mental illness is understood either. When I started at Defence we had a BBQ every 3 months plus friday at 4.00 pm was hit the pub. We covered for each other and cared for each other.We knew wives and girlfriends and husbands of workmates as friends and not a facebook link.

Try to have one laugh a day.

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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 11:38 pm
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thats a sad and heartfelt read Ronrat, Im so glad you had the guts to walk and stand up for yourself. Just so wrong though. I agree on the change in workplace attitude, i guess thats why i hang on to my GMH memories so fondly. Cheers, thankyou for sharing, and I hope you are well. xxx
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piedys Taurus

Heeeeeeere's Dyso!!!


Joined: 04 Sep 2003
Location: Resident Forum Psychopath since 2003

PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2020 3:40 pm
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Guys, keep up the good fight.
You lot are part of the furniture here, and I HATE changing furniture.

So don't go away anytime soon, eh?

Dyso

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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:09 am
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No chance if that mate! Cheers xxx
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