The Plot Sickens

[luvlicca]

love having strauchnie it. very good.
keep going!!

[bellastar]

please write more!!!!! i desperately need to know what happens next! my life depends on it!!!!!

[melissa]

your life depends on it? lol okay...

[melissa]

I'll write one tonight. Does anyone have any idea how to post without having to log in again after? i just typed out a heap of stuff and it's disappeared! Went forward, went backward, couldn't find the bloody thing! Arrrgggghhhh!!!!

[bellastar]

oh my God! you what!!?? just log in before you start writing. I usually write in Microsoft Works, then copy and paste it in the reply box before sending! Quick get it back! I have to read it now!

[bellastar]

oh my God! you what!!?? just log in before you start writing. I usually write in Microsoft Works, then copy and paste it in the reply box before sending! Quick get it back! I have to read it now!

[melissa]

Strauchnie tried to move but his legs wouldn't let him. The train was coming and he had to be under it. It was his destiny. Nothing ever worked out for Strauchnie. It was better that he met his maker, and kicked him in the nuts! No, he was going to be a man about this for the first time in his life. He'd toilet paper God's house instead!
But the train rushed by, and Strauchnie lived. He breathed a sigh of relief, got a whiff of fresh air mixed with the vomit on the track beside him, and promptly passed out.

Leelee couldn't believe her ears. Jennifer was sitting in front of her, telling her that she loved her work, darlink, and that she wanted Leelee to help organise a charity fashion parade, starring the usual suspects, Taz, Paul Licuria, Brodie... maybe even Sean Rusling! And Leelee would have to help them go and pick out the clothes that were being donated to the parade. Hard work if you can get it. She was speechless. She just managed to squeeze out a 'Thanks' before the ever-busy Jennifer had another conference call and had to shoo her subordinate out of the office.
Leelee was on cloud nine. Not only did she have the job of her dreams (well, nearly, the actual job of her dreams was team masseus, but anyhow, you take what you can get) but she was about to go on a "date" with Ryan. Until she turned the corner and spotted Marcy getting awfully up close and personal with the man himself!
He was early, apparently, and Marcy was taking full advantage of the fact that Leelee hadn't shown up for her date. The backstabbing cow was rubbing Ryan's arm and saying something flirty, because he laughed an awkward laugh and then leaned in, as she whispered sweet nothings in his ear. I have to stop this, Leelee thought. But how? If I storm in now, I'm only going to look jealous. That bitch! Leelee recalled how Jennifer had told her that Marcy had wanted her position but Jennifer couldn't stand her so she advertised internally instead. It was just her good fortune that Leelee saw the job ad on the noticeboard before vindictive Marcy had the chance to rip it off, she'd said. She wouldn't put it past her.
And now the heinous cow was after her man!
While Leelee stood fuming, Marcy lead Ryan away down the hall.
Leelee blinked away a tear. He probably thinks I didn' t really want to go with him anyway, she thought. I didn't bother turning up on time. I've got to do something to show him that I'm interested. But what?!

Pinky and the Brain were heading over to Edwin Flack oval to watch training. Jen had her new Bole sunglasses on so that no one could see who she was perving at, as they had those mirrored lenses on the outside. Total privacy. It was brilliant. Lisa had gone the whole hog and decided on a new look. No more singlets and ultra short minis for her. She had also got caramel foils put in her shoulderlength hair. With her new knee-high boots she'd seen while out shopping, a loose, flowy bo-ho top and long skirt she looked as classy as her best friend had ever seen her. She even had a plan of her own. She was going to interview Travis for a new thread on Nick's. Get to know the players, she was calling it.
It actually wasn't a bad idea. Jen thought Lisa had undergone more than just an outward change over the last few days. It was as if she was actually thinking about things instead of acting first and regreting it later.
She waved at Emily and Jade, a couple of regulars at training who she knew from high school. They waved back. Jade didn't mind them. They weren't bitchy like some of the girls who thought they had a God-given right to be at the oval over and above everyone else. Like Jason and Cameron's girlfriends. She glared at them accusingly. Sure, their boyfriends were footballers but were they so hot shot? Jason was on the verge of asking to be traded because he believed he was being shafted by Mick Malthouse, and Cameron spent more time in the icebaths recovering from shoulder injuries than he did on the footy field. Not his fault, of course, but that didn't mean their girlfriends had to be so mean-spirited towards herself and Lisa. Who was making her way toward Travis, clipboard in hand. Good on you, girl, Jen thought. You go for it.

