Advice please

[Morrigu]

So I know that many here have expertise in many varied fields so I would like to ask for your help please.

I would like to encourage my brother to leave full time work and do some study which I am sure will help him restore his self esteem to a degree and to be brutally honest minimise what he has to pay in child support for next 12 months ( he ain't a dead beat trying to shirk his responsibilities - see budget cuts thread )

He works in logistics I have researched courses and the Diploma looks good so my question is can he do this as a retraining thing, can he get some financial assistance whilst he is studying - if he was to leave work can he be unemployed and study or can he work part time and study?

Course fees aren't a problem - I'm happy to pay them and he can pay me be back - he isn't has never been and doesn't want to be a charity case so I have to tread carefully.

Any good advice anyone can give me would be very much appreciated!

[HAL]

Your polite style is very nice. Who told you that?

[1061]

As far as I understand it unless it's changed in this budget if someone hasn't completed a Cert 3 in anything he should get funding for one course.

[stui magpie]

Govt assistance for people who resign is difficult, they normally make you wait until you've used up any leave and anything else paid as a termination payment first.

Assuming he can enroll in a course using practical experience to qualify as a mature age student, he has 3 study options.

1. Full time at a campus
2. Part time at a campus
3. Distance learning over the net.

It would sound like for a number of reasons you would want him to be physically attending a campus, so the question then is, is is current work flexible enough for him to reduce his hours to part time and work around uni attendance, or can he get employment that is?

With the fees, my suggestion would be you give him the money, he pays up front, then claims the fees on his tax return as a deduction making it easier for him to pay you back. Self education expenses are tax deductable.

I'll assume you've got other areas like his ongoing financial committments for mortgage/rent, food, utilities etc under control cos if he gets anything from centrelink it won't be mutch.

[partypie]

[Morrigu]

Cheers - rent etc is not a major drama Stui as he and up until recently the brat live with mum and she owns her own home.

I am seriously concerned about his mental state and that in turn impacts on mum - all this stress for an elderly woman with leukemia well .....

I'm just trying to find ways to make it as good as I can for both of them whilst preserving their independence and it is some juggling act!

I'll sit down with him over the weekend and see what we can sort - I just have no idea about government assistance and what is possible and to be honest at the end of my work day no matter how much I look and read I still seem to have no idea

I am grateful for any help - thank you!

[1061]

I'd suggest once you know what type of things he'd like to study is contact either the Campus or private institution offering the course they will know all the tricks.

[stui magpie]

OK, at the risk of going over all sorts of ground you've already covered......

You're trying to achieve a number of different things which aren't necessarily complimentary. Him reducing his pay so to stick one up the bitch sounds more than fair in theory, how well would it work it practice? What would the kids reaction be to dad doing that/ I suspect not good.

My advice is to take a deep breath, step back from the problem and then work out what the main issues are and what you want to do about them. NB, a solution to one problem may make another worse and vice versa, be wary of anything that looks like fixing everything and pay due respect to the law of unintended consequences.

prioritise what are the key problems and look to address them with something that doesn't make other things worse.

I'll have a stab (feel free to belt me on sight) that your brother is closer to 50 than 30. There's a real possibility that packing him off to uni may not be the best thing for his mental health. You need to make that call.

Goodonya for doing what your doing. It wouldn't hurt to get him to talk to a psychologist either, I'm guessing he's dealing with some serious feelings of rejection, busted self esteem etc like you do with any relationship breakup but worse. When you have busted a gut to raise a kid single handed then they turn away from you to the deadbeat parent, that seriously stings. Simple distractions may not be enough, some counselling may help particularly if it's good counselling.

[Morrigu]

I understand what you are saying Stui and strange as it may seem to some I am a qualified clinical psychologist - I don't practice as one - I prefer to practice in current my role as a nurse consultant. Correct re age and there is no hope of him seeking professional help - I need to provide this through stealth as his sister - right or wrong that is the way it is.

For me it isn't 't about sticking it to the mother but I can read the signs and this is an issue for him and I can understand that - he has in the past articulated a desire to gain a qualification it isn't something I have decided for him and I just want to have the right information to give him re options - ultimately it is his choice that is how it should and must be - it just is something I don't have the expertise in -hence the request for help.

In all honestly it is my mum's welfare and peace of mind that is my driving force and at this time I don't give a flying fat rats clackers about the brat ( maybe that's cause I have never been a parent ?)

I dunno .........

[stui magpie]

^

All good, I'm done. I like giving advice to intelligent people, dummies don't get it.

I have no more expertise that you don't have covered but if you do want someone to bounce ideas off you know where to find me.

[Morrigu]

^ thank you - I appreciate that I really do!

[partypie]

As the carer of someone with a terminal illness I would say that the most the difficult part for me is dealing with other family members ( and social workers but that's another story) especially where the family has been split up. Some of my relatives have behaved in a way that is most detrimental and it is not unusual. Stui's comments regarding unintended consequences echo my experience. Carers Australia has a good counselling service.

Regarding study, what about a short course? Your brother could try some study without committing to something long term.

As for an income, could he become your mothers carer and apply for the carers allowance? I'm pretty sure some study is okay. I thought about doing some myself but I don't get much spare time.

Best wishes

[3.14159]

[Bruce Gonsalves]

My daughter has started a diploma of logistics and has gained a traineeship with a large transport company.
She loves it, getting a good wage for an 18 yr old, one week on at Vic Uni, then 3 weeks on at work.

Check out the Victoria Transport Association website, they placed her with the company.

[Morrigu]

^ thanks yes that is the one I looked at and he seems very interested. He already has a job with a large National company as a pallet controller so he should be able to claim it as a self education expense.

He is good at his job so he needs to stay there to give him some positive reinforcement - he feels a failure and at work he feels he is not!

I looked into the carer thing PP but for the above reasons he needs to keep working. He could get a carer allowance but it would be included in his child support income and he would have to pay more - really WTF

We will get him though this!

I appreciate all of your words and advice - many thanks!