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stui magpie 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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hands up who hasn't had suicidal thoughts.
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Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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Stinger
Joined: 01 Dec 2003
Location: Canberra
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No offence Stuie but me. I have dreams about dying of old age. Watching premiership no. 30. Never had them.
I too lost my father to the big C last year. It still eats at me everyday. He was also a mad Pies fan. I played the highlights of the 1990 and 2010 grand finals in his service just to piss his Bomber and Saints mates off!! Anyway I digress. My point is I think there is a difference between loss, grief, sadness and depression. i Totally get though if distinguishing between all these Emotions gets blurred. |
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qldmagpie67
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
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All people handle grief differently
There isn't a right or wrong way or a book to guide you through it
Dayne like many young men have made errors in there early years and those can play on ones mind for a long time
Dayne also dealt with with the death of J MAC as a young man and sometimes those things haunt people for many years
Dayne and his father shared a very close bond. To Dayne everything about football related to his father who had basically been his coach for many years as a kid and that was one of there shared passions
I've spoken to Dayne a few times and he's still getting help but there isn't a 1 week cure. He's making many adjustments to how he perceived his life would be playing out
He's the father of 2 now and understands he needs to be the best Dayne he can be for his children
Whether he leaves the lions or stays isn't the important part
There's 1 thing I can tell everyone about Dayne
He's a good person his family means everything to him and at the end of the day football is only a small part of the person he is |
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E
Joined: 05 May 2010
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| Post subject: Re: Mental health in AFL - Dayne Beams | |
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| BazBoy wrote: | Dane has succumbed to this ever increasing ailment
We have had Buddy and our Faz and Trav Cloke
Dane stepped down handing captain job to Zorko
Know he ain’t ours but according to Channel 7 mental health on the rise
in 17 to 22 yr age group and 8 people taking their own lives every day |
its Donald Trump's fault!!!!
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Ohhh, the Premiership's a cakewalk ....... |
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think positive 
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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| qldmagpie67 wrote: | All people handle grief differently
There isn't a right or wrong way or a book to guide you through it
Dayne like many young men have made errors in there early years and those can play on ones mind for a long time
Dayne also dealt with with the death of J MAC as a young man and sometimes those things haunt people for many years
Dayne and his father shared a very close bond. To Dayne everything about football related to his father who had basically been his coach for many years as a kid and that was one of there shared passions
I've spoken to Dayne a few times and he's still getting help but there isn't a 1 week cure. He's making many adjustments to how he perceived his life would be playing out
He's the father of 2 now and understands he needs to be the best Dayne he can be for his children
Whether he leaves the lions or stays isn't the important part
There's 1 thing I can tell everyone about Dayne
He's a good person his family means everything to him and at the end of the day football is only a small part of the person he is |
so much to like in this post i dont know where to start, so i wont. I just wish him all the best. hes brave coming out with his struggles, so many men especially, and many women too, wont because of a fear of appearing week in some way. Real men do cry, and so do women.
And for an employer, ie, The Lions to be understanding and help him through means so much. Healthy and happy is more important than any job. My daughter lost a very close friend to Suicide due to medical reasons She felt she couldnt fight, and now my daughter says if only She could have looked down and seen the fallout, If only She were still here, She would be through the other side. We all have moments of despair and we wonder how we will get through them, but you do. Grief comes for many reasons and in many forms, and no one gets to judge how a person grieves and for how long. cheers.
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You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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RudeBoy
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
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| qldmagpie67 wrote: | All people handle grief differently
There isn't a right or wrong way or a book to guide you through it
Dayne like many young men have made errors in there early years and those can play on ones mind for a long time
Dayne also dealt with with the death of J MAC as a young man and sometimes those things haunt people for many years
Dayne and his father shared a very close bond. To Dayne everything about football related to his father who had basically been his coach for many years as a kid and that was one of there shared passions
I've spoken to Dayne a few times and he's still getting help but there isn't a 1 week cure. He's making many adjustments to how he perceived his life would be playing out
He's the father of 2 now and understands he needs to be the best Dayne he can be for his children
Whether he leaves the lions or stays isn't the important part
There's 1 thing I can tell everyone about Dayne
He's a good person his family means everything to him and at the end of the day football is only a small part of the person he is |
Top post QM67. I wish Dayne all the best in life.
