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What is the best way to get rid of Bill Shorten?

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David Libra

I dare you to try


Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda

PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 4:54 pm
Post subject: What is the best way to get rid of Bill Shorten?Reply with quote

With Abbott back to 50-50 in some of the polls, this is a question that every patriotic Australian should be considering right now: how can we get the ALP to do a Bill Hayden and send the Shorten-bot to a diplomatic posting in Syr... I mean, Trinidad and Tobago? Is it even possible? Please post suggestions (and suggestions of a replacement, such as Tanya P) here.

Please, no violent fantasies (as tempting as they may be).

I'll kick things off: Gillard gave Rudd a portfolio he was passionate about once he got axed (foreign affairs). Could they offer Shorten the Ministry for Dad Jokes?

Second idea: get him to do an unscripted speech without access to the day's talking points and see if he explodes.

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Dave The Man Scorpio



Joined: 01 Apr 2005
Location: Someville, Victoria, Australia

PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 5:30 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

Why Bother Voting?

You get Screwed anyway

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Pies4shaw Leo

pies4shaw


Joined: 08 Oct 2007


PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 5:45 pm
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Don't we already have a thread on this? http://www.magpies.net/nick/bb/viewtopic.php?t=77058
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pietillidie 



Joined: 07 Jan 2005


PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 6:17 pm
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^LOL.

No one wants the job. You either have to become a more deranged fruitcake than Abbott, or an even dumber and less charismatic cardboard cutout than Shorten; two tasks verging on the impossible.

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 8:06 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

How to get rid of Bill Shorten? You aint gonna like the answers to this.

Option 1. Wait, let nature take it's course and when Abbott gets re-elected hopefully he'll resign in disgrace.

Option 2. Don't worry at all about popular perception that Labor will knife a leader as soon as they become unpopular and that they actually stand for nothing except trying to get in power and vote him out as leader.
2 slight other problems with option 2 are the process put in place by Krudd that the party members have to have a vote on the party leadership and which of the large group of the obvious outstanding candidates would get the nod as replacement.

Option 3. Set up a spurious photo op with Clive Palmer over agreeing to fight against the imposition of the GST on chicken parmigianas and have one of Clive's concrete dinosaurs "accidentally" tip over onto little Bill.

Option 4. Convince him that as a man of action he should personally test out parliament House anti terrorist measures by dressing in traditional Islamic garb including fake beard, putting on an ammunition bandolier filled with cocktail savs and charging at security wielding a plastic scimitar while yelling "Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Allah Akbar". Get the team from the Chaser to be on hand filming it and you could kill several birds with one drone.

Option 5. Put him in a room with no internet access and ask him to hand write a critical analysis of one of Ptiddly's more lengthy tomes. Committing seppuku with a pencil may be difficult but ....................

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Wokko Pisces

Come and take it.


Joined: 04 Oct 2005


PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 8:44 pm
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Labor are trapping in a damned if you do and damned if you don't dilemma. Abbott can call an election whenever, and Labor party turmoil would play right into the narrative that they're not yet ready to govern after their Rudd/Gillard/Rudd fiasco. Of course, if they leave him in they bleed poll numbers and get rolled once Abbott calls an election at the most opportune time.

Labors best bet is to cop this one on the chin, let Shorten lead them to a narrow election defeat then install their 'saviour' whoever the hell that might be.
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HAL 

Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.


Joined: 17 Mar 2003


PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 8:47 pm
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So? Let's wait and see what they do.
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David Libra

I dare you to try


Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda

PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 10:30 pm
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Honestly, I still think the Shorten-bot can beat Abbott, because Tony is Tony; even if the public have a short memory regarding pretty much everything the government did in their first twelve months, he's bound to do something idiotic sooner or later. 2016 could well be a drover's dog election, and, well, Bill is nothing if not the drover's dog.

But if Abbott does win, I'm leaving the country.

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Dave The Man Scorpio



Joined: 01 Apr 2005
Location: Someville, Victoria, Australia

PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 10:50 pm
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David wrote:
Honestly, I still think the Shorten-bot can beat Abbott, because Tony is Tony; even if the public have a short memory regarding pretty much everything the government did in their first twelve months, he's bound to do something idiotic sooner or later. 2016 could well be a drover's dog election, and, well, Bill is nothing if not the drover's dog.

But if Abbott does win, I'm leaving the country.


I feel the same way abbott.

IF He Stays in then there a lot of Idiots in the Country

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Wokko Pisces

Come and take it.


Joined: 04 Oct 2005


PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 11:00 pm
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David wrote:

But if Abbott does win, I'm leaving the country.


Lefty tears are the only thing that make an Abbott win worthwhile Laughing
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Tannin Capricorn

Can't remember


Joined: 06 Aug 2006
Location: Huon Valley Tasmania

PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 12:32 am
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Abbott is unelectable. Back it in.
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Morrigu Capricorn



Joined: 11 Aug 2001


PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 12:49 am
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Nope Tannin you would think so but no - " you ain't coming back here unless you go directly to jail" ISiS " traitors" will see him back in - I am astounded at how many sane people will vote for him on this alone as they are scared Shorten and Co will be " soft" and let them back in

What a strange world the place has become Confused

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David Libra

I dare you to try


Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda

PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 3:11 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

Wokko wrote:
David wrote:

But if Abbott does win, I'm leaving the country.


Lefty tears are the only thing that make an Abbott win worthwhile Laughing


I won't cry about it, I'll just quietly pack my bags. Seriously.

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pietillidie 



Joined: 07 Jan 2005


PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 3:57 am
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^Yes, very depressing if you stay confined locally. Of course, any sane developing nation worth its salt is pushing to become what we ought to be, so focusing elsewhere can help. Just make sure that elsewhere isn't the UK!

Now would be a good time to revive the Democrats in a completely new incarnation, except that no one on either the left or the right understands practical economics, and thus cannot steamroll the present racist ticket with comprehensive, doable, forward-looking policy that promises betterment. An holistic policy dealing with the economy, terrorism, Asian stability and growth, productivity, careers, and so on, is staring everyone in the face with the turn against fossil fuels and unstoppable push towards automation and AI, but you actually have to know something about those as a whole before turning them into policy platforms!

The Greens, for all their good individual ideas and individuals, are apparently too conservative in their own way to re-brand themselves as an economically-progressive party first and foremost. Or, is it that they don't know anything about the economy and business, having shunned it for too long now? Both, methinks.

Certainly, Australia is scraping the bottom of the barrel at the minute in terms of both platforms and personnel.

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pietillidie 



Joined: 07 Jan 2005


PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 4:19 am
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Wokko wrote:
David wrote:

But if Abbott does win, I'm leaving the country.


Lefty tears are the only thing that make an Abbott win worthwhile Laughing

True, it would be a huge win for the paranoid, fundamentalist, house-bound conservative blogosphere over the marauding forces of niqab-adorned brown-skinned darkness taking over their computer screens!


Boo!



Laughing

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