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stui magpie 

Oh the Premiership's a cakewalk


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: preparing the Pilosocereus suppository

PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 4:33 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

In the spirit of the original post in this thread, I give you road rules to live by, inspired by driving up to Toc and back this weekend and many others over the past couple of years

1. Keep left unless overtaking.

It's not fkn hard. There's these big signs on the freeway that say it, if you can't read them you shouldn't be driving. If you think you're special and they don't apply to you, you're likely one of those douche nozzle pedestrians who walks around staring at their phone.

Here's a simple way to tell if you're doing it right. If you're in the right lane on a freeway and there's no cars on your left, get in the left lane dingwidget

If there are cars on your left, cars in front of you and cars behind you, you're doing OK as long as your moving past the ones on the left. If there's cars on your left and behind you but no one in front of you, either speed up and get past or merge to the left you pickle brained pus receptacle and let others get past.

You, you self absorbed cretin, with your cranium constantly inserted in your own colon are the reason I want 20mm cannons installed in my cars.

2. Overtaking speeds

This should be really simple. If you're overtaking someone, don't slow down while doing it, if you're being overtaken, don't speed up.

Pick a speed you're comfortable with and sit on it. There's a thing called Cruise Control now, you may have heard of it. If you go to overtake a vehicle, why the howling harpies would you get half way past and slow down and sit bedside them for 3km?

Similarly, speeding up when being overtaken. Geez Louise, I've been gaining on you for the however long, I've only had you in sight for the last couple of clicks and now I'm overtaking you. That means I've been driving faster. It doesn't mean my car is better or faster (although it probably is), it's not a personal attack on your fragile ego, the only point you're proving by speeding up is that if you were any fkn dumber you should be stood in a pot of dirt and watered twice a week.

3. Blinkers before brakes.

Again, it's not fkn hard. The idea of blinkers is that you use them to let other driver know what's going on in your tiny fkn mind, ie that you intend to turn left or right. You should use the indicator well before you need to brake, to signal your intention so I know which side to pass you on. I can't read your fkn mind, and if I could it would be a story written by a 6 year old in crayon that is about Chicken McNuggets, you Mcpharquit.

So, if you're diving on the road, have some consideration for others and just GTF out of my way.

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Bucks5 Capricorn

The Swoop Squad


Joined: 23 Mar 2002


PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 5:15 pm
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You missed one.

If you are towing a caravan and there is a long line of cars behind you, do not speed up when there is an overtaking lane. Let as many vehicles as possible pass you.

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stui magpie 

Oh the Premiership's a cakewalk


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: preparing the Pilosocereus suppository

PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 5:30 pm
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Just don't speed up when you get to the overtaking lane, unless you're overtaking, whether you have a caravan or not,

I see smegma sniffers like that all the time, cruise along 10-15km under the limit until they hit an overtaking lane, then suddenly speed up. Evil or Very Mad

Also, don't pull onto a highway when there's cars coming from behind you, unless you plan on getting up to a decent speed quickly.

I had one geriatric cum stain pull onto the highway in his Winebago just east of Strathmerton and leisurely wind it up to 80kmh in a 100 zone while I had to stand on the brakes and sit behind him wishing for those 20mm cannons.

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swoop42 Virgo

The Flash


Joined: 02 Aug 2008
Location: The 22

PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 10:03 pm
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The sooner they design a robot that can provide a gobby to a male driver the quicker we will be able to stem the tide of road rage incidents.

Of course swerving off the side of a road at climax may prove a problem of it's own.

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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 10:31 pm
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um,

err,

thats a nick the pie man comment!

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npalm 



Joined: 01 May 2005


PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 7:41 am
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stui magpie wrote:
.......
If there's cars on your left and behind you but no one in front of you, either speed up and get past or merge to the left you pickle brained pus receptacle and let others get past.......



So, if it's a 110k speed limit, and the left lane is full of people travelling at 100k and I want to do 110k (or maybe 115) so I'm in the right lane, but I've got an angry Stui behind me wanting to do 120k, I've got to move over to the left lane (and be forced to slow down to 100k) or risk getting some cannon fire up the clacker?

Is the right hand lane now reserved for whomever wants to break the speed limit by the greatest amount?

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luvdids Sagittarius



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Location: work

PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 8:16 am
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npalm wrote:
stui magpie wrote:
.......
If there's cars on your left and behind you but no one in front of you, either speed up and get past or merge to the left you pickle brained pus receptacle and let others get past.......



