What pisses you off?

[David]

Thanks, Morrigu and Mugwump. I met up with the editor the other day and the good news is that the new job starts around the same time as the other one finishes, so perhaps things will be more manageable than I feared.

[think positive]

I'll take the bait.
Who do you think is looking after Ingmar while David works?

Before you put the missus up for judgement David, how long are her shifts? What's the percentage break up of housework? Paying bills? remembering when everything happens? Cooking dinner? Staying up all night fretting over a feverish child? In what way do you think she's isn't pulling her weight? Since you have a child, you know just how full on it can be. I don't need the answer, but maybe it's time for a family powwow. Cheers

[luvdids]

[think positive]

Of course it can be shared. But is it?

Maybe the total divvy is closer to 50/50. There is only one side of the story here, before taking a shot at the other party I'd like the full story

Paid work, unpaid work, who is to judge the value?

Was it a mutual decision to raise Ingmar without childcare? Reading back David acknowledges the realities of raising a child.

A partnership is two people working together to make the life they want, not necessarily counting dollar for dollar earned.

These days a fair few dads are Mr Mum, do they get judged so harshly?

[luvdids]

[think positive]

[luvdids]

Wasn't judgement, was disbelief that one person would be working so many hours.

<snip>

[Morrigu]

[HAL]

What do you look like?

[David]

I don't mean to make Lola sound bad here. As you say, TP, the work she does at home is very hard in its own right, although it does bug me when other people point this out in a way that suggests they've forgotten that my home time is no more relaxing (perhaps a little understandable if their point of reference is men from older generations who more or less did get home from work and put their feet up). So, yeah, if Ingmar has a fever in the middle of the night, I'm just as likely to be the one getting up to take care of him. I'm giving him breakfast and a shower most mornings, and putting him to bed at night on the nights I'm at home. I'm still doing my fair share of household chores.

At the end of the day, though, our current situation means that she is spending a lot more time at home than I am � and, frankly, it's driving her crazy. As you say, LD, the situation just isn't sustainable. She needs to get a better job not just so I can work less, but so that she can also get out of the house more. It's a win-win as far as I can tell: she never wanted to be a housewife and it's not a dynamic I'm particularly comfortable with either. Sharing the work load and domestic load more equally will surely make both of us a lot happier.

[think positive]

[stui magpie]

Spending time with the kid is important but the actual work involved by a stay home parent is overrated.

I worked full time and had 2 kids at home. The ex would look after the kids (sort of) but the contrubution to hiusework consisted of making mess. So I had to do it all.

If i could work full time, and do the cooking, washing and housework in basically an hour a night plus some time on weekends, dont try to tell me it's as demanding being a stay home parent as having a full time job. I don�t buy it.

[Wokko]

A stay at home parent should never equate what they do with full time employment, but ultimately it's in a childs best interests to have a parent looking after them rather than various inept, uncaring childcare workers.

Being a stay at home parent lets the kids have a life outside of school/care, allows them playdates and sports and if you're a little diligent, to keep a household in decent shape and repair. (results may vary) I've never understood why women pushed so hard to enter the workforce like it's some magical place that men went to during the day. Whoever managed to convince us to outsource childcare and trudge off into shit jobs for the same economic outcome as 1 job had previously (supply and demand is an undeniable economic rule, even in labour) should be dragged out in the street and shot.

[HAL]

Oops. Too much data.

[npalm]