Sheryl the Stalker

[luvlicca]

ummmm what about warnie or someone like that?? you know some who might get off on it lol!!

[bellastar]

shoud sheryl les out all of a sudden???

[bellastar]

he would totally get her back bad= perfect revenge!

[luvlicca]

what a perfect couple then hey!!!

[bellastar]

amy winehouse + pete doherty = perfect couple!

do you ever think some celeb couples just don't belong together? (keith and nicole? no way!)

[luvlicca]

I'm not sure about Nic and Keith. I mean they really do seem to have something going. Watching them at the Arias, I dont know. I didnt think so at first but now they are kinda growing on me as a couple lol!!!

But there are so many couples I think are just a no go zone - the perfect example for me is definitely Tom and Katie!!! That to me is just way weird!!

[bellastar]

when do you think tom is gonna battle the evil overlord of scientology, zenu?

[mel_kay39]

Yeah TomKat are pretty weird. But I reckon Seal and Heidi Klum are just odd. I mean, a supermodel and that... What does she see in him? He must be a really nice guy, cos he's nothing to look at! And tthat's not even considering that I'm not into black men, I like Will Smith, I just think Seal is yuck!

[luvlicca]

hahaha!! agree with you Mel. They are odd too!!!

[bellastar]

Sheryl the Stalker: Episode 6: Sheryl Stalks Zac Efron

After the whole Dean Geyer debacle, Sheryl the Stalker had learnt absolutely... nothing. Of course.

Sheryl was now in withdrawal mode, which was even worse than her stalking mode! Instead of breaking out in pus-filled hives, she had hallucinations and massive freakouts like Ben Cousins in LA. Or maybe that was just Sheryl’s usual demeanour.

The delusions of grandeur, however, had not returned at all. Sheryl hadn’t stalked a hot young thing in weeks and had all but lost the usual fantasies she had about her particular object of affection- the romantic dinners, long walks on the beach, the million-dollar wedding to rival every single one of J.Lo’s put together. Hey, at least the delusions of grandeur were way more interesting than Sheryl’s usual daily life which consisted of Days of Our Lives re-runs and killing the feral cats that came near her caravan with a potato peeler.

Sheryl felt another freakout coming on. She had to calm herself down. Flicking through the latest TV Hits magazine (don’t you think she’d be a little old for it by now?), she landed on a page with a picture of a certain Hollywood teen hottie that induced millions of girls into pathetic, blithering messes with just one blink of an eye. He was inoffensive and pretty, exactly the kind of fresh meat the Disney Channel would want to get their money-hungry hands on. He was like a male Hannah Montana without the washed-up country star father welching off his daughter’s fame. He, my fearful friends, was... Zac Efron! OMG!!!!!11111

The pus-filled hives started to drip like crazy and her boils burst as Sheryl licked her lips and laid eyes upon her next victim. But there was just one little problem... Vanessa Hudgens! That amateur nude model of a skank was hanging off Zac’s arm in the picture, gazing adoringly at him. Sheryl itched like a maniac as she seethed with anger, scratching at her scabby skin from the hives that were the bane of her life. Curse them!

Sheryl had to snap into action! She had to go to the set of High School Musical 3 and kidnap Zac. And waste Vanessa! and then all would fall into place...

********************************

Zac was having his make-up applied for the next scene when Vanessa came strutting over. “Oh baby, thanks for standing by me during my nude photo scandal,” she cooed. “I just have no idea how on Earth those photos got leaked!”

“Er...me neither, babe,” replied Zac. In actual fact, though, Zac the pervert had leaked them himself to Playboy Magazine for their ‘Hardcore Whores’ photo section. Well hey, the world had to know just how hot his girlfriend was!

“Hey, babe, which shade of lip gloss do you prefer?” asked Zac. “Strawberry Surprise or Peachy Pink?”

“I much prefer the peachy pink myself...” purred a rather creepy voice.

Zac and Vanessa turned around. The make-up artist smiled a seductive smirk, licking her lips and blowing her kisses at Zac.

Zac gagged. Apparently the make-up artist hadn’t waxed her upper lip, her moustache full and hearty like Boonie’s!

Only one person could be deranged enough to do that. That’s right, the make-up artist was... Sheryl!!!!!1111

“How do you like these photos, Zac?” asked Sheryl, rather disturbingly. She then proceeded to take out her very own Vanessa-style amateur nude shots and passed them to Zac. Zac squealed in fear, haunted by nightmares that would last him a lifetime, frightening images burned into his mind. One of the photos even had Sheryl’s head pasted on Vanessa’s body! Damn PhotoShop!

“Ew, you sick bitch!” screamed Vanessa. She then slapped Sheryl’s scabby face with much sting and force.

Sheryl, though, wasn’t gonna go down without a fight. Going ghetto on her arse, Sheryl proceeded to bodyslam Vanessa right into the make-up mirror, her 150kg frame suffocating Vanessa. That, and the armpit hair choking her after Sheryl forgot to shave that morning.

