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partypie
Joined: 01 Oct 2010
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| think positive wrote: | | partypie wrote: | TP - checking the medication is one of the most effective things a relative can do when they are concerned about their loved one. If you know a good pharmacist they will do it. Also a urine test checking for the dreaded UTI. Some places do it routinely to keep an eye on things.
The best run nursing home in my area is independent not for profit, they make sure every resident gets enough exposure to sunlight every day, something not done in a lot of other places. Recent research suggests dementia symptoms are worse in winter and early spring, suggesting to me something simple and easily remedied like lack of sunlight or vitamin d may be a factor.
Not calculated in all the discussion about nursing homes is the impact on the health of residents relatives trying to cope with the bullying when they suggest things aren't right. It often turns out the relative is right but is no consolation. I still experience terrible feelings of anguish when I think of the last year of my mothers life.
Friends working in the sector are thrilled about the announcement of the royal commission. It has been mentioned since the 70s so its about time! The training required to upgrade the skills of carers is not all that onerous. I hope to see that one of the outcomes is that staff are required to upgrade their skills on a regular basis. |
Me too mate, its almost like PTSD sometimes, I dont think i will ever get past it. I know I did my best at the time, but still, if only I could have done more... And certainly some of the anxiety came from having to speak up about lack of care, and some abuse at the time.
The lack of sunlight/Vit D just turned on a light bulb. I took my FIL out yesterday but it was freezing, not very appealing in the grounds, so we were only out there while he drank his beer. Im going to buy some of those Vit D Lollies for him, (i get them and other vitamins for hubby, the only way he will eat them!!) and tell my sister in laws to give him one when they visit. thanks for that. And ill get a copy of his meds and show my doc next time i visit. and ill google before that!! cheers
saw this on facebook, sounds like a good thing:
https://975wcos.iheart.com/content/2018-08-24-grandson-invents-way-to-hydrate-dementia-patients-to-help-his-granny/
Apart from increased training, a lot of staff need an injection of care factor - i dont know, maybe a few days on the other end of it! |
Your idea of checking the pharmacy bill is also good. At one stage my mother was on twice the meds she should have been, due to a doctor and a hospital doubling up and the pharmacy combining both prescriptions into a Webster pack. We approached the home suspecting she was over medicated and were rebuffed. Only on checking the account and going to the pharmacy was it identified and sorted out. |
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K
Joined: 09 Sep 2011
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| think positive wrote: | | partypie wrote: | TP - checking the medication is one of the most effective things a relative can do when they are concerned about their loved one. If you know a good pharmacist they will do it. ...
The best run nursing home in my area is independent not for profit, they make sure every resident gets enough exposure to sunlight every day, something not done in a lot of other places. Recent research suggests dementia symptoms are worse in winter and early spring, suggesting to me something simple and easily remedied like lack of sunlight or vitamin d may be a factor.
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The lack of sunlight/Vit D just turned on a light bulb. I took my FIL out yesterday but it was freezing, not very appealing in the grounds, so we were only out there while he drank his beer. Im going to buy some of those Vit D Lollies for him, (i get them and other vitamins for hubby, the only way he will eat them!!) and tell my sister in laws to give him one when they visit. thanks for that. And ill get a copy of his meds and show my doc next time i visit. and ill google before that!! cheers
...! |
By the time people are elderly, their skin's ability to produce vit. D is basically non-existent. For vit. D suppelementation, the form that will actually be absorbed properly (as indicated by blood levels) is the gelcap form (i.e. not capsules). |
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think positive 
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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That I didnt know, thanks Ill check that out.
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You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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watt price tully 
Joined: 15 May 2007
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| partypie wrote: | | think positive wrote: | | partypie wrote: | TP - checking the medication is one of the most effective things a relative can do when they are concerned about their loved one. If you know a good pharmacist they will do it. Also a urine test checking for the dreaded UTI. Some places do it routinely to keep an eye on things.
The best run nursing home in my area is independent not for profit, they make sure every resident gets enough exposure to sunlight every day, something not done in a lot of other places. Recent research suggests dementia symptoms are worse in winter and early spring, suggesting to me something simple and easily remedied like lack of sunlight or vitamin d may be a factor.
Not calculated in all the discussion about nursing homes is the impact on the health of residents relatives trying to cope with the bullying when they suggest things aren't right. It often turns out the relative is right but is no consolation. I still experience terrible feelings of anguish when I think of the last year of my mothers life.
