Life changeing moments

[joffa corfe]

A serious discussion about life's moments which tend to change you somewhat. In my work i see sadness on a high scale every day, People dying from cancer, Aids, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, families who desert other family members because of mental illness. you go to funerals with no more than two or three people showing up. Suicides etc etc. Im sure many others on Nicks see sadness on a daily basis, i know Morrigu would as she works or has worked in intensive care wards. Every now and then you come across an incident or event and it changes you, infact can even change your whole outlook on life. In my case i noticed a young girl going through charity bins 4.30 am in the morning, being a night shift worker you tend to see some strange things happen at strange hours, i also noticed she had a suit case where she was neatly packing clothes away in, not wanting to startle her i went up to her the longest possible way, just to let her know i was there and not wanting to cause her any danger,

I struck a conversation with her, she came across as a very nice person, not bad looks and appeared to be clean in appearance, i asked what was the go with the suitcase ? no one minds you taking one or maybe two items but a whole suitcase ? she went on to explain she was homeless and very much broke and needed clothes, at this point im very sympathetic to her problems as any one of us would, then she went on to say she also needed clothers for her daughter. Now this is getting heavy, here we are 4.30am in the morning she's packing clothes away in a suitcase for her and her daughter, they are both homeless, the situation had now become incredibly sad, they were both living in a car nearby, to satisfy my wanting to believe her, i had walked past the car and in the back seat a young girl about ten years old was fast asleep.

It blew me away, and was sad and a little down for a few days. Afterwards i wondered if i should have given her money, maybe phone numbers for daytime referals....Her misfortune hit me greatly, like nothing ever before, how lucky i am to have what i've got..in a sense i reckon that incident has made me a better person.Then i felt guilty about having to witness that sadness to make me feel a better person..but i guess thats life..my outlook on many things has changed a lot!
I've never come across her again, i desperately want to see her again and hope her and daughter have lives in some type of order

[CarringbushCigar]

Geesh Joffa - youve got me messy. I need a hug.
I hope you see her soon mate.

[spoljar]

Joffa, that's a really great read Mate.

With regards to handing people money, I used to be a soft touch through my travels in Eastern Europe and our very own CDB and often handed out money to people.
I came to realise over time that handing people money does them very little good and is to a degree, counter productive.
I think the strategy of providing number for shelters etc gives them more of a tangible benefit. Through some of the child sponsorships I do today, its great to see, programs that are put in place that gives people:
a. Job Oppourtunities
b. Health Services
c. Education
and to see the actually results that these programs do rather than seeing people race to the nearest liquor store the minute you give them some cash.

Good read overall Mate.

[John Wren]

whenever i see homeless people i always think about what the circumstances were that contributed to their predicament. was it domestic violence, retrenchment, stress or the death of a loved one.

there were some well known homeless in wellington, one was an extremely wealthy man but instead chose to live on the streets and carry a bucket around and hence got the name 'bucket man'. another just carried a blanket, they called him 'blanket man' [the kiwis kept it simple!] but he never bothered anyone and happily sat on the side of the street, sometime in the middle if he wanted to get a suntan.

i'm no social worker but in the example joff gave, what is best for them? is it money? is it teaching them to fish? is it a roof over their heads? is it just letting them know that someone cares?

[Magpie Girl]

Well I wasn't sure if it was what the thread meant but I'll put in this story that has changed the way I look at life.

Last year, I was 15 at the time & an incident that happened last year has forever changed the way I look at my life & I have learnt not to ever take anything for granted again. A boy, my age, from my school that I knew lost his long battle with cancer.

I think it hit my friends a lot harder than what it did to me but I still felt a great loss. Unfortunately I didn't know him very well because I had come to this school (my current school) halfway through grade 8. Whereas a lot of my friends had been there from the beginning. I knew the boy, he was in one or two of my classes in grade 8 but I had never really spoken to him because I didn't know him very well. Some of my friends had been to primary school & had continued on to high school with him.

Throughout grade 9 he became worse, the school had some mini fund raisers to help out the family while he was receiving treatment. I wasn't in any of his classes anymore but I would still see him walking around the school & my friends would say 'hi' to him.

He had come back to school at the beginning of grade 10 & we thought he had overcome these troubles & was back & alright. But we were wrong, towards the end of the year he began to go downhill. Occasionally coming to school, maybe one day a week. As the year progressed he wasn't around much at school & we knew he was really sick, the cancer had returned & my friends were getting worried.

We were devastated when we heard that he only had 2 weeks to live. as much as my friends & I didn't want to believe it. We thought he would pull through, but this was not the case....

After 2 weeks, we were told that he had passed away. My friends were devastated & I was their shoulder to cry on. None of us could believe it, I think that most grade 10's were pretty rocked & shaken up by it, even if they didn't know or like him. A lot of my friends had known him through primary school & were really close to him.

They held a funeral for him & had invited teachers & his friends from school to go. I didn't go because I didn't feel that I should, I didn't know him & I would feel out of place. My friends were a mess & some would not come to class (instead, spending time in a special room they had set up for kids who were grieving).

This just made me sit back & have a look at my own life. Had I done what I wanted to this stage? should I be doing more? I am so lucky to have what I have....
I learnt never take a single thing for granted. You never know when your life might end. It really hit home, this kid was my age. Live life to the fullest!!

My friends & I are now proud supporters of Canteen, supporting kids with cancer.

[Didaicos]

My late grandfather used to do a lot of work for St Vinnies. One of his jobs was often just to talk to the homeless, just to have a conversation with them. Ok it wasn't perhaps "life changing" but some of them didn't even have that-someone to talk to.

[Culprit]

It's a sad sign of the times Joffa. Compassion has gone out the door for our own people. We seem hell bent on helping everyone else except our own.

My life changing moment was 10 years ago, my mum found my brother dead in his bedroom (overdose). She then developed lung cancer and died two and half months later. The doctors said the shock of finding my brother dead most likley brought it on. My ex wife at the time said I changed. No *hit sherlock. The marraige went downhill after that. lol

Jason Mcartney ex Roo and Pie said after the Bali bombings in which he nearly died but still helped others said. "It's not what you are dealt with in life; it's how you deal with it". Those words ring so true to me.


Note: The amount of homeless people is on the rise. Most move north as it's not as cold.

[John Wren]