What made me laugh today...

[stui magpie]

Daughter went up to the holiday house in Toc on Sunday, with the sons ex and her son, my grandson, Sharknado.

Plan was to stay for a couple of days, take the kid to the park and beach and generally chill. Unfortunately it turned out pretty much what i expected.

Sharknado was, well, a sharknado. Lucky the only thing he managed to destroy was the curtains in the room he slept in. the daughter caught him before he could do any damage to himself or anything else after the little shit somehow managed to prise open the door to the built in robe which I'm storing tools in.

River didn't work, he was in the shits and his mum damn near exhausted herself after jumping in the water off the boat jetty (on the bank side), getting caught by the current and having to swim a hard 3 metres to reach land.

Daughter wanted to take sharknado to the park which is about 400m from the house, mum wasn't interested as that meant getting off her arse and putting the phone down, it would have also involved other physical activity like when sharknado predictably decided to do a bolt in the park, mum knew she had no hope of catching him.

So after less than 24 hours up there, umpteen tantrums, complaints about the heat and the 2 year old sharknado seemingly determined to exist on a diet of cheese and bacon balls and gatorade in between tantrums, they came back.

Daughter came over this morning to borrow the lawn mower, still shaking her head. I'm going up on Thursday for about a week, she's on leave so she may come up and join me for a day or two, I promised her no tantrums

[stui magpie]

So, if an alert comes out to say a missile is coming your way, you'd undoubtedly react to that but what's the best way to react to the news that it was a false alarm?

http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/after-missile-alert-confirmed-as-false-alarm-this-is-how-hawaii-celebrated/

[HAL]

Interesting deduction. How do you assume this statement holds true for me?

[stui magpie]

I didn't really laugh, but just indulged in a little schadenfreude.

I messaged one of the people who used to work for me back at Eastern. She had resigned shortly after I left, so I thought I'd check whether she'd finished up yet and how the place was.

She finished yesterday and apparently it's not a happy joint. The new ED HR was pissed off at her resigning and didn't talk to her for her last week at work, not that that bothered her, she was quite happy for the peace. Apparently the budget is badly in the red and they are now in caretaker mode with a Vic health appointee to the board in place. Looks like one of those slow moving disasters that you can see coming but can't do anything about. I can't see it turning around, I can see it ending badly.

I do feel sorry for another of my team who's now acting in my old job but, as she was moved sideways to a different manager, the ED won't speak to her except though the other manager which would be awkward all round. She's a gun and deserves better.

So glad I'm not there anymore, it was a great place to work, but i clearly got the good end of the stick when they decided to exit me.

[David]

Fake subtitles on old foreign-language movies. It's pretty juvenile, but still makes me laugh when it's done well:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k42_XuSYbhU

[think positive]

hehe not bad, not close to some of the Hitler ones though!!

[swoop42]

Hearing the word "fatberg" used on television news programs.

[Wokko]

The Obama's official portraits.

[David]

This scene from a classic work of Indian art cinema:

https://youtu.be/dLIVjhRlUAU

[think positive]

I thought you were nuts - and then they started dancing! The Indian thriller made me chuckle too!

[Jezza]

[K]

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/professor-fails-student-says-australia-isnt-a-country/article/2648828

[HAL]

Are we still talking about httpwww dotiflsciencedot comhealth-and-medicineafter-missile-alert-confirmed-as-false-alarm-this-is-how-hawaii-celebrated ?

[stui magpie]

Daughter called over this arvo to drop back some papers she borrowed, had a screw in her tyre so I gave her a hand changing it and putting on the spare.

I'll leave aside commentary on the shit jack that came with her car, but long story short when taking off the tyre I managed to scratch myself under the right eye with the screw.

Now, being over 50 I take a daily asprin which means I bleed like a stuck pig when I break the skin. Add some sweat to that and it got messy.

The daughter asked if I wanted to go clean up and she would finish the tyre change after the blood was running down my face and all over the road. Said nah, let me get the new one on and part tightened and you can finish off while I go wash up. Blood doesn't bother her.

Then the neighbour arrived. bloke in his early 30's, strapping lad, wandered over, saw my face and looked horrified.

What happened? Why don't you go and do something, you're bleeding everywhere.

me, meh, it's only blood, I'll wash up when I'm finished here.

he backed off and took off inside. I laughed, thinking "what a sook".

Mind you, once I did get the new tyre in, I went inside and had a look. It did look fairly gruesome. I've got the mo like in the avatar, but bigger now, and the blood was running down the right side of my face, through the mo, and running off the right side of the mo like a fast dripping tap.

Really should of taken a photo.

[ronrat]