Your best and worst Christmas songs?

John Wren · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:17 pm

in spite of my protestations towards consumerism during christmas i do enjoy the odd christmas song.

my fave are 'when a child is born' and 'mary's boy child'.

i'm glad i haven't heard 'snoopy's christmas', that was nearly the death of me in nz.

what songs do you like and dislike?

Proud Pies · Joined: 22 Feb 2003 Location: Knox-ish

wonder which category Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson's Christmas song falls into? I can't even sing it

I'll replace some of the words with pieces of fruit:

Hey Santa claus you cherry!

Where's me nectarineing bike?

I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.

I wrote you a nectarineing letter and I come to see you twice

Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me nectarineing bike.

If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked.

And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse!

You've stuffed me bloody order up

It's enough to make you spew

And I'm not the only one who's snakey

Me sisters dirty too!

(female voice)
Hey santa clause you cherry!

Where's me nectarineing pram?

You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.

'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand

I'll give you nectarineing ho ho ho

You forgot me nectarineing pram

(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts

And I'll let your nectarineing reindeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts!

You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store

And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door

And we'll say, yeah you wait for it

Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes

And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells nectarineing lies

He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright

'Cause the old nectarineing wanker Forgot me nectarineing bike.

You wait you old cherry, I'm gonna dob you in

Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your nectarineing lights out

Dave The Man · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 7:17 pm

Don't Really Care Much about Carols

HAL · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 7:20 pm

Are you a man or a woman?

Dale61 · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 7:26 pm

PP, KBW has bought out another Xmas CD since then.

If you thought 'Hey Santa' was rude, crude and uncouth, you aint heard nothing yet!

Proud Pies · Joined: 22 Feb 2003 Location: Knox-ish

Mountains Magpie · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:46 pm

Christmas Song by Jethro Tull

Quote: "Christmas spirit is not what you drink"

~Madness~ · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:52 pm

mt fave all time xmas song to the tune of we wish you a merry christmas. bob rivers is hysterical!!!

We wish you weren't living with us
We wish you weren't living with us
We wish you weren't living with us
We're not happy you're here

You drive everybody crazy
You're hopelessly fat and lazy
You're constantly in the way here
So pack up your gear

Get out!

You're feeding you face
You're taking up space
We wish you weren't living with us
We're not happy you're here

Close the refrigerator!

Correct us if we're mistaken
But those are ling distance calls you're makin'
How long do you plan on takin'
Advantage of us

Pay up!

We wish you weren't living with us
We wish you weren't living with us
We wish you weren't living with us
Get out of town

Now!

Proud Pies · Joined: 22 Feb 2003 Location: Knox-ish

oh Madness! i love it, never heard it, but will try and memorise it for Christmas day lol

David · I dare you to try Joined: 27 Jul 2003 Location: Andromeda

umm... 'I'm gonna spend my christmas with a dalek'??? Wink

pies4ever · Joined: 11 Feb 2002 Location: rosebud,vic,australia

my 3 favourite XMAS songs are:

War Is Over-John Lennon
Santa Claus You C...-Kevin Bloody Wilson
Santa Claus Is Going To Town-Kevin Bloody Wilson

the 2nd kevin bloody wilson song is a classic,if anybody hasnt heard it before,download and listen to it,i think its funnier than santa claus you c...

Didaicos · Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 9:19 am

Anyone heard the christmas song" by Scared Weird Little Guys:

We sat round the table upon Christmas day
My brother said you should all know that I'm
Going for a drive, can I borrow the truck?
By the way mom and dad I think you're both
Funny, no really, I love you to bits
Grandma yelled "Merry Christmas" and flopped out her
Tickets to a concert put on by Lue Rauls
Grand Dad stood up, and said "Look at my-"

Christmas Day! Christmas Day!
You never know what they are going to, sing!

Well we all went outside and were gazing at Venus
Someone remarked at the size of your-
-anus and Pluto and Saturn and Mars
What's that foul smell? That's just grandma's
Arsenic she keeps in a jar by the clock
She rubs some each night on your grandfather's
Corns, which are painful from shoes that don't fit
He feels relief when he sits down to-

Christmas Day! Christmas Day!
You never know what they are going to, suggest!

Well then we all went for a swim in the pool
Dad said to grandpa ya silly old
F*CKWIT! YOU'RE F*CKED! YOU F*CKED OFF WITH ME TOGS!
Ahh sh*t now I've sworn and I've f*cked up the song
Which was never ment to be this blunt
Well f*ck this get f*cked, you big pack of-

Chistmas Day! Christmas Day!
You never know what they are going to say!

Culprit · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Port Melbourne

Porky Pigs Blue Christmas, find it and have a listen.

bwphantom · Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:25 pm

Santa Rap Doug E Fresh from the Beat Street Soundtrack.

Christmas In Hollis by Run DMC.

In fact the Christmas rap album from 1987 is a goody.

Merry Christmas; The Ramones

Blink 182 I won't be home for Christmas

HAL · Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:29 pm

Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Are you really a "it"? Is that a fact. Oh, Christmas rap album from 1987 is.