Saverio is fat...and other stories from Round 1

[Damien]

It was with extreme enthusiasm that I ventured into the 'G' yesterday. But how I was disappointed when I left though. We had so much more of the ball than Hawthorn and we couldn't convert. Shawy played his three trumps, Bucks, Willow, Burnsy on the half back line and while they all did well, there was not much happening elsewhere, hence we couldn't kick a winning score. I would like to offer some comments on some of our players:

Sav Rocca - He is fat, very fat, I'm talking like a house!! He couldn't get off the ground, the first mark that was paid to him he actually dropped, his booming 65m goal was brilliant but it was all he did all day (although he did have a bounce on the wing at one stage) His knee seemed ok but he needs to loose a lot of weight - fast.

Mark Orchard - Welcome back 'Orch' - was a prolific ball getter but needs to ensure he uses it properly. He will be a very valuable pick up.

Paul Licuria - Looked good early in the game, has a touch of class. Needs a good nickname though. Licuria is too hard to shout from standing room at the 'G' with a mouthfull of beer.

Jason Wild - Has actually improved his skills and as usual gave his all.

Damian Monkhurst - needs to play in front whenever possible as he cannot get off the ground to spoil.

Gavin Brown - I could not believe it when he lined up at CHF, sadly Browny cannot play there anymore. He should be left in a pocket or a position with less responsibility. His kicking is not good enough to take shots at goal from CHF. If Shawy leaves him there he will not see out the season.

Tyson Lane - wanted the easy kicks and was constantly staging for frees, not impressed at all.

Scott Crow - Get a heart, soft as shite.

Nick Davis - kicked a nice goal, but will need to get it more in future games. will improve by 6 lengths.

Nathan Buckley - as usual, was easily the best, but was quiet in the last quarter after copping one in the knackers. Had the better of Crawford for three quarters but young Vandenburg did well on him in the last.

Rick Olarenshaw - His stats flattered him, had it 20 times according to the paper, but didn't do anything meaningful. I'll give him another chance though.

Glenn Freeborn - Didn't get it much, but every possesion, he used it well, could be a big improver.

Cameron Venables - knocked the living shit out of Daniel Harford in front of the MCC members and is a big lump of a lad. More game time required next week. Got called 'El Tel' from very early on too, I like it.

Tony Shaw - was too negative yesterday. Give Bucks license to roam between half back and full forward where he can kick a few goals. Plenty of room for improvement. Bring in Tape next week and maybe Patterson ( I don't like him much but he can kick a goal)

I know it doesn't sound great but we can definately do much better against the Blubaggers next week...hope so anyway.

Damien.