Friends working in the sector are thrilled about the announcement of the royal commission. It has been mentioned since the 70s so its about time! The training required to upgrade the skills of carers is not all that onerous. I hope to see that one of the outcomes is that staff are required to upgrade their skills on a regular basis. |
Me too mate, its almost like PTSD sometimes, I dont think i will ever get past it. I know I did my best at the time, but still, if only I could have done more... And certainly some of the anxiety came from having to speak up about lack of care, and some abuse at the time.
The lack of sunlight/Vit D just turned on a light bulb. I took my FIL out yesterday but it was freezing, not very appealing in the grounds, so we were only out there while he drank his beer. Im going to buy some of those Vit D Lollies for him, (i get them and other vitamins for hubby, the only way he will eat them!!) and tell my sister in laws to give him one when they visit. thanks for that. And ill get a copy of his meds and show my doc next time i visit. and ill google before that!! cheers
saw this on facebook, sounds like a good thing:
https://975wcos.iheart.com/content/2018-08-24-grandson-invents-way-to-hydrate-dementia-patients-to-help-his-granny/
Apart from increased training, a lot of staff need an injection of care factor - i dont know, maybe a few days on the other end of it! |
Your idea of checking the pharmacy bill is also good. At one stage my mother was on twice the meds she should have been, due to a doctor and a hospital doubling up and the pharmacy combining both prescriptions into a Webster pack. We approached the home suspecting she was over medicated and were rebuffed. Only on checking the account and going to the pharmacy was it identified and sorted out. |
Great point.
When my Dad died at 93, 5 years ago I saw his phamacy bill and went through them. Fortuntately he was organized so had them in order. He died while still living independently. I noticed that the pharmacy charged him twice for his purchases (he rarely took meds as such & it was a montly account he used to pay which included all sorts of items and over the counter stuff).
The Pharmacist apologised saying it was a computer error - yeah right. Another bill for about $50 came & I simply reuyrned the mail saying Mr WPT senior no longer lives at the address!!
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“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman |
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watt price tully
Joined: 15 May 2007
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My Mum's 84. In the last 6 months or more there has been a rapid deterioration in memory. I'm sure she has dementia (early stages).
I've in the midst of 5-6 weeks leave. The only break I've had has been going on the marvellous bike ride. I've arranged medical POA and now in the process of being financial POA.
I'll be finding out in November from the memory clinic at a family meeting the results of assessments. This will come as a big shock for her. However since getting the district nurses in daily to monitor her meds she has never been healthier. She thinks now she doesn't need them - forgetting how regularly she was feeling ill before the consistent approach and support).
I've been able to manage to get all sorts of services in when she went to ED abpout 2-3 months ago with high blood pressure saying to the staff that once she is fine with her blood presure I neeeded a plan for a series of her issues that I gave them and that I will not take her home until there was a plan in place. Sure enought they tried to D/C the next day without any of the issues being addressed and without any contact with me (they did of course fix her BP) except her BP.
I gave then a serve, made sure the left hand knew what the right hand was doing & they were then briliant. Couldn't ask for better. Since then she's had:
Meds rationalized & in a sachet pack
Daily RDNS
Rails put in her stair case
Referral & appointments with the local "memory clinic" with neuro psychology, neurology etc
Much better communcations with her GP, phamamcy etc than existed previously
Things are not going to get better. Now the medical stuff is sorted there are there are financial issues to sort. I'm doing a shit load currently and trying to get my brother to visit (he ls retired) but lives 90 mintes away. I'm wanting him to visit for a few hours once a week.
I'm knackered with this & it's just the start.
Early this year Mum was still teaching at the U3A
Finished a book on climate change (Haven't read it & it is not published)
Was self managing in lots of things
The memory deteriration is so marked it's amazing. I feel so sorry for her. It's been so rapid
Having said that if you met her for a coffee you wouldn't really know. So she can still function quite independenly in many areas.
_________________
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman |
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partypie
Joined: 01 Oct 2010
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| One thing I learnt was the energy spent wishing the rellies would help would have been better spent doing something else. |
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K
Joined: 09 Sep 2011
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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| partypie wrote: | | One thing I learnt was the energy spent wishing the rellies would help would have been better spent doing something else. |
yes i know that battle all too well. which is why i felt no guilt when my sisters went and cleaned up the old mans joint without me!
WPT, when my Mum was going into, then was in the nursing home I remember the tremendous support you gave me, Your Mums very lucky to be in such good hands.
As you did, I soon learned you have to push push push, im sure a lot of the time stuff gets actioned just because they dont want to see you anymore!!
I wish you and your family well, make sure you look after You too, so important. The thing that I found really painful about dementia is you effectively grieve twice, the first time while they are still with us, but their mind is going. Im sure the hardest part for Mum was the times She was lucid, and the reality of Her situation was known to Her. I dont think my FIL has that, its like an even confusing fog over everything. Its just plain cruel either way.
