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The Prototype 
Paint my face with a good-for-nothin smile.
Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
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This is a bit off topic, but thought the current line of discussion is sort of pertained to in a way.
| Quote: | Letter from a Volunteer Coach
"Today I heard a comment made about me behind my back. I started to turn around and look, but then decided better of it and kept my eyes on the field. My wife hears things like this more often than I do, because many of you don’t know who she is. She tells me what you say. I have received... angry emails & texts, full of “suggestions,” about who should be playing where and how I... lost that day’s game for the kids. I thought I’d write an open letter to all of you parents, even though I might never send it. I’ll start it this way: “I am a volunteer.”
I’m the one who answered the call when the club said they didn’t have enough coaches or managers. I understand that you were too busy. I have some news for you. I’m not retired. I’m busy too. I have other children and a job, just like you do. Not only do I not get paid to do this – it costs me money. I see you walk up to the game 15 minutes after it started, still dressed for work. Do you know I’ve already been here over an hour?
Imagine if you had to leave work early nearly every day. I’ve never seen you at a training. I’m sure you’re plugging away at the office. But I’m out here, on the field, trying my best to teach these children how to play a sport they love, while my bank account suffers.
I know. I make mistakes. In fact, maybe I’m not even that great of a coach. But I treat the kids fairly and with respect. I am pretty sure they like coming to my trainings and games, and without me or someone like me, there’d be no team for them to play on. I’m part of this community too and it’s no picnic being out here on this stage like this. It’s a lot easier back there with the other parents where no one is second-guessing you.
And I also know you think I give my son or daughter unfair advantages. I try not to. In fact, have you ever considered that maybe I’m harder on him than on the others? I’m sure he hears plenty of criticism at school from classmates, who hear it from you at home, about what a poor manager I am. And if, even unconsciously, my kids are getting a slight advantage because I know them better and trust their abilities, is that the worst thing in the world, considering the sacrifice I’m making? Trust me, I want to win too. I like to think I treat everyone equally, yes even the weaker players get a chance, after all, in my eyes, it’s all about inclusion
After this game is over, I’ll be the last one to leave. I have to clear the pitch, put away all the equipment and make sure everyone has had a parent arrive to pick them up. There have been evenings when my son and I waited with a player until after dark before someone came to get them. Many nights I’m sure you’ve already had dinner and are relaxing on the couch by the time I finally kick the mud off my shoes and climb into my car, which hasn’t been washed or vacuumed for weeks. Why bother cleaning it during the season? Do you know how nice it would be if, just once, after a game one of you offered to carry the heavy gear bag to my car or help collect the balls, bibs or bottles?
If I sound angry, I’m not. I do this because I love it and I love being around the kids. There are plenty of rewards and I remind myself that while you’re at the office working, your kid is saying something that makes us all laugh or brings a tear to my eye. The positives outweigh the negatives. I just wish sometime those who don’t choose to volunteer their time would leave the coaching to the few of us who do."
Let's all keep this in mind, please feel free to put up your hand & help YOUR CLUB! |
_________________
Ðavâgé
https://www.facebook.com/davehardingphotography
https://www.facebook.com/Davage |
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Skids 
Quitting drinking will be one of the best choices you make in your life.
Joined: 11 Sep 2007
Location: Joined 3/6/02 . Member #175
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As soon as they can count.
Didn't you play marbles to win?
Cowboys & Indians to win?
Footy in Under 9's to win?
I know I did.
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Don't count the days, make the days count. |
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think positive 
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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| The Prototype wrote: | This is a bit off topic, but thought the current line of discussion is sort of pertained to in a way.
| Quote: | Letter from a Volunteer Coach
"Today I heard a comment made about me behind my back. I started to turn around and look, but then decided better of it and kept my eyes on the field. My wife hears things like this more often than I do, because many of you don’t know who she is. She tells me what you say. I have received... angry emails & texts, full of “suggestions,” about who should be playing where and how I... lost that day’s game for the kids. I thought I’d write an open letter to all of you parents, even though I might never send it. I’ll start it this way: “I am a volunteer.”
I’m the one who answered the call when the club said they didn’t have enough coaches or managers. I understand that you were too busy. I have some news for you. I’m not retired. I’m busy too. I have other children and a job, just like you do. Not only do I not get paid to do this – it costs me money. I see you walk up to the game 15 minutes after it started, still dressed for work. Do you know I’ve already been here over an hour?
Imagine if you had to leave work early nearly every day. I’ve never seen you at a training. I’m sure you’re plugging away at the office. But I’m out here, on the field, trying my best to teach these children how to play a sport they love, while my bank account suffers.
I know. I make mistakes. In fact, maybe I’m not even that great of a coach. But I treat the kids fairly and with respect. I am pretty sure they like coming to my trainings and games, and without me or someone like me, there’d be no team for them to play on. I’m part of this community too and it’s no picnic being out here on this stage like this. It’s a lot easier back there with the other parents where no one is second-guessing you.
