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What made me laugh today...

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ronrat 



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: Thailand

PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2021 6:32 pm
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Thief not far from us broke into a house. Decided to have a nap and turned on the aircon/ Owner wakes up and walks past his daughters bedroom and notices aircon on. She is away in Bangkok at uni so he opens door, sees Somchai asleep and rings police, Police arrive, wake him up and take him to monkey house,
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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2021 9:37 pm
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Easter Monday I shot over to cobram early to get some stuff from Mitre 10. There was already a number of caravans on the move.

On the way back I saw the Police setting up a breath testing station at Koonoomoo just short of the Cobram turnoff.

3 cops, all traffic to be stopped. Within an hour there would be a queue half way back to Toc and after getting through that the poor bastards would have copped the bottleneck on the Hume by the Wallan exit.

There would have been some swearing at the delay. Laughing

They also had a breath testing station at Wunghnu on Thursday arvo which I ran into on the way home from work. The Vic breathalisers are relics from the 80's compared to the NSW ones. Shocked

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stui magpie Gemini

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Joined: 03 May 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2021 12:07 pm
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I like Arj Barker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqb3pGg2o0s

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2021 3:23 pm
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Cruising round the Thomastown market this morning, saw a bloke manning a stall who could do a good impersonation of Kim Jong-Un, wearing a T shirt that had written on it:

"I'm not Gay, but $20 is $20"

I actually LOL'd. Laughing

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eddiesmith Taurus

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Joined: 23 Nov 2004
Location: Lexus Centre

PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2021 7:47 pm
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Temporary Australians $$%^%%$ up is always funny. Had one dickhead today pull in front of me at the lights then when it went green he forgot how to get his bike to go Laughing

What’s even more funny or maybe just sad was when he had the same problem at the next set of lights, thankfully in front of someone else that time!!!
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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:06 pm
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me and hubby have been working on the eldest new house, it settled last tuesday, me because im a mum, him because i think hes ready for them to leave!!!! anyhow, we all went there the first day, shes been busy with work and hens nights so me and her went tonight. the grout was gross it took me 8 solid hours to clean, i set up her bed, bedside tables, cleaned and cleaned although it was left pretty well, freshly painted, not a bad job. hubby has ripped out the front yard and is ordering rocks and fake turf etc. so we drive into the garage, shes excited cos its remote, climb out, me with just leather cleaner for the couch, and her with her arms full, i walk in and switch on the light, she steps in behind me....and splat, drops the bottle of red she brought to celebrate!!! it smashed of course, chipped a tile, luckily didnt get any on the carpet, just my pink uggs!! poor kid nearly died, me, "well i guess we christened it and gees, you really are my daughter!!!" i just took her a glass of red - in a plastic glass!!!
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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:36 pm
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Nice, but if my parents had tried to make over my first house, I'd have likely stabbed them both.

far Coff, it's mine/

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watt price tully Scorpio



Joined: 15 May 2007


PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 1:20 am
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think positive wrote:
me and hubby have been working on the eldest new house, it settled last tuesday, me because im a mum, him because i think hes ready for them to leave!!!! anyhow, we all went there the first day, shes been busy with work and hens nights so me and her went tonight. the grout was gross it took me 8 solid hours to clean, i set up her bed, bedside tables, cleaned and cleaned although it was left pretty well, freshly painted, not a bad job. hubby has ripped out the front yard and is ordering rocks and fake turf etc. so we drive into the garage, shes excited cos its remote, climb out, me with just leather cleaner for the couch, and her with her arms full, i walk in and switch on the light, she steps in behind me....and splat, drops the bottle of red she brought to celebrate!!! it smashed of course, chipped a tile, luckily didnt get any on the carpet, just my pink uggs!! poor kid nearly died, me, "well i guess we christened it and gees, you really are my daughter!!!" i just took her a glass of red - in a plastic glass!!!


😂😂🤦‍♂️

Nice one to support ur children. Great stuff TP

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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 11:22 am
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stui magpie wrote:
Nice, but if my parents had tried to make over my first house, I'd have likely stabbed them both.

far Coff, it's mine/


nope she is wrapped!!! We paid for half of the bed and couch etc, but she picked it all. in fact the only thing shes not happy with is a doona cover her BF mum bought her!!! lets not forget im a clean freak and she left a bowl of icecream in her drawer that petrified!! ive put nets up so she can see out but people cant see in, all the stuff i have bought her for her kitchen over the years (i hate cheap kitchen stuff so i bought stuff when it was on special) i put in the pantry for her to arrange the kitchen as she wants to. but she asked me how i think it should be!
and hubby is building a thing to add height to the too low fence on one side for privacy, the back neighbour has those neighbour be gone trees, the other side is mainly wall. he will build up where the 1 bedroom window is. the front yard was a mess of ugly white rocks, weeds and old piping, he put the rocks down the side to level it (the house is built up a bit and the garden is uneven) and put in a square steel bar to separate the front, hes building a path to the side gate, and will put up a shield for the bins area so it looks better. he has ordered crushed rock and will lay fake turf. plus a bit of a garden bed under the bedroom window. And we are installing sliding door locks, a front security door and a full Ring security system! what hubby is doing will increase the value by at least $20K. I have never met anyone that works as hard or smart as my hubby, she knows that too, and no way she could achieve it on her own without big bucks. she knows it will look great so she just says "thankyou"! Shes only using it for a primary residence for a year, then she will rent it out.