I made my mum a photo book as a memory aid, with big pictures and words She didnt need her glasses to see (seriously, do they see nothing? Mums glasses would be putrid every bloody day). It helped for quite a while.
We managed to keep my in laws at home for about 18 months with the home help you describe, I think we all thought my FIL would go first, as his dementia came on rapidly. When we got the news her cancer had spread and her time was limited, we immediately had to find a place for them. She was only there 6 days, and Im grateful for that, If only we could all go out on our own terms.... When i visited my FIL on Tuesday I was shattered, eventually he said 'm just so bored, there is nothing to do but sit". thats all he did at home for the most part as his eye sight deteriorated, but it was in his own space. He was in a group thing, but not really participating until I got there and joined in, and apparently he won the bowls in the morning, but sadly he didnt remember playing.
I honestly believe if they are safe at home, and well monitored, its the best place for them. As for your bloody brother, tell him straight "Mum is not going to be here long, She looked after you, now its your turn, get your arse here". Admittedly I eventually tried that and it still didnt work! When it comes to that my advice is to do what you know you can feel comfortable with later, and I know how that sounds. But some days I couldnt get out of my car in the carpark. And thats OK. There is things I know now, I wish I knew then to help Her, but well life is always like that hey. I can look at myself in the mirror and know I did the best I could. I miss Her every single day.
That book She wrote, id keep that handy, My mum loved me to read to her, and imagine reading something to them they wrote themselves, how very precious. Good luck mate. sincerely, cheers
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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watt price tully
Joined: 15 May 2007
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Cheers TP. I think youre overstating my support to you but Ill take it. 😉
Mum will be around for a good while yet. She just needs support. Were lucky b/c we sort of know the system. However, I dont know the various accommodation options. Mums short term memory is betraying her currently. Now Im trying to get my head around her other matters.
My brother does come to the party but I need to push him: I had to do the same to get him to take my kids to the flicks etc when on school hols - hes a retired teacher . He did do it but it needed a push!
I know how to do guilt😉
Thanks for your support
_________________
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman |
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stui magpie 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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| watt price tully wrote: | Cheers TP. I think youre overstating my support to you but Ill take it. 😉
Mum will be around for a good while yet. She just needs support. Were lucky b/c we sort of know the system. However, I dont know the various accommodation options. Mums short term memory is betraying her currently. Now Im trying to get my head around her other matters.
My brother does come to the party but I need to push him: I had to do the same to get him to take my kids to the flicks etc when on school hols - hes a retired teacher . He did do it but it needed a push!
I know how to do guilt😉
Thanks for your support |
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............I ain't touching that one.  
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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watt price tully
Joined: 15 May 2007
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| stui magpie wrote: | | watt price tully wrote: | Cheers TP. I think youre overstating my support to you but Ill take it. 😉
Mum will be around for a good while yet. She just needs support. Were lucky b/c we sort of know the system. However, I dont know the various accommodation options. Mums short term memory is betraying her currently. Now Im trying to get my head around her other matters.
My brother does come to the party but I need to push him: I had to do the same to get him to take my kids to the flicks etc when on school hols - hes a retired teacher . He did do it but it needed a push!
I know how to do guilt😉
Thanks for your support |
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............I ain't touching that one. |
_________________
“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman |
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HAL
Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.
Joined: 17 Mar 2003
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| Tell me more about your family. |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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WPT dont under estimate the power of being sympathetic to a rant!! I wasnt really brought up with an expect the best from people attitude, so I damn well appreciate a sympathetic or empathetic ear when I get it!! cheers
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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I suppose I've been lucky so far. Mum looked after first her father then my dad at home until they deteriorated to the point they went into the local hospital, basically straight into palliative care, which was quick and inexpensive with great staff.
Similar my other grandparents, Nan looked after Grandad til he went into hospital, he lasted a few months. Nan lived independently til she broke her hip at 97 years old falling out of bed. She was in hospital for a few months, then just decided to die one day.
So, so far I've not had to experience a nursing home.
Mum lives with me. I do the cooking as she's scared of my stove but she can use the crockpot and microwave if I go away for a few days. She's 80 in January and has no desire to live forever. While she's still able to get around and do things she's happy but if that changes, well, she doesn't want to end up like her dad or my dad, nor does she want to be in a nursing home.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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K
Joined: 09 Sep 2011
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On my previous question about the Seaforth assault & police charges:
"two counts of common assault and use of an offensive weapon with intent to commit an indictable offence."
And "Police applied for an apprehended violence order..." |
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