It took 15 security guards to throw Sheryl out of the HSM3 set. And, naturally she was never allowed to return.

Sheryl contemplated in the gutter what could have possibly gone wrong in trying to capture Zac’s heart. Was it the fact that she hadn’t shaved her armpits? Worn fluoro pink bike shorts? The horrific nude photos?

No, it was the choice of lipgloss for Zac, though Sheryl. ’I should never have chosen Peachy Pink!’

And so, the delusions of grandeur returned...







Sheryl the Stalker: Episode 7: Sheryl Stalks The Supernatural Boys (With Special Guest Appearance by Minna The Demon Hunter)

Zac Efron had escaped Sheryl’s scabby clutches, which was heartbreaking for our ‘heroine’ Sheryl.
But a relief for teenage girls worldwide!

Sheryl sighed as she habitually scratched at her hives. What celebrity wouldn’t want her stalking them? They should be honoured, dammit!

“I might as well just disappear!” cried Sheryl, melodramatically. “I’m running into the forest and becoming a wood nymph!”

And so, true to her word, Sheryl got up and left.

Was this the end of Sheryl’s reign of terror????1111

*******************************

“I swear, I saw something in the shadows!”

“Well, I didn’t see anything!”

“You’re such an ass!”

“No, you are!”

The Winchester brothers bickered like little bitches as they scanned the spooky forest for anything supernatural (pardon the crappy pun). No such luck as yet, which was strange because a spooky forest would seemingly be teeming with weirdo monsters like werewolves and gremlins and Pete Doherty.

Suddenly, there was a rustle in the bushes. Adrenaline was pumping as fears arose, hearts beating like a drum.

“Did you hear that?” whispered Dean, looking around cautiously with the torch, flashing in all directions.

“Uh...yeah,” stuttered Sam, also cautious.

Neither would admit it, but they were shitting themselves.

Then that’s when they saw it. Catching the attention of both demon hunters, they stepped quietly and carefully towards a pile of shrubbery that seemed to have a life of its own- shaking and shivering like it was possessed.

Closer and closer they stepped, waiting for the right moment to attack. Guns were raised. “One, two... Ahhh!!!!”

The light shone on a fat, convulsing creature twisting in the shrubbery, who then started screaming like a dying cat upon seeing Sam and Dean.

“Oh my God, what is it?!” exclaimed Sam.

“Its... Its... A girl?” Dean replied, confused.

The girl got up, rather disoriented and dazed on her two feet.

“Who are you?!” fumed Dean.

“Sheryl!” she spat. “What about youse two?!”

“I’m Dean, and this is my brother, Sam. What the hell are you doing here?”

“No one will let me stalk them anymore, so I ran into the forest to become a wood nymph,” cried Sheryl. “...But that’s all about to change now...”

“What do you mean?” asked Sam.

Sheryl licked her lips, scratching a stray hive on her wrist. She began to twitch. “You’ll see...” she purred.

The brothers looked at one another. They then split and raced off aimlessly into the spooky forest, a la The Blair Witch Project, screaming in horror as they realised what was to come: the ‘demon’ was going to stalk them!

As Sheryl took chase, holding out her arms (yet still very itchy), she ran deeper into the forest, catching the boys’ scent. “Come on, love me!” she screamed.

...Until Sheryl became caught in a strategically-placed bear trap. She writhed in pain as the claw-like contraption clamped painfully into her leg (and her hives).

The boys noticed and stopped running, walking over, still remaining cautious. “Thank God!” puffed Dean. “But who did this?”

“I believe I did,” interrupted a voice. Coming out of the darkness was a girl dressed head to toe in black leather, concealed well against the shadows. “I’m Minna, your fellow demon hunter,” she replied, with a certain air of cool and sophistication.

As the boys looked Minna up and down, undressing the black leather off her with their eyes, Sheryl continued to scream. Except no one really was listening, so it was practically white noise in the background.

“Fancy taking a stroll in the spooky forest with us, Minna?” Dean asked, winking rather suggestively.

The feeling was mutually. “Of course...”

And so, the demon-hunting threesome strolled away from the bloodied and hive-ridden creature, still screaming and foaming at the mouth like she had a chronic case of rabies. Who knows, Sheryl probably does have a case of rabies.

But, alas, one thing Sheryl still didn’t have, yet again, was a strapping young heart-throb willing to be stalked...

[luvlicca]

Very good work Bella!!! Well done haha!!! Cant wait for the new ones!!! Got anything else coming up??

[bellastar]

i've thought of more victims to write about, but there still a work in progress.

[bellastar]

i've thought of more victims to write about, but they're still a work in progress.

[mel_kay39]

Cool. Particularly loved the line about the weird monsters in the forest like werewolves and Pete Doherty. Classic!
Who is Sheryl going to stalk next? Wentworth Miller? Mitchell Johnson? What about Rove McManus? LOL

[luvlicca]

Mitchell Johnson would be a good one!! Right in our backyard haha!!