Nicole and Cameron's girlfriend Lindsay, were sitting on the grass, watching their boyfriends practice goalkicking. 'Hey, look at this, Linds, will ya? Little tramp's trying to get her claws into Trav now. Oh my Gawd, will you look what she's wearing? Hasn't anyone told that poor soul that Bo-ho is so, like yesterday?'
'Apparently not', sniffed Lindsay, who was dapper in Calvin Klein jeans, a tiny-tee, clutching a $250 Prada handbag. At least she knew what good fashion sense was. It was easy when you had Daddy's credit card.
'There is a line between supporting and stalking, you know. Those two ferals crossed it at birth. They just don't know when to quit. Especially that one. Do you know she actually tried it on Cam one night last year? We were at a nightclub. God knows how she managed to get in. We've got to teach her a lesson, Linds. Or she'll give Trav a dose of the Clap'.
'Has she got the Clap?' Lindsay asked, wide-eyed.
'I don't know! Probably! But she's not going to ruin that poor boy. I'm going to make sure of it'.
'How?'
'Leave it to me. I'll think of something'.
Little did Nicole know but Emily, walking casually behind them, heard the whole conversation. Feeling indebted to nobody, she was tempted just to let it go. But a vindictive streak in her made her want to tell Pinky and the Brain that Nicole had it in for them. Nicole had crossed blades with Em before. Oh, they went way back. But she was in two minds. Should she just mind her own business and let nature take it's course, or put an end to this before it got ugly? Em actually liked having a moral dilemma on her hands. Beat what she usually thought about. And he was on his way across the field, waving to her. Christ, he's cute, she thought. Why can't I get him out of my head?'

Jen was watching Heath as usual. This was getting interesting. His girlfriend had just pouted, stormed off and left, after a heated arguement Jen could almost hear from where she sat. She didn't dare go over and talk to him. In the mood he was in, he'd likely bite her head off. But she didn't mind admiring him from afar. She was getting good at that. She watched him take a water bottle out of his bag, put it on the bench and pull off his t-shirt, wiping the back of his neck with it. Jen thanked the Lord Almighty for the show she was getting. Droplets of water ran down his cheek and hit his gorgeous chest. She was in heaven. She pinched herself. Ouch. Nope, not dead! Then he put the bottle down and turned in her direction. Before she could pretend she wasn't watching, he saw her and grinned. She thought she would die with embarrassment. Then she realised her yap was still hanging open from the slow motion peepshow she'd been witness to, and sheepishly closed it before she caught any flies.
I've just got to find a way to talk to him, she thought. Now he's caught me perving, it's not going to be easy. I'm liable to make a complete twat of myself. God he's cute! She found that she even thought the freckles were sexy. Especially the light sprinkling under his blue eyes. And he'd lost the puppy fat from a couple of years ago. She just had to make a better impression next time. But how?!

Will Jen manage to talk to Heath Shaw?
Will Pinky get sucked into Nicole and Lindsay's evil vortex?
Will Strauchnie ever find happiness at another club?
All this and more next time, on "The Plot Sickens"

[bellastar]

once again, a brilliant episode! can't wait for the next one! man, the skanks are really coming out of the woodwork now! and i'm glad that strauchanie did not go to that big pub in the sky! oh, and most importantly- where am i? i assumed i was, like, an integral part of this story, the protagonist! (just kidding!)

[leelee]

awww leelee got shunned! stupid cow i will get her back... fish sauce in her radiator! haha

[luvlicca]

hahahahaha!!!
i havent been mentioned yet either, and neither has paul. its all good!! we must be having hot sex and not come up for air yet!! hahahaha

[melissa]

Patience, patience! All will be revealed. Yadie i think i mentioned your name in Ep 3 and you will come into it. Bella and licca, you two are fashion parade ppl and will have the best job of helping the guys get dressed. Hehe. Plenty of opportunity for flirting there.

[melissa]

Episode 4

“Everybody was kung-fu fighting…”

Leelee got to work on Wednesday with a heavy heart. She just didn’t know how she was going to face the day knowing Marcy probably went for drinks with Ryan instead of her. She had never had such vitriolic feelings of hatred and jealousy before. Damn you, bitch, she thought, I was supposed to be there. Not you with your nails so long you could pick your nose and wipe your arse at the same time!
She was in this frame of mind, sitting stewing at her weak excuse for a desk as she typed up a letter for Jennifer, when Ryan tapped on her window. She looked up and for the first time, didn’t feel that funny flip-flop in her stomach at the mere sight of him. She was too angry and hurt.
Reluctantly, she slid the glass door aside. ‘Hi’. She said, not even trying to fake enthusiasm. He leaned down, as the window was set at five feet and he was a solid six foot three. ‘Did I do something wrong? How come you didn’t turn up yesterday? I was waiting for you’.
She was on the verge of telling him she’d seen him with Marcy. But that would seem… like she was jealous. Forget the fact that that was the truth. He couldn’t know.
‘I’m really, really sorry about that’, she lied, feeling like crap all the while. ‘Jennifer gave me the job of organising a fashion parade for charity. You guys are going to be the models. Well, she suggested Brodie, Taz and Paul anyway’.
‘Yeah, they’ve had a bit of experience. So I really didn’t do anything wrong?’
‘Uh… No’. She took a deep breath. ‘Marcy said she ran into you though. So I know you were waiting. And I’m really sorry. She didn’t even bother to come and tell me’.
He bit his lip. Looked as guilty as hell. ‘Actually, Marcy asked me to the pub for a drink with her. I thought… I don’t know; I was disappointed. I thought you weren’t interested’.
He looked so down in the dumps her heart went out to him. ‘I’m really sorry. I did want to go. I promise’.
‘Okay. How about this afternoon?’
‘All right. I’ll make sure I’m there before Marcy is’.
He laughed. ‘You’re on’.