So, if it's a 110k speed limit, and the left lane is full of people travelling at 100k and I want to do 110k (or maybe 115) so I'm in the right lane, but I've got an angry Stui behind me wanting to do 120k, I've got to move over to the left lane (and be forced to slow down to 100k) or risk getting some cannon fire up the clacker?

Is the right hand lane now reserved for whomever wants to break the speed limit by the greatest amount?


Well, no, because if they're doing 100 on the left and you're doing 110/115, you'd be overtaking. Which is the purpose of the right lane.
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npalm 



Joined: 01 May 2005


PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 11:52 am
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^ agreed lover of Dids, but if the traffic is medium to heavy and the left hand lane is continuously full, then there should be no problem with me sitting on the speed limit in the right hand lane forever.

What pisses me off, are the turkeys who think that the overtaking lane is the speeding lane and want to do more than 10k over the limit and expect me to push into the lefthand lane to get out of their way.

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roar 



Joined: 01 Sep 2004


PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 12:32 pm
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npalm wrote:
Is the right hand lane now reserved for whomever wants to break the speed limit by the greatest amount?


Yes. The rule is Keep Left Unless Overtaking.

Not sure if it's just Melbourne and Victoria, or if the rest of Australia is as bad, but we have the worst drivers and driving culture that I have come across, anywhere.

Can anyone tell me why it is so hard for people to get to 100km/h when they want to merge onto the freeway?

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stui magpie 

Oh the Premiership's a cakewalk


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: preparing the Pilosocereus suppository

PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 5:36 pm
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npalm wrote:
stui magpie wrote:
.......
If there's cars on your left and behind you but no one in front of you, either speed up and get past or merge to the left you pickle brained pus receptacle and let others get past.......



So, if it's a 110k speed limit, and the left lane is full of people travelling at 100k and I want to do 110k (or maybe 115) so I'm in the right lane, but I've got an angry Stui behind me wanting to do 120k, I've got to move over to the left lane (and be forced to slow down to 100k) or risk getting some cannon fire up the clacker?

Is the right hand lane now reserved for whomever wants to break the speed limit by the greatest amount?


No, if the left lane is all on 100 and you're doing 110 plus, at least you're overtaking so I'll hold fire.

Having said that, I normally sit on 115-116 on the Hume. I occasionally get someone up my clacker who's really pushing it so I get out of their way as soon as I can.

As long as the cops get a supply of people doing 120+ they tend to ignore me. Wink

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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 8:04 pm
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roar wrote:
npalm wrote:
Is the right hand lane now reserved for whomever wants to break the speed limit by the greatest amount?


Yes. The rule is Keep Left Unless Overtaking.

Not sure if it's just Melbourne and Victoria, or if the rest of Australia is as bad, but we have the worst drivers and driving culture that I have come across, anywhere.

Can anyone tell me why it is so hard for people to get to 100km/h when they want to merge onto the freeway?


That last one drives my hubby nuts!

I agree with worst drivers thing! Especially truckies! And why why why are people to selfish to do the zipper! What’s the hurry?

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You never look good trying to make someone else look bad. Disrespecting & insulting other to prove your point just shows how shaky your own position is.
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Skids Cancer



Joined: 11 Sep 2007
Location: Joined 3/6/02 ... aka Assassin member #175

PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:53 pm
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Ya gota love South Hedland. Leave the pool this arvo, turn at a roundabout with about 6-8 lovely little 'local' kids on their bikes n scooters waiting to cross the road and half of them spit on my car. Oldest one woulda been 9. Charming kids.
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stui magpie 

Oh the Premiership's a cakewalk


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: preparing the Pilosocereus suppository

PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 6:23 pm
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I fkn hate paying bills, so I avoid it until I can't.

Just paid the rego on the redline, rates (for the quarter), 2 water bills, phone/internet/foxtel and the gas. Over $2k drained. Sad Mad

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Skids Cancer



Joined: 11 Sep 2007
Location: Joined 3/6/02 ... aka Assassin member #175

PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 11:40 pm
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Call outs!

Day 12 on-site, I just get into bed, been up since 0300hrs (went for an 8k jog), had a big day that finished with 4 x 250m in the pool... and I get a high level alarm at the camp Waste Water plant.
Sitting here now, manually filling other tanks after adjusting cycle times etc. You mob have no idea what's involved in keeping; the water coming out of your taps... and the shit going down your drains! Not a $$%^%%$ clue!

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Pies4shaw 



Joined: 08 Oct 2007


PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 3:55 am
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Well, if they’re bringing my water from, and sending my waste to, the Pilbara, there are certainly some questions to be asked.
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