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RudeBoy
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
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Last weeks effort against the Roos made me depressed.....just saying.  |
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Damien 
Me Noah & Flynn @ the G
Joined: 21 Jan 1999
Location: Croydon Vic
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| think positive wrote: | | Damien wrote: | | swoop42 wrote: |
Beams might well have mental health concerns but whether that's the root of his problems or just a by product of poor personal choices and behaviour is anyone's guess. I'm less sympathetic to the latter.
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Swoop your post sums up perfectly my thoughts on this subject. Particularly this bit I’ve quoted which is what I was clumsily trying to say with my Gary Lyon reference.
Sure society didn’t recognise mental health issues for way too long but there has been a massive over correction. |
be thankful you dont know better than to say this.
obviously, you have no idea. lucky you. |
Actually I was diagnosed with depression about 10 years ago. Been on cymbalta ever since.
I do think there has been an over correction though. In that so many scenarios are labelled as depression; when they probably aren’t.
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'Collingwood are the Bradmans of Football'
The Herald - 1930 |
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RudeBoy
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
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One thing's for sure. Every case is different, and none of us outside the club or his family - even those who may have been diagnosed with some form of mental illness themselves - are in any position to pass judgement, good or bad, on Beams and his situation.
All we should do is wish him well and hope he gets his life back on track. If that leads to him playing again for us, well and good, but it's of secondary importance to someone's health and personal well-being.
Our club is supporting him and that's good enough for me. |
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Pies2016
Joined: 12 Sep 2014
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| Achilles wrote: | Depression is a very treatable condition, I can speak from experience. It shouldn't take long for Beams to be back on his feet. What worries me though is that he's started a social media group. Not sure that's a good idea.
I've been reading a book about trolls - Troll Hunting by Ginger Gorman. It's a great read, well researched. She interviews people who troll. They're an equally sad group of people. They lack empathy and most have had a really really tough (loveless) childhoods. The best strategy is to ignore and not reply to them. |
Couldn’t agree more about continuing to indulge in social media while he was fighting his demons.
I would have thought deleting a couple social media apps would have been one of the more easier sensible decisions to make during the down times.
Having said that, good luck Beamsy.
We all look forward to you winning the battle much sooner than later. |
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Damien
Me Noah & Flynn @ the G
Joined: 21 Jan 1999
Location: Croydon Vic
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| qldmagpie67 wrote: | I wasn't going to post on this topic as I think everyone understands my view on anything about Dayne can be viewed ss biased due to our relationship
I have decided to hopefully give some clarity without giving away any confidences shared on a personal level
Firstly let me say no ones opinion here is wrong everyone is entitled to feel how they feel about this
Ok since Dayne was born everything football has been centred around his father. His father was a better than average country footballer playing in the league around Yarraownga and then at the Southport sharks in the QAFL.
PHIL (teapot his Dad) was a sort of local legend in footy terms. Tough as teak but fair as the day is long. Highly respected by both team mates and opponents alike.
Dayne learned everything he knows about footy from his dad. His love of footy his skills everything that made him the footballer he is came from his dad.
When the diagnosis of bowel cancer came along in 2014 season Dayne continued to play footy each week whilst still travelling to Qld to be close to his father and his treatment. He always thought his father would be fine. As that year continued it became clear that his fathers health wasn't improving as they had hoped.
Dayne made the decision then to go back to Qld against his fathers request.
There was a window in 2016 when the diagnosis seemed more positive but unfortunately cancer has a habit of coming back and often worse then the first time.
On March 2nd 2018 his father lost his battle with cancer
Both Dayne and Claye had spent the previous couple years close to there father hoping for the best but knowing in the back of there minds that the battle mightn't be over.
Fast forward to the end of 2018 when the Lions wanted Dayne to extend his current deal and he was honest and told them of his intentions to return to Victoria post 2020 with his wife and kids.
In Dayne's mind Qld wasn't home without his father being there and he believed by going back to Victoria it would help his dealing with his fathers death
Dayne believed by returning to Collingwood where he had so many happy memories and a lot of close mates like Sidey everything would be fine
Unfortunately this isn't the case he is still suffering the same demons he was in Qld after his fathers passing
You see even though he moved away from where he could,picture his father sitting at the Gabba watching him play and cheering the same goes when he runs out to train and play in Melbourne because his father watched him there as well
Dayne hasn't dealt with his fathers passing well. We all handle grief differently.
