Sorry for intruding but....bit of assistance required

[stui magpie]

As i said, sorry for intruding but........

I went into the town for a few drinks with people I used to work with, One of them is a girl who I've known for a few years and get along well with.

She left the pub early with her new boyfriend, I left about 8:30 cos the people I was interested in talking to had mostly gone.

She called me about 9 to see if I was still at the pub. her new boyfriend had just broken up with her and if I was still at the pub she would come back for a drink but (as I was on the train 3/4 the way home) she would go home.

I'm lousy in these kind of situations, I told her that she was an inteligent attractive girl (and she is), to keep her chin up and that if she wants to have a coffe or a chat to call me and I'll make the hour train trip just to catch up.

Now. This is where I need the advice. I've known her for about 5 years and we get along really well without ever going past friends.

Is she calling me because she trusts me/feels comfortable with me as a shoulder to cry on and have a drink or is there a bit more to it.?

I like her and wouldn't mind seeing what happened if we got together. To clarify, I'm early 40's, she's mid 30's and I'm not looking for a 1 nighter, I'd rather stay friends so I'm interested in........ddamn, can't say it. Lets just say I wouldn't want to hurt her. She has a talent for dating assholes, she doesn't deserve any more crap.

How long should I leave it before I call or Txt her just to see how she is without asking her out? Should I ask her out or would that be a betrayal of friendship Do I just ask her for a coffee as friends and follow instinct from there? Am I on drugs and she isn't interested at all?

HELP.

[i_luv_licca]

Dude, i rebounded with one of my really close friends, and it was a very, very bad idea!!!!

After it, i was like, this should not have happened at all!!! Then things went awkward between us...but like a few months later, and we're good friends again.

This might not be the case for u though, but send her a msg saying 'Just checking up on ya to see that your alright. I'm always here for a chat if needed' or something.....

Good luck :)

[qldpie02]

i reckon it depends how close u r as friends to whether she wanted a shoulder to cry on or not...like if ur super close then probably just wanted a shoulder to cry on, although most girls normally turn to their closest girlfriends to cry to lol

if u guys joke around a lot usually you should say something like "man u have a habit of dating (enter chosen word here lol), should should date someone like me instead" and just smile and see how she reacts and if she freaks just say i said SOMONE like me, not me....geeze and make light of it - its a good way to get out of it, and see whats shes thinking!

absolutely send her a text and see how shes going and if she wants to talk or have coffee.
also if she was going out with guy only for a little while is totally different to if they were going out for like years.

hope it all goes well

[magpiesgirl]

Just straight out ask her-nothing ventured,nothing gained

[stui magpie]

Thanks for the advice, we're not really really close but get along pretty well. I txt her yesterday morning just to see if she was OK. She called me back later, but I couldn't talk much cos I was driving on the freeway and don't have a handsfree.

She was cool, sounded a little embarassed at having called me and started to try to explain. Told her it was all cool, no worries, and I'll see her again in a week or so or next time I'm in the city.

Play it by beer from here on I think. Thanks again.

[melissa]

lol Tess...
Stu, I think it really depends on how long they were going out for. If it was a few months, hey, go for it, she'll probably be flattered at the very least. The one thing a girl likes when she's been dumped is to find out another guy likes her. It's a big ego boost! If they have been going out forever, though, you need to be careful. She could be just wanting a shoulder to cry on and a guy to tell her she's not a dog, without wanting or feeling pressured to jump into bed with him. You've done the right thing. The balls in her court, now, so to speak.

[John Wren]

i'm not sorry for intruding but would like to say that it appears you handled that really well. though i am the type of fella who would happily lend a shoulder but not realise it was something more they were after if that was the case.

[magpies_gurl_forever82]