| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
haiku bob
haiku bob
Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Location: Melbourne, Australia
|
| Post subject: Round 1 - Haiku Bob - outgoing sky |  |
|
pre-match
the stars appear
one at a time
outgoing sky
Daicos
sparkles
no sound at the ‘G
except stunned silence
stretcher called
half-time deficit
my worries reach the bar
before me
sweaty moon
no one can land a finger
on Pendlebury
still finishing my sentences Daicos
morning after
the light still on
inside |
|
|
|
 |
LaurieHolden 
Floreat Gymnorhina tyrannica
Joined: 22 Feb 2009
Location: Victoria Park
|
| Post subject: | |
|
We're not worthy! Welcome back.
Some Nick's legends have been coming back through the turnstiles of late.
_________________
"The Club's not Jock, Ted and Gerry" (& Eddie)
2023 AFL Premiers |
|
|
|
|
stui magpie 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
Welcome back Bob, you seem a little rusty, the 5-7-5 composition is lacking but the sentiments are there.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
watt price tully 
Joined: 15 May 2007
|
| Post subject: | |
|
Marvellous, love your work Haiku Bob 
_________________
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman |
|
|
|
|
Brown26
Joined: 14 Sep 2001
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
|
| Post subject: | |
|
The formatting is off but still recognisable
- welcome to the premiership year 
- Ben |
|
|
|
|
haiku bob
haiku bob
Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Location: Melbourne, Australia
|
| Post subject: Round 2 - Haiku Bob - up down back | |
|
solstice—
a spring dream
in autumn
sun and moon
in the same sky
Daicos to Daicos
a pass
no one else can see—
autumn clarity
Pendlebury’s deft touch
how do I want to be
remembered…?
swirling leaves—
the this-way-thatta-way
of Bobby Hill
suddenly
the slow-moving ruckman
bobs up down back
one more goal
before we return to our homes
to watch the replay |
|
|
|
|
watt price tully
Joined: 15 May 2007
|
| Post subject: | |
|
sun and moon
in the same sky
Daicos to Daicos
Magnificent Haiku Bob
_________________
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman |
|
|
|
|
the fuzz
Fuzz loves Bruzz
Joined: 11 Aug 2008
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| love it! |
|
|
|
|
stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
Any danger of sticking to the 5-7-5 structure of Haiku or is this just random poetry with a nod to Haiku?
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
The Prototype 
Paint my face with a good-for-nothin smile.
Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
|
|
|
|
|
3rd degree 
Joined: 22 Jun 2004
Location: John Wren's tote
|
| Post subject: | |
|
great stuff. The Gault in our Stars Please?
_________________
" Ohhh Banksy and out comes the Note Book".
www.facebook/the hybernators |
|
|
|
|
watt price tully
Joined: 15 May 2007
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| stui magpie wrote: | | Any danger of sticking to the 5-7-5 structure of Haiku or is this just random poetry with a nod to Haiku? |
Haiku Bob is (excuse the pun) well versed in Haiku.
_________________
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman |
|
|
|
|
haiku bob
haiku bob
Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Location: Melbourne, Australia
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| stui magpie wrote: | | Any danger of sticking to the 5-7-5 structure of Haiku or is this just random poetry with a nod to Haiku? |
Not sure if this is a serious comment but a mere glance in any non-Japanese haiku journal anywhere in the world would tell you that (non-Japanese) haiku, for many legitimate reasons, linguistic and otherwise, has moved on from the dictionary definition. |
|
|
|
|
stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
Very good, I did some reading up on it. I'll shut up now, please carry on your Haikuness.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
LaurieHolden
Floreat Gymnorhina tyrannica
Joined: 22 Feb 2009
Location: Victoria Park
|
| Post subject: | |
|
A vibrant season
Perchance to dream of September
Of Fly’s masterpiece
_________________
"The Club's not Jock, Ted and Gerry" (& Eddie)
2023 AFL Premiers |
|
|
|
|
|
The Rules
FAQ
Usergroups
Calendar
Search
Log in
Register