Dayne loves football but that love comes from his father and he can't separate those 2 loves and that created conflict in his mind
How he comes to deal with it long term is the reason he's walked away from footy at the moment
The timing of this isn't ideal for either the club or Dayne but we can't choose a perfect time to get help
I can tell you this the 2 hours each week when his on the field playing with his mates is when his mind is at its best because he thinks only about football but that's only 2 hours out of a very long week 52 weeks a year
His very conflicted between the 2 and getting that right will allow him to move forward and then hopefully return to footy and be able to play the way he has in the past
For all those nicksters who have wished him well I'm sure he appreciates it as I know I do. I've seen comments from posters who I know aren't fans of Dayne but they have put that aside to wish him well and that speak volumes of them in my mind
I like everyone else hopes he gets to a place he can be both healthy mentally and physically and return to footy. |
Thanks for those insights. I disagreed with his recruitment but I genuinely wish him well. There’s the rumour going around that I’m sure everyone has heard about why he got out of QLD. Are you in a position to categorically put this to bed?
_________________
'Collingwood are the Bradmans of Football'
The Herald - 1930 |
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think positive 
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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Classy
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You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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makri 
Joined: 29 Oct 2005
Location: Clifton Hill
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Recommend people watch True Stories: Avicii on Netflix. A chilling account on how someone with seemingly everything at his fingertips can fall into a downward spiral. Have to admit it’s a bit difficult to watch towards the end because you know how it ends.
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Magpie Jumper Gallery:
https://www.instagram.com/magpiejumpers/ |
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qldmagpie67
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
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| Damien wrote: | | qldmagpie67 wrote: | I wasn't going to post on this topic as I think everyone understands my view on anything about Dayne can be viewed ss biased due to our relationship
I have decided to hopefully give some clarity without giving away any confidences shared on a personal level
Firstly let me say no ones opinion here is wrong everyone is entitled to feel how they feel about this
Ok since Dayne was born everything football has been centred around his father. His father was a better than average country footballer playing in the league around Yarraownga and then at the Southport sharks in the QAFL.
PHIL (teapot his Dad) was a sort of local legend in footy terms. Tough as teak but fair as the day is long. Highly respected by both team mates and opponents alike.
Dayne learned everything he knows about footy from his dad. His love of footy his skills everything that made him the footballer he is came from his dad.
When the diagnosis of bowel cancer came along in 2014 season Dayne continued to play footy each week whilst still travelling to Qld to be close to his father and his treatment. He always thought his father would be fine. As that year continued it became clear that his fathers health wasn't improving as they had hoped.
Dayne made the decision then to go back to Qld against his fathers request.
There was a window in 2016 when the diagnosis seemed more positive but unfortunately cancer has a habit of coming back and often worse then the first time.
On March 2nd 2018 his father lost his battle with cancer
Both Dayne and Claye had spent the previous couple years close to there father hoping for the best but knowing in the back of there minds that the battle mightn't be over.
Fast forward to the end of 2018 when the Lions wanted Dayne to extend his current deal and he was honest and told them of his intentions to return to Victoria post 2020 with his wife and kids.
In Dayne's mind Qld wasn't home without his father being there and he believed by going back to Victoria it would help his dealing with his fathers death
Dayne believed by returning to Collingwood where he had so many happy memories and a lot of close mates like Sidey everything would be fine
Unfortunately this isn't the case he is still suffering the same demons he was in Qld after his fathers passing
You see even though he moved away from where he could,picture his father sitting at the Gabba watching him play and cheering the same goes when he runs out to train and play in Melbourne because his father watched him there as well
Dayne hasn't dealt with his fathers passing well. We all handle grief differently.
