What pisses you off?

[HAL]

Try asking the Milk Mystic.

[Morrigu]

Senseless violent deaths of women and children at the hands of the men in their lives - partners mainly past and fathers

What as a society are we teaching our male folk! -women are possessions - mine regardless of my behaviour , children are possessions who can be used to gain the ultimate revenge for rejection?

Or has the " family law system" let males down to the point where they think they have no voice and no options and so take such extreme action? ( not that such action can ever be accepted)

I spent 12 years doing the legal work for my brother who had custody of his daughter from age 8 months - I sat in Family Law Court and experienced the attitudes of the services in particular the Child Support Agency towards males trying to do the right thing - so often they were met with combative, incorrectly judgemental and not remotely supportive staff!

This doesn't excuse the violence the killing not for one moment but the balance is not right IMHO - we need to discuss this, we need to address this , we need to stop the violence and the killing!

[David]

I agree with you, Morrigu�it's an uncomfortable but vital topic that urgently needs to be discussed. What's going wrong with these men? Clearly the unspeakable violence is just the tail end of a much longer and more disturbing process. It goes without saying that happy, well-adjusted individuals wouldn't do stuff like this, even when faced with the stress and frustration of a broken family�something's going wrong somewhere.

[Tannin]

All of those things, Morrigu.

But I'll tell you what pisses me off: we get this constant campaigning about violence against women (which is fine and I fully support it) but never, ever do we hear anything about the much bigger problem of violence against men. By far the majority of victims of violence are men, but nothing is ever done about it.

I suggest to you that we will never deal with either of these massive problems (which are in fact both aspects of one single problem) if we keep on pretending that one of them doesn't exist. By doing that - by ignoring more than half of the problem - we just make it even harder to deal with the smaller part of it. Apart from anything else, by focusing on violence only against the less-frequently attacked group of victims, we turn the debate into a battle between the sexes, men against women, which is completely wrong-headed. It is a battle against violence, not against men, or women, and until we recognise the real enemy the problem will never get any better.

[David]

Although it's cold comfort for the victims, it's hardly coincidental that the vast majority of violent offenders (against both men and women) are male. So, there is some defence for looking at this as a gendered phenomenon.

Sure, we should talk about all violence, and I agree with you that there's a massive double standard regarding male victims of violence (they're mostly expected to just "man up" and "get over it"), but we need to be able to discuss different kinds of violence. Domestic violence is different to street violence and needs to be tackled in a different manner.

[Wokko]

There are many, many male victims of female domestic violence and child victims of violence are more often abused by a female. Male victims (and their children) have nowhere and nobody to turn to and are met with an aggressive and uncaring system that is solely tailored to women. I talked to an old cop who told me that domestic violence is almost entirely reciprocal, usually involves alcohol and is instigated at least as often by the woman. He said despite this they still usually arrest/remove the male.

Things are so bad that women who murder end up walking free by simply claiming they are victims of abuse. There is NO excuse for violence beyond immediate self defence or the defence of others and by disenfranchising males, we (as a society) create bitter, lost individuals. Of course there are 'bad eggs'; men who will beat their wives and girlfriends, but none of the campaigns get through to those people, all they do is alienate good men (the vast, vast majority) and create a victim mentality amongst women.

This is another of those issues I'm sure is being handled wrongly by society and government/law but damned if I can see a solution. Starting custody disputes at 50/50 like Howard instituted was a good start but that fell by the wayside.

[1061]

I do not defend what these men do let me get this clear and IMO they should be jailed for life or better still given a green needle.

BUT ......

Is the current epidemic of ultimate family violence a by product of the entitled/empowered generation?
Men/dads feel entitled to equal access while Women/mums feel empowered to take that access away. It seems people no longer know when to shut the hell up and defuse the anger in a discussion that is going no where and getting more heated instead people feel it's their right to keep expressing themselves no matter what. It's great people(usually mothers) get to express themselves so forcibly these days but every action we make has a reaction and people need to start owning these actions(words) and the consequences of their words. Again that is in no way excusing what these men have done but I am sure we have all been in heated exchanges where we have pulled ourselves back and stfu because we can see it escalating.

Kids have two parents most of the time and BOTH need to remember that kids need their parents.

[think positive]

could it be that women can now walk away from these situations, where as in the past, like my mum, there was nowhere to go, no one to help, and nothing she could do to stop the violence and protect us. if she had left, would we now all be dead?

im saying things haven't changed that much, its just more out there.

some people shouldn't have kids.

and everyone needs to learnt to control their temper and respect others.

the power balance needs to be equal, I take my hat off to any couple that achieves that. the games around it are not fun when your the one at the wrong end of the balance, even if its only slightly bent

I read a quote today that sums up my feelings on parenting completely: "Children are not a distraction from more important work, they are the most important work"

I know a lot of people that need to realize that.

all the money and stuff in the world wont mean squat if "im gunna be like you dad, you know im gunna be like you" is running through your head when your old and grey.

[1061]

People don't read other people well anymore they are too preoccupied with their own right to express themselves rather than observing how others are reacting to their rant.

[think positive]

respecting each others rights and opinions

all gone

[Morrigu]

The mother of murdered Melbourne boy Luke Batty has revealed she is receiving hate mail for taking a stand against family violence.

Rosie Batty said she received a letter yesterday blaming her for the death of her 11-year-old son, who was stabbed by his father after cricket practice in a crime that shocked the nation two months ago.

But despite the nasty content of the mail, Ms Batty says it is important for her to speak out about the hatred.

"It (the letter) basically says they hope no man gets caught up with a woman like me because I'm a disgrace," Ms Batty told the Herald Sun.

"What the writer is basically saying is, �What did you do to him? I�d like to hear his side. What did you do to cause it?'

"But you can never do anything to cause family violence, because it�s never acceptable, but that very prominent attitude is exactly what we�re facing in the community."

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/2014/04/23/18/45/luke-batty-s-mother-receiving-hate-mail

WOW just wow - personally I think Rosie Batty response to a hideous personal tragedy has been amazing!

[1061]

There is always two sides, what the father did obviously is indefensible but yeah I'd like some journo to find out what flicked the dads switch.

Her hurt is real but these (mostly) Men don't just become monsters in a few seconds it usually is the end of a long drawn out dispute where the mothers have all the aces and often pull one out to shut the men down.

[think positive]

I don't care what she did, even if that's true, kill her, but not the kids. You don't kill kids, and you really really really don't kill your own kids.

It wasn't like he didn't plan it, he stabbed him to death, think of the pain, the horror of that. Your own father.

Just like the prick that threw that terrified little girl off the west gate in front of her siblings, and the shit that drowned his 3 sons.

You fight any thoughts of that, or you just kill yourself but you don't hurt your own kids.

Flick the switch? I'll happily flick the $�$%^%%$ switch on all those men.

You know how many kids out there are abused? How many beaten to within an inch of their lives? Every $�$%^%%$ day. Those parents got switches too? How about the woman in America that drowned her kids because they were in the way of her new life?

Every time I see like battys mum on telly I'm amazed at her courage. She still has compassion for her ex, the suffering and illness she knew he had. By all accounts she did everything she could to allow him to have a relationship with his son dispute his mental problems.

[watt price tully]

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