| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
HAL
Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.
Joined: 17 Mar 2003
|
| Post subject: |  |
|
| When? |
|
|
|
 |
stui magpie 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| David wrote: | I really do understand and sympathise with the frustration that some single men feel. It's not nice to feel invisible; I certainly know that from experience. And there aren't always easy answers, either. But I think it's important not to let that frustration turn into resentment or misogyny.
Dave, some women and men are completely shallow, but most aren't. Most people are just like you and me; they want to love and be loved. It can just be hard to get on people's radar if you're not socially gifted or if you're unconventional in other ways, but don't feel like it's an impossibility. The more you find places where you're comfortable and you feel like you fit in, the more chance you have of finding someone you connect with. It's hard and there's a lot of luck involved, but the more generous and open-minded your disposition, the easier it will be. |
Take the internet out of the equation and people used to meet each other at places where people gather together, where you could get to know someone in a social sense.
eg, school/uni, work, church, sporting club.
We don't do church here like the yanks, so that generally leaves school and work. If you're not going to school/uni and you're unemployed or employed in a small place with not a lot of people contact, your options become limited.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
Dangles
Balmey Army
Joined: 14 May 2015
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| So to recap, beauty is subjective, people in the real world don't gauge attractiveness and compatability on a scale of 1-10 and no one is out of anyone's league because said leagues don't exist. |
|
|
|
|
pietillidie
Joined: 07 Jan 2005
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| Dangles wrote: | | So to recap, beauty is subjective, people in the real world don't gauge attractiveness and compatability on a scale of 1-10 and no one is out of anyone's league because said leagues don't exist. |
More like people, relationships, needs and circumstances are so diverse and many-faceted, that the "league" you decide to compete in is one of many "leagues".
Once you've dealt with the narrowness of the goals and world view you had as a teen—and how that was shaped by a desire to satisfy your mother's archetype of the ideal man, exaggerated by your drive to reproduce and be approved by your peers—the options in life are endless.
The high stakes of the traditional career-marriage-house-kids routine probably does make it all seem a zero-sum game in your 20s, I understand. My assumption would be the sooner you can become your own man, comfortable in your own skin, the sooner options start opening up and it all starts feeling less urgent and claustrophobic. That in turn makes you less self-conscious and more attractive. Something like that!
_________________
In the end the rain comes down, washes clean the streets of a blue sky town.
Help Nick's: http://www.magpies.net/nick/bb/fundraising.htm |
|
|
|
|
Jezza 
2023 PREMIERS!
Joined: 06 Sep 2010
Location: Ponsford End
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| stui magpie wrote: | | David wrote: | I really do understand and sympathise with the frustration that some single men feel. It's not nice to feel invisible; I certainly know that from experience. And there aren't always easy answers, either. But I think it's important not to let that frustration turn into resentment or misogyny.
Dave, some women and men are completely shallow, but most aren't. Most people are just like you and me; they want to love and be loved. It can just be hard to get on people's radar if you're not socially gifted or if you're unconventional in other ways, but don't feel like it's an impossibility. The more you find places where you're comfortable and you feel like you fit in, the more chance you have of finding someone you connect with. It's hard and there's a lot of luck involved, but the more generous and open-minded your disposition, the easier it will be. |
Take the internet out of the equation and people used to meet each other at places where people gather together, where you could get to know someone in a social sense.
eg, school/uni, work, church, sporting club.
We don't do church here like the yanks, so that generally leaves school and work. If you're not going to school/uni and you're unemployed or employed in a small place with not a lot of people contact, your options become limited. |
You can always go to nightclubs if all else fails! 
_________________
| 1902 | 1903 | 1910 | 1917 | 1919 | 1927 | 1928 | 1929 | 1930 | 1935 | 1936 | 1953 | 1958 | 1990 | 2010 | 2023 | |
|
|
|
|
ronrat
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: Thailand
|
| Post subject: | |
|
You want to come to Pattaya in Thailand to see how it works. Over 90 percent of the expats,and there are thousands, would be married or living with a Thai woman at least 20 years his junior. No money no honey. Thai men are socially irresponsible and many leave a woman with kids to fend for themselves. The young blokes who come here can't work out why the young Thai chicks don't flock to them. Madonna was right.The man with cold hard cash is always Mr Right.
_________________
Annoying opposition supporters since 1967. |
|
|
|
|
Dangles
Balmey Army
Joined: 14 May 2015
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| ronrat wrote: | | You want to come to Pattaya in Thailand to see how it works. Over 90 percent of the expats,and there are thousands, would be married or living with a Thai woman at least 20 years his junior. No money no honey. Thai men are socially irresponsible and many leave a woman with kids to fend for themselves. The young blokes who come here can't work out why the young Thai chicks don't flock to them. Madonna was right.The man with cold hard cash is always Mr Right. |
Don't know if that's the sort of emotional connection David was alluding to. |
|
|
|
|
stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
[coff] Geoff Edelstein [coff]
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
David 
I dare you to try
Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| ronrat wrote: | | You want to come to Pattaya in Thailand to see how it works. Over 90 percent of the expats,and there are thousands, would be married or living with a Thai woman at least 20 years his junior. No money no honey. Thai men are socially irresponsible and many leave a woman with kids to fend for themselves. The young blokes who come here can't work out why the young Thai chicks don't flock to them. Madonna was right.The man with cold hard cash is always Mr Right. |
If I were a young Thai woman living in dire economic conditions and marriage to a rich older Westerner was a ticket out of poverty, I'd take it too. Wouldn't both partners kind of end up feeling used, though? I'm sure sincere loving relationships can emerge out of such pairings, but they'd have to be in the minority.
You've talked a lot about your partner on here in the past, but I'm interested to hear a bit more about your experience of the relationship. Is it a fundamentally different relationship to ones you've had with Australian women? Did you ever worry at the beginning that she might have had ulterior motives, or would it not have bothered you either way?
_________________
All watched over by machines of loving grace
Last edited by David on Wed Aug 19, 2015 9:09 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
|
|
|
stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
define "loving relationship"
I reckon you'd get a variety of definitions from different people in different situations. None are wrong, most are right.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
David
I dare you to try
Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda
|
| Post subject: | |
|
Perhaps that's an overly vague term. I guess, for me, it's whatever we might think of as the ideal relationship - for most of us, that's probably something like a relationship between equals, with a high degree of physical and emotional intimacy as well as mutual attraction, commitment and trust.
_________________
All watched over by machines of loving grace |
|
|
|
|
stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
That's your definition and there's nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't apply universally and many others will have different ones.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| stui magpie wrote: | | That's your definition and there's nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't apply universally and many others will have different ones. |
Married people for a start
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
|
|
|
|
|
The Rules
FAQ
Usergroups
Calendar
Search
Log in
Register