I have to say last night when we walked around it she was so genuinely thankful and grateful, she loved it all. she was going to buy a cheap new couch in a box thing, I found her an 18month old harvey norman full leather set up for $650, quick sale they needed it gone, I showed her how to clean it properly, she did it and it looks brand new! I have been saying for years She needs to get out on her own to appreciate the life she has, and She already is! Im not overstepping, its all her choices, and its becoming a real bonding experience. and i am so damn proud of her!!! cheers

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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 11:23 am
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watt price tully wrote:
think positive wrote:
me and hubby have been working on the eldest new house, it settled last tuesday, me because im a mum, him because i think hes ready for them to leave!!!! anyhow, we all went there the first day, shes been busy with work and hens nights so me and her went tonight. the grout was gross it took me 8 solid hours to clean, i set up her bed, bedside tables, cleaned and cleaned although it was left pretty well, freshly painted, not a bad job. hubby has ripped out the front yard and is ordering rocks and fake turf etc. so we drive into the garage, shes excited cos its remote, climb out, me with just leather cleaner for the couch, and her with her arms full, i walk in and switch on the light, she steps in behind me....and splat, drops the bottle of red she brought to celebrate!!! it smashed of course, chipped a tile, luckily didnt get any on the carpet, just my pink uggs!! poor kid nearly died, me, "well i guess we christened it and gees, you really are my daughter!!!" i just took her a glass of red - in a plastic glass!!!


😂😂🤦‍♂️

Nice one to support ur children. Great stuff TP


cheers mate, it really is xxx

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 7:29 pm
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^

Yeah, I suppose I'm jaded, I left home at 19 and moved to Melbourne where I knew no one and had to be self reliant from day 1. I taught myself how to do lots of things before the Internet existed let alone You Tube.

If your daughter appreciates it, well done you.

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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 8:36 pm
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stui magpie wrote:
^

Yeah, I suppose I'm jaded, I left home at 19 and moved to Melbourne where I knew no one and had to be self reliant from day 1. I taught myself how to do lots of things before the Internet existed let alone You Tube.

If your daughter appreciates it, well done you.

i was kicked out of home at 20, i got a second hand bed someone was chucking out, and the little old guy in the unit across from me knocked on the door and said, i dont mean to be rude but i notice you dont have a chair to sit on, i have a spare, would you like to borrow it? he passed from cancer a couple of years later, and i still had that chair 10 years later when i got married. I had no idea how to do anything, a couple in another unit (its a block of 8 single story single bedroom flats, its not far from here, i drive past every now and again) took me under their wing. I went to her second wedding in Hawaii, She is the lady in the photos i posted this week on my facebook page, heart of gold.

yeah she really does appreciate it, shes been great, i went to the zoo today for the hell of it, she worked all day and cooked dinner for me. She really has changed a lot the last year or so, not as lazy as she was, not expecting everything to be done for her. she went and put the coffee table she bought together last night on her own, took her a while but she did it!!

truth is though, there isnt much I wouldnt do for my girls, it makes me happy to make them happy!

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 9:06 pm
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All good.

I know what you mean with the kids, both my kids left early but came back and lived with me at different stages, I'm really happy now they're both self sufficient. Daughter has been for years, Son only more recently. They don't need me any more and I don't push but both know if they need help the old fart will be there.

I still remember my Dad watching me repair the kids bicycles on holidays in Toc and asking me where the fk I learned to do that. My response was, I figured it out.

It's great when they get to the point where they don't need you, but still come to you for advice or help because they know you know what you're talking about.

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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:57 pm
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the day we beat the Tigers in the prelim!!!

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think positive Libra

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2021 7:34 pm
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Went to the supermarket this arvo, when I drove up my bff was on the doorstep for a walk so off we went! Left the groceries in the car! Come home and hubby is 1.5 hours early, he cutting veggies, “your early, I can do that” him “ I’ve got cement dust everywhere I need a shower so I came home” me “ so go have a shower I can do that” him “it’s therapy”

Me “you need therapy everyday!”

He’s still not sure how to take it!

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