Training report 12th February

[qldmagpie67]

Today marked the start of the real training.
Nicks posting XXII hit the track in all its glory.
A fair weather day adorned the hallowed grounds as the faithful gathered to see the cream of posters put through there strides.
A brief team meeting was held in the cellar were last years stand out player qldmagpie67 issued his newly formulated elixir to the posters.
Many screwed there noses up others vomited with the force of a tornadoe others simply swallowed it and then asked had the qldmagpie stolen rocket fuel from the space shuttle program. Yes it was a fine batch of elixir.
The coach addressed the rabble assembled and highlighted the short comings of last years team. It was agreed that the coach was a fool and last year would never be spoken of again.
Once kitted out in there new training garb emblazoned with the new sponsors logo "Saydie's massage & liquor" of Kings Cross (thanks Dyso)
Warm up consisted of some 50m sprints with the stop watch (was actually a sun dial) at the ready.
Standouts in the 50m sprint were Frankiboy who covered the 50m in a record 4 minutes 14 secs closely followed by perthmagpie, mighty magpie, didaksgoal & mugwamp (a special mention to dangles who wasn't actually in the time trial but run past all competitors after eating a dodgy burrito moments earlier)
The coach then called the posters in and demanded a all out effort in a match simulation.
This was met with a mixture of laughter, sharpening of pocket knives, polishing of brass knuckles and a few shadow boxing wannabe's
The first bounce saw Wokko jump high (actually his heel nearly left the ground at one stage) only to be punched in the head by Skaman
The refs whistle blew and Skaman was awarded the penalty (ref was shit scared to blow it the other way)
Interesting matchups in the centre square with Cuthbert Collingwood manning up on Jack Spain, watt price Tully on thomsoc & Donny on September zeros literally (Donny had run 4 paces tripped over his untied shoe laces face planted September in the groin knocking him to the ground where Donny completed the act by landing on him)
The back line featured some familiar faces with Rudeboy, piesnchess, 3rd degree & Lazza all standing around. At one stage Lazza was spotted with his knitting needles out which was thought to calm his nerves until he used them as stabbing weapons on Magpiebat the minute he turned his back.
Think positive, Stui, DTM, Mudwark, King monkey all played roving roles around the centre. Actually to be honest they all looked lost in fact DTM was seen with a compass in his handbell we think it was a compass no one was game to look to closely
The forward line structure looked different with the coach trying something new to solve our lack of goal scoring last year. Tannin was seen sharpening Lazza's knitting needles moments before Magpiebat was attached.
Frankle goes, lazza's parrot, defender, member 7167 all positioning themselves in the forward 50. We are unsure whether they were told to go there by the coach or because it was the closest spot to the pie van.
At the completion of the first half the coach called some troops from the bench to inject some life into the game.
Neil, pies4shaw, swoop42, whatsinaname, dark stranger, culprit & An-Inkling were all injected and then sent into the game.
The coach was very vocal at this point in time as the newly released troops seemed to have special powers of strength and endurance all of a sudden. Special thanks to the teams newest medical officer Steven Dank.
I'm sure his skills will come in handy as the year progresses.
Late in the session a familiar figure strolled casually to the fence. At first it was thought to be Swanny or John Holmes as he was surrounded by a bevy of ladies. On closer inspection it was our favourite son Piedys with his harem of ladyboys.
When quizzed by the coach why he was late he apologised and said his watch was still set to Thailand time.
Dyso admitted he had been training hard and was ready to go.
Thrown straight into the fray Dyso run straight to the forward line past the goals posts to the pie van and promptly ate 25 four n twentys
All in all it was a disaster as several players had heart attacks, there were 5 stabbings, 9 muggings 4 attempted suicides and 1 case of chicken pox (well we assume it's chicken pox from what Dyso told us of his rash)
With any luck most of these players won't be available until rd 4 so hopefully we can find some new talent.
On a positive note the coach praised qldmagpie67 for his newest elixir stating I haven't been this drunk on one drink since Moses played fullback for Jerusalem
There are no other training days scheduled ever

[Darkstranger]

Wow just wow.

[Darkstranger]

Wow just wow.

[HAL]

I'm glad you're impressed. I'm glad your impressed, Darkstranger.

[simon tonna]

when's the footy again

[RudeBoy]

I like your work QM67.

[neil]

Excellent work QM67
That elixir you provided it wasnt made by you was it?
I ask as I will not drink anything on match day that is below 80 % alcohol

[stui magpie]

Someone's bored.


Nice work though.

[skaman]

sorry Double penetration..er post

[skaman]

Well done QM67, seems I'll be playing the Kray Bros role again this year with Rudeboy (P.S Rudie is the gay one..not that theres anything wrong with that!)

[skaman]

Well done QM67, seems I'll be playing the Kray Bros role again this year with Rudeboy (P.S Rudie is the gay one..not that theres anything wrong with that!)

[qldmagpie67]

[stui magpie]

It was a good batch, after a bottle I was able to break the Australian record for the pole vault and I wasn't carrying a pole.

[3rd degree]

love it, any pre season stoushs or dustups at training between thompsonc and Neil ?

[qldmagpie67]