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stui magpie 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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This post I read in a blog comments.
| Quote: | I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on eBay no more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.
I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass
Neighborhood Watch.
I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.
Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on eBay) and ran it up the flag pole.
Now,
the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret
Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.
I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.
Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel.
Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.
Hot damn -- Safe at last! |
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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HAL
Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.
Joined: 17 Mar 2003
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| That sounds better than cold damn -- Safe. |
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think positive 
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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| stui magpie wrote: | This post I read in a blog comments.
| Quote: | I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on eBay no more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.
I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass
Neighborhood Watch.
I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.
Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on eBay) and ran it up the flag pole.
Now,
the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret
Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.
I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.
Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel.
Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.
Hot damn -- Safe at last! |
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Hehe, that's funny!
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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David
I dare you to try
Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda
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HAL
Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.
Joined: 17 Mar 2003
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| What is your real name? |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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Saw this on facebook, pretty sure it's an urban myth but I still laughed.
| Quote: | Outside Bristol Zoo there is a carpark for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, it’s parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1.40 for cars and £7 for buses.
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.
The Council did some research and replied that the carpark was the Zoo’s own responsibility.
The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.
The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.
Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy … is a man who’d apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day — for 25 years.
Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds … and no one even knows his name. |
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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partypie
Joined: 01 Oct 2010
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| Gilligan McLachlan channeling Norman Gunston at the Port/China announcement |
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Skids 
Quitting drinking will be one of the best choices you make in your life.
Joined: 11 Sep 2007
Location: Joined 3/6/02 . Member #175
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The Russians swooping the US warships😂😂😂
Wankers!
_________________
Don't count the days, make the days count. |
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Bruce Gonsalves
Joined: 05 Jul 2012
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| stui magpie wrote: | Saw this on facebook, pretty sure it's an urban myth but I still laughed.
| Quote: | Outside Bristol Zoo there is a carpark for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, it’s parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1.40 for cars and £7 for buses.
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.
The Council did some research and replied that the carpark was the Zoo’s own responsibility.
The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.
The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.
Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy … is a man who’d apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day — for 25 years.
Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds … and no one even knows his name. |
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Great story, I read about this about 10-15 years ago. |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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Gogglebox! Never watched it before!
Parents and kids, gay couples watching a show about Luke warm sex! Oh my god so funny!
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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^
I attended a training session a couple of weeks ago, I can't recall how this came up in context but a very gay bloke was describing watching the comedy channel on Foxtel and they had some kind of collection of stand up's and one was a woman who was very generously endowed in the bust. Hearing him describe how she went into the audience, shoved her tits into peoples faces and basically reverse motor boated them nearly broke me.
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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5150 
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
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swoop42 
Whatcha gonna do when he comes for you?
Joined: 02 Aug 2008
Location: The 18
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Even funnier.
Imagine the set of man boobs on him. |
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stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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Geezus Swoop.
No selfies. 
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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HAL
Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.
Joined: 17 Mar 2003
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