Last edited by RudeBoy on Thu Aug 23, 2018 4:45 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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qldmagpie67
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
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| Thanks guys I'm going to try and get the link to the interview from "on the mark" last night with Dayne and Claye for posters who didn't see it on Foxsports as soon as my son tells me how to do so (for all those doubting having children didn't have its advantages this is what there good for these days) |
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qldmagpie67
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
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| RudeBoy wrote: | | qldmagpie67 wrote: | All people handle grief differently
There isn't a right or wrong way or a book to guide you through it
Dayne like many young men have made errors in there early years and those can play on ones mind for a long time
Dayne also dealt with with the death of J MAC as a young man and sometimes those things haunt people for many years
Dayne and his father shared a very close bond. To Dayne everything about mfootball related to his father who had basically been his coach for many years as a kid and that was one of there shared passions
I've spoken to Dayne a few times and he's still getting help but there isn't a 1 week cure. He's making many adjustments to how he perceived his life would be playing out
He's the father of 2 now and understands he needs to be the best Dayne he can be for his children
Whether he leaves the lions or stays isn't the important part
There's 1 thing I can tell everyone about Dayne
He's a good person his family means everything to him and at the end of the day football is only a small part of the person he is |
Top post QM67. I wish Dane all the best in life. |
Cheers rude
I've been cautious in not divulging to much personal info as its not appropriate but I feel that it's important for everyone and especially men to realise it's ok not to be ok and seek help if they feel themselves having bad thoughts
One thing losing my great mate taught me is too talk more about feelings with my son and make sure he knows he can come to us at any time for any reason. He has pressure in his life with his Uni studies mostly brought on by himself and his high expectations he sets himself. We as parents always want our children to be high acheivers but we need to temper that with the realistic outcomes that happen. I've always said to my son if he can look into a mirror and say he's done his best then the grade after that isn't important only trying your best and being honest with yourself is
I was for many years surround in the macho world of rugby league and feelings were never discussed. In the early 2000's there was a spate of young men in there late teens and early 20' who felt under so much pressure they choose to take there own lives instead of seeking help
It's a sad world when that seems the best way out |
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5 from the wing on debut
Joined: 27 May 2016
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| stui magpie wrote: | | hands up who hasn't had suicidal thoughts. |
Never. |
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K
Joined: 09 Sep 2011
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Pies4shaw 
pies4shaw
Joined: 08 Oct 2007
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| stui magpie wrote: | | hands up who hasn't had suicidal thoughts. |
Watching Collingwood play in Grand Finals - or do you mean more generally? |
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qldmagpie67
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
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Many on here aren't rugby league supporters but yesterday a guy named Lance Thompson who played over 200 games for St George has taken his own life.
I knew Lance (not overly well) but we crossed paths several times and he was always a good bloke. He would be like our Goldie in many ways. Not the most talented player but a workhorse who would do whatever asked by the coach for the betterment of the team. He was a fantastic club man just like our own Goldie.
These type of players are as important if not more so than the stars as they seem to be the fabric of the club and hold close the values and ethos of there clubs.
It appears from early reports and I made a few calls to some of his former team mates he has been suffering from mental health issues for some time
Unfortunately Lance didn't seek professional help nor did he confide in his closest friend how bad things were for him
He's not the first former player of professional sport to take his own life and at these times it puts many of life's challenges into perspective
I don't know people on here on a personal level but do enjoy the banter and debating we all participate in.
As I've said many times attack the post not the poster never make it personal. We are all entitled to our own opinions and what we may think is innocent comment about a person we don't know at a different keyboard we don't know how that may affect them.
I'm sure all my fellow pies supporters would never make a comment that they thought could do any harm to another individual on here or anywhere else but we all need to be careful just to make sure.
If anyone out there who reads this and there struggling please pick up the phone and call one of the many great organisations out they for help. If you don't think you can do that call a friend of family member and talk. Often things aren't as dark as it may appear.
Mods I hope I'm not over steeping the mark here but I'm going to leave some numbers for help lines just in case one of our own needs help
Beyond Blue 1300 224636
Mensline 1300 78 99 78 |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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Another great post.
And something I’ve been saying for years here, don’t play the man. Breaking the taboo re mental illness sadly still has a way to go. Especially for men.
Cheers mate, sorry for your loss
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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qldmagpie67
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
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| think positive wrote: | Another great post.
And something I’ve been saying for years here, don’t play the man. Breaking the taboo re mental illness sadly still has a way to go. Especially for men.
Cheers mate, sorry for your loss |
Thanks TP it's a shame for all the media attention some the things get we as a nation still can't get this message through
Lance wasn't a mate of mine just a acquaintance through rugby league but each time we passed socially he was a decent bloke always willing to say howdy and shake a mans hand no matter the result of the game just played.
I know he was a highly regarded player among his peers and from a couple conversations yesterday hadn't adapted to life away from professional sport for whatever reasons.
I reached out last night to a couple former players from our club (Brisbane Broncos) who I know have had a marriage breakdown or suffered some personal set backs since retiring just to see if they were OK. Hopefully they are but I made sure they knew if they needed a ear to talk into or a place to go just to sit quietly (one of the joys of having 75 acres of land plenty of room to see no one) that I was a phone call away. Both players said they appreciated the call and I hope they know they're important people even away from a footy field |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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Wow.
Funny you ‘talk” for years on a forum, and then you find out something, well, I don’t even know, but that’s really amazing of you. Generosity of spirit and time. It’s great to read about a bloke understanding the need for reaching out, and asking RUOK. That’s really great to read, cheers.
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You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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