Revenge porn and slut-shaming

[David]

I'm sure many of you will have heard of revenge porn by now. For those of you who haven't, it's the disturbing phenomenon in which people post intimate photographs or videos of their ex-lovers or one-night-stands online, usually as a means of getting back at them for some perceived slight. What's worse is that there are people out there who have set up whole websites as dedicated platforms for this kind of thing, sometimes including names and contact details of the people featured in the photographs.

As someone who has, on occasions, taken naked photographs of people I've been in a relationship with, I find myself especially disgusted at those who would betray the trust of the people they were intimate with like this. It's not what you might call a "gentlemanly" act (most—though far from all—of the victims are women), to say the least.

Obviously it must be quite unpleasant for private photos like these to be shared with the entire world. But what disturbs me most is the way third parties react to such incidents.

Take a look at this article, for instance:

http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2014/mar/30/charlotte-laws-fight-with-internet-revenge-porn-king

It's a mostly triumphant account of how the mother of one of these women successfully took down one of the web hosts who profited off the misery of others (her case is slightly different—her email was hacked). But I want to point the focus elsewhere, on something that more or less gets taken for granted when cases like these arise: how the rest of society responds.

[3.14159]

Is it better than pity sex?

[ronrat]

All the fixations with selfies and other such self indulgent bullshit is going to lead somewhere.

[HAL]

Perhaps there are a few exceptions.

[Wokko]

Like the thread where people mocked the guy for his piercings and body modification, so too does the act of putting naked pictures of yourself online when you're the kind of person who then gets upset that people see them points to lack of intelligence, insight and wisdom. Thinking that your actions happen in a bubble and have no impact on life, or that individual choices and actions don't come with consequences seems to be the problem here.

Of course there are deeper issues with how society operates, but the main culprits in 'slut shaming' are other women, and I'll leave that to others to delve into. You can bet the college or highschool American girl who puts a nude photo up on the net isn't being mercilessly attacked by her male peers, but by her female 'friends'.

As for getting fired or other social consequences, well this comes down to reputation and much of the same arguments in the free speech thread. If you express yourself in a way that contravenes social norms (sending self porn over the internet) then society will enact consequences. Imagine a high level business meeting when suddenly the CEO of a company looking to put millions into a deal recognizes your company representitive... not from linkedin, but from Redtube.

Moral of the story, teach your daughters not to send, post or even take naked or sexual photos of themselves, even with 'long term' boyfriends and prosecute/sue any arseholes who decide to either take such pictures without consent or disseminate pictures that have been given for private use (not sure on the last one, once you give someone a photo they might be free to do what they want with it).

[HAL]

I can't imagine a high level business meeting when the CEO of a company looking to put millions into a deal recognizes your company representitive

[Wokko]

[HAL]

Enough about me, let's talk about the Pies.

[David]

[think positive]

im sorry, bottom line, don't put yourself in the position where those pics are out there. keep your rudie bits to your self, unless you don't care what others think.

trust no one, not even yourself (think drink)

and yes, women are bitches, but guys can be just as merciless if you don't happen to conform to the "perfect female image" and then even if you do.

how about teach everyone self respect, respect for others, and a little modesty is not a bad idea.

I don't believe in teach your daughter to dress with the thought a rapist is out there. while I don't like my daughters dressing in belts and a teeny top, that's the way it is. what I believe in is teach everyone to look but not touch unless invited. unfortunately society is getting worse when it comes to making excuses " I was drunk, she led me on, I couldn't help myself" bullshit.

but we don't live in the ideal world.

so keep your pants on, keep the cameras out of the bedroom, unless your getting residuals, and trust no one.

modesty is not shame, and its nice to keep a little something for yourself. ie, flaps up!

[Wokko]

What makes your morality more right than the morality of Iran or of someone who still holds chastity as something important? If morality is relative then holding sexual conduct as something society deems important then that IS the prevailing morality of that culture.

You can take the moral relativism pill and only have it apply to what you want it to, zealous moralists must be respected too. If someone wants to work in the sex industry, then they need to understand that other career and relationship prospects are likely going to be harmed and make their decision wisely. Same goes for making your own porn and giving it free to everyone in the world. Society still holds fidelity, modesty and chastity as something important so if you want to go against that either as some form of social rebellion or through sheer ignorance then you'll pay the consequences.

Interesting that you claimed my scenario was sexist and then you presumed a female to be the porn star when I made the scenario gender neutral.

As for hypocracy, well that's the nature of the beast when it comes to social morality, it is usually something to aspire to rather than something we naturally hold. Society, when it discovers people outside those norms, inevitably judges and condemns.

[stui magpie]

I think I'm with Wokka on this one. There's no point arguing that the current shouldn't be in the river, if you jump in it's going to take you no matter how hard you argue.

Better to accept the current exists and work around it.

[David]

Moral relativism doesn't stop me from holding progressive social values. Like most people, I think that contemporary Australia is a better place for its inhabitants to live than Nazi Germany—not because a cosmic power has willed it so, but because citizens are on average happier, healthier and in less danger of being gassed. Likewise, I think it's empirically true that women are psychologically better off when they are treated as free, equal human beings, as opposed to chattel. That's not a moral view, it's a rational and empirical one. It's the same standard by which I judge any political issue. Some will disagree, but that's what science and logic are for: if you can prove to me that society is better off when people's personal lives are rigorously policed, or when the sexual act—one of the human species' most fundamental experiences—or the human body itself is treated as taboo, then I might come around to your view, but in the meantime reality seems to be pointing squarely in the opposite direction.

As for society holding sexual morality and chastity important, it's not the 1950s any more. The sexual revolution is old news; in many respects, sexual promiscuity is now the cultural norm. Some parts of society, I suspect, have just been a little slow to catch up (though I worry sometimes that we're regressing).

You're right about society judging and condemning the "abnormal". Welcome to the world of being homosexual at almost any point in human history. Welcome to being a Catholic in Elizabeth II's England, or being an intellectual in the middle ages. But guess what? We overcame those forms of irrational bigotry, and we can overcome these, too.

[think positive]

[pietillidie]

It's not an either/or, folks.

Fight the discrimination and hypocrisy, but advise responsibly based on harsh realities. Some people have more stomach for the fight, some less, so the choice they make will depend a lot on their personal constitution.

No doubt some who fight the system too much need to worry more about their own health and the health of those around them by going with the flow at times, not because they support the flow, but because society is not always their burden to bear. (The martyrdom complex).

But, and here's the catch, those who think it's too hard or unhealthy to fight, for whatever reason, should at least support those who are fighting, as mad as they might be. We all have our own specialisation and therefore unique contribution to make; so why block others who are pushing forward more radically? We need people pushing the boundaries, whatever their motive.