John Howard's New Citizenship Test

[member34258]

[nomadjack]

Don't confuse the government's bullshit rhetoric on asylum seekers and this latest crap about citizenship rights with its immigration policy member34258. The proposed changes don't affect the rights to refugee status for the East Timorese example you provide, and the assumption would be that after four years when the person is finally able to gain citizenship that they can speak English. Personally, I don't see the need for the changes (presumably they are designed to give Howard another bullshit race issue to run on at the next election), but equally, I don't have any real problem with them provided that resources for new migrants, particularly refugees are expanded to enable them to achieve things like economic independence and English language proficiency, which can actually enhance their contribution to society and sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, these resources won't be forthcoming because the government doesn't really give a shit about the difficult many immigrants (again particularly refugees) have getting established in Australia.

To be fair though, if you actually look at the figures for Australia's immigration intake under Howard you will see that despite popular misconceptions it is actually no more restrictive than under Labor. There has been some tightening of the family union provisions, but this is balanced by an expansion in business and skilled immigation. The actual diversity in the country of origins of migrants has not been narrowed -ie there has been no return to the disgustingly discriminatory 'White Australia' policy.

This is not to excuse Howard and his arsehole mates from their lowest common denominator use of race as a divisive political influence since 1996. But be fair, at least acknowlege that in respect to immigration policy, the weasel while talking the talk, has not walked the walk.

[Dale61]

The latest draft.

2007 Australian Citizenship test

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term 'died in the @rse'?

2. What is a “bloody little beauty”?

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'

5. Macca, Chooka and Wozza are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person, on average, consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

6. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
b) You're going home in the back of a ?
c) Fair crack of the ?

7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss

8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?

14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?

15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?

18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?

19. Who would you like to crack on to?

20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?

22. What does “sinkin p*ss at a mates joint” and “getten para” mean?

[Culprit]

The latest draft is perfect Dale. lol

[stui magpie]

LOL, I like em both.

Only concern is with the Slab. Don't some states call them a "carton"?

Ahhh. David, when trying to recall these things, there's a simple trick.

24 cans in a slab; 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not.

[David]

Lmao, nice work Dale.

lol Stui. Been a while since I've put money in for a slab...

[Piethagoras' Theorem]

Slab is common currency in the building industry. I see Jimmys have taken over as the new $50 note lol.

[stui magpie]

You must deal with the younger blokes Franki. The blokes I know would riot if the boss didn't make sure the esky was full of cold green cans well before knock off time.

I got a mate to project manage the extension on my house a couple of years ago. He was off work with a badly broken leg, so I got him to organise and supervise subbies for me.

All he wanted in payment was for me to keep my beer fridge stocked with tins.