And I also know you think I give my son or daughter unfair advantages. I try not to. In fact, have you ever considered that maybe I’m harder on him than on the others? I’m sure he hears plenty of criticism at school from classmates, who hear it from you at home, about what a poor manager I am. And if, even unconsciously, my kids are getting a slight advantage because I know them better and trust their abilities, is that the worst thing in the world, considering the sacrifice I’m making? Trust me, I want to win too. I like to think I treat everyone equally, yes even the weaker players get a chance, after all, in my eyes, it’s all about inclusion
After this game is over, I’ll be the last one to leave. I have to clear the pitch, put away all the equipment and make sure everyone has had a parent arrive to pick them up. There have been evenings when my son and I waited with a player until after dark before someone came to get them. Many nights I’m sure you’ve already had dinner and are relaxing on the couch by the time I finally kick the mud off my shoes and climb into my car, which hasn’t been washed or vacuumed for weeks. Why bother cleaning it during the season? Do you know how nice it would be if, just once, after a game one of you offered to carry the heavy gear bag to my car or help collect the balls, bibs or bottles?
If I sound angry, I’m not. I do this because I love it and I love being around the kids. There are plenty of rewards and I remind myself that while you’re at the office working, your kid is saying something that makes us all laugh or brings a tear to my eye. The positives outweigh the negatives. I just wish sometime those who don’t choose to volunteer their time would leave the coaching to the few of us who do."
Let's all keep this in mind, please feel free to put up your hand & help YOUR CLUB! |
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I get this 100%
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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stui magpie 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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Chuck em in the octagon at age 4, winner gets cookies and toys.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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| stui magpie wrote: | | Chuck em in the octagon at age 4, winner gets cookies and toys. |
  caged??
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You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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Damn right.
Back to an argument that was going on a few days ago, participation medals are a crock trying to make every kid feel like a winner when they aren't.
I can live with certificates of participation for special sporting events or training courses, as they're a record of participation not an achievement award.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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Arguement? I thought it was a discussion. Is every conversation where you disagree with someone's opinion an arguement?
Anyhow, I still don't agree. It's a "participation" medal. It doesn't say you won, it says you participated. Some kids will never win a medal. In anything. I designed and ordered the medals for my under nine kids, and all the ones I still see, they still have them. It's called encouragement, and the cost of it was repaid by the smile on their little faces.
And when they were runner up in a grand final, I made damn sure they didn't see it as a loss. It's second, sure as hell beats third! Yes it's disappointing, but it's still a damn good effort.
By the way, every Olympian comes home with something that says they participated in the olympics. I vaguely remember something and a letter from the Prime ministers office. I'll ask my sister.
It's funny, I remember when she got bronze at the commonwealth games (twice) I'd tell people and their attitude would be "oh, not gold?"! Just making the Olympic and commonwealth teams made her a winner in my book.
As for my own participation medals from the mud runs I do, they are all displayed with pride alongside my horse riding sashes, marching medals, netball trophies, and even my school swimming ribbons! And a trophy I got as an apprentice! 2nd in the state. Yep I still have them all, they are all in my gym.on display, or in drawers. when ever I look at those medallions I think of crossing the finish line, how much fun I had, and how bloody good it felt to actually get my worn out old body through all those obstacles.
I guess I don't see competition the same way. Sure, I love to win. And I've done it heaps, in many different sports. Including state and Aussie championship wins. But just being out there, trying, I've already won!
Giving a young child a medallion for having a go, it's encouragement. It's stops around age 7-9 in the sports I know. What's the big deal?
Life can be tough enough, a little harmless joy never hurt anyone.
Cheers!
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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Doesn't need to be an argument, and I get what you're saying.
Just getting to represent Australia at the Olympics is an achievement. It's taken a lot of hard work and sacrifice.
Getting made to participate in the primary school athletics carnival, or getting a game in the under 9's to fill in space isn't an achievement anymore than running out for the local seconds because they're short of players is.
Participating in a tough mudder is an achievement. I got a certificate for jumping out of a plane with a sarcastic prick strapped to my back, not something I'm going to frame it (even if I could find it) but I do consider doing it an achievement.
Giving awards for no more than participating devalues the effort it takes to actually achieve something and sets the wrong benchmark for kids IMO.
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Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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Fair enough, we will have to agree to disagree
(Certainly hasn't effected me or junior though, in fact my whole family plays everything for sheep stations!!!)
Cheers
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You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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The Prototype
Paint my face with a good-for-nothin smile.
Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
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Kids will play to win at any age, it's how you teach them to deal with defeat that should be the focus. A lot of parents fail to grasp the concept of sportsmanship, and fail to allow the kids to play and the coach to coach.
Kids aren't the problem, if you have taught them to be humble in victory, and gracious in defeat then you have no worries. It's when some parents share their shit attitudes is when the problems arise.
Participation ribbons, trophies, etc I have no issue with they're just there to give them memories. I think we should be teaching parents how to behave, so they can teach their children how to behave.
You can remove the scores, but kids know when they're winning and losing, and they will play to win at school, out in the backyard, and anywhere they can. You need to teach them to be a sportsman.
If you don't teach them this, you will always have a few kids that will grow up to be poor losers. Much like the US Women's National Soccer Team goalkeeper who took shots at Sweden's tactics after they lost.
_________________
Ðavâgé
https://www.facebook.com/davehardingphotography
https://www.facebook.com/Davage |
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Pies4shaw 
pies4shaw
Joined: 08 Oct 2007
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| The Australian basketball team is playing like it wants to weigh into this debate with a late, eloquent statement. |
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