Dayne loves football but that love comes from his father and he can't separate those 2 loves and that created conflict in his mind
How he comes to deal with it long term is the reason he's walked away from footy at the moment
The timing of this isn't ideal for either the club or Dayne but we can't choose a perfect time to get help
I can tell you this the 2 hours each week when his on the field playing with his mates is when his mind is at its best because he thinks only about football but that's only 2 hours out of a very long week 52 weeks a year
His very conflicted between the 2 and getting that right will allow him to move forward and then hopefully return to footy and be able to play the way he has in the past
For all those nicksters who have wished him well I'm sure he appreciates it as I know I do. I've seen comments from posters who I know aren't fans of Dayne but they have put that aside to wish him well and that speak volumes of them in my mind
I like everyone else hopes he gets to a place he can be both healthy mentally and physically and return to footy. |
Thanks for those insights. I disagreed with his recruitment but I genuinely wish him well. There’s the rumour going around that I’m sure everyone has heard about why he got out of QLD. Are you in a position to categorically put this to bed? |
David I understand your position on his recruitment and that's fair and your well wishes I'm sure are 100% sincere mate
As for the rumour/s about why he left I can say from my knowledge they are all false
If there is other issues to his departure from the lions I am unaware of them
In my coversations with Dayne at the time and since it was the lions who approached him about a trade he didn't approach them
At the end of the day it is what it is and hopefully he finds that place where he can lead a happy life and be the footy player we all want him to be
I'll share part of the text I sent him the other day
Dayne football is a game your wife and kids are your life
Take the time to be the father and husband you need to be for your family
Football won't be in your life forever but your wife and children will
You have my number mate use it any time you need
My door is always open my couch is a non judgement area
We have cold beer hot food and a warm welcome for you, Kelly and the kids
If you need some quiet time you know my 2klms of riverbank are the perfect place to lose yourself for a few hours
Our door is always open know that mate |
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shawthing 
Joined: 04 Jul 2019
Location: Victoria Park
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| qldmagpie67 wrote: |
I'll share part of the text I sent him the other day
Dayne football is a game your wife and kids are your life
Take the time to be the father and husband you need to be for your family
Football won't be in your life forever but your wife and children will
You have my number mate use it any time you need
My door is always open my couch is a non judgement area
We have cold beer hot food and a warm welcome for you, Kelly and the kids
If you need some quiet time you know my 2klms of riverbank are the perfect place to lose yourself for a few hours
Our door is always open know that mate |
Great stuff mate. Dayne has a true friend in you that's for sure. Well done. |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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I feel the need to hug you Qlder!! cheers mate, hes lucky to have you and your family.
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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PyreneesPie 
PyreneesPie
Joined: 22 Aug 2014
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| think positive wrote: | | I feel the need to hug you Qlder!! cheers mate, hes lucky to have you and your family. |
Absolutely. Wow, receiving a text of such unconditional embrace would lift anyone's spirits. |
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RudeBoy
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
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With all due respect QM67, I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to share personal messages you sent Dayne in a public forum.
It's certainly not something I would do if he was my friend. But that's your business I guess. |
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K
Joined: 09 Sep 2011
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| Achilles wrote: | ... What worries me though is that he's started a social media group. Not sure that's a good idea.
I've been reading a book about trolls - Troll Hunting by Ginger Gorman. It's a great read, well researched. She interviews people who troll. They're an equally sad group of people. They lack empathy and most have had a really really tough (loveless) childhoods. The best strategy is to ignore and not reply to them. |
What do you mean by "started a social media group"?
I wish all the players would quite all social media. It's incredibly harmful to them. (Bevo thinks the same.)
There are reports Dayne was contacting the trolls to discuss their trolling with them. That sounds insane to me. They are not worth that attention. |
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qldmagpie67
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
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| RudeBoy wrote: | With all due respect QM67, I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to share personal messages you sent Dayne in a public forum.
It's certainly not something I would do if he was my friend. But that's your business I guess. |
I get were you are coming from Rude but what I shared was a small part of the entire text and text exchange
I wouldn't share anything I thought would hurt harm or embarrass Dayne or his family
The basis of the text I shared was small part of the conversation
It really relates to the thoughts of many on here hoping he has support around him to get better
I understand your thougths Rude and understand they come from a sincere place mate |
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RudeBoy
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
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| No worries QM67. All good mate. |
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