The gym was absolutely deserted. Just the way Em liked it. Daisy was already hard at it, punching the bejesus out of a bag in the far corner. She didn’t let him know she was there yet. It was too much fun; watching him skip around the bag like a boxer, his blonde hair bouncing, sweat glistening on his shoulders. But she was sprung when he skipped around to face the door. ‘Hi’, he panted, ‘Lazy Sod! I’ve been here half an hour already’.
‘Oh, goody for you! I had to work! Hey, Daise, what do you reckon we practice some karate? I’ve got a grading tonight and I need a punching bag’.
He jogged up and down for a moment. ‘Hardy-har-har. Alright, I’ll practice with you, but no aiming for the family jewels, huh?’
‘I wouldn’t dream of it!’ Em said, pulling off her tracksuit top to reveal another figure-hugging crop top. She liked the way his eyes went right to her toned tummy and travelled up, his cheeks going red when he realised he was checking her out again.
‘So, let’s go!’ he said, mostly to break the tension. ‘What are you standing around for?’
‘Jesus you’re a pushy piece of work’, she teased. ‘I’m getting there! Got to warm up first’.
After a quick warm-up they faced each other on the mat, like two prize-fighters sizing each other up before the bell rings to start the match. He wiped sweat from his upper lip with his wrist, and eyed her warily. Not being much of a martial artist himself, he wasn’t used to watching his opponent to figure out what their first move would be. So he didn’t expect it when she lunged in, tripped him and pinned him on his back to the mat. Her face was mere inches away from his. They looked into each other’s eyes. She thought she never wanted to kiss anyone quite so much as she wanted to kiss Dale right now. He wasn’t asking her to get off him, either. That had to be a good thing. She liked where she was, just fine. His chest rose and fell under hers, and his arms slowly lifted, his hands running over her back lightly. It almost made her shiver.
She bit her lip, and he lifted his mouth to meet hers. Just as their lips touched they heard a sound coming from the door of the gym. Giggling. They broke apart quickly, and Em climbed off him with cheeks blazing, grabbing her track-top and bag. ‘I – I think I might go and do some weights’, she said. ‘Thanks for practicing with me’.
‘Is that what you call it?’ Ben Johnson was standing by the door with the new physiotherapist, a short Asian girl who didn’t look like she could lift a bag of rice let alone pummel the crap out of a football player on a massage table. Then again, appearances are deceiving. Emily made for the rowing machine, then changed her mind. Her heart was racing fast enough, thank you!

‘Lisa! That’s your name, isn’t it?’
Pinky turned and almost scowled. But she put a smile on her face just in time.
‘Yeah, it’s Lisa. Why?’
‘Well, me and Lindsay, we were watching you yesterday, and… we know you like Travis. So, to make up for how we’ve treated you in the past, we’ve decided to help you get him. We’ve got the inside track, of course’, Nicole added, slyly. ‘I can make Jason do whatever I want. So, if I asked him to ask Travis if he likes you…’
‘No thanks, not interested’. Said Pinky, bluntly. ‘I can get a guy by myself, thank you. And what makes you think I like him anyway? You don’t know anything about me’.
‘We know enough’, said Lindsay, a touch too sharply, and got a look from Nicole that would have been a kick in the shin if they’d been sitting down at a dinner table.
‘You see, Lisa, we think you’ve changed lately. I mean, you’re dressing a lot better’, (she rolled her eyes in Lindsay’s direction when she thought Lisa wasn’t looking) ‘and we think you deserve a bit of good luck after that horrible incident with the skirt’.
Pinky’s face reddened. ‘You know about that?’
‘Sweetie’, Nicole cooed, patronisingly, ‘Everybody knows about that. But don’t worry. It’s old news by now. Everyone’s talking about Heath and his girlfriend busting up. And Emily and Dale getting it on in the gym. Anyway, in a couple of days no one will remember your embarrassing little wardrobe malfunction. So, how about letting us help you?’
Pinky’s eyes narrowed. ‘What do you guys get out of it?’
‘The pleasure of helping a friend’.
‘No thanks. I’m not that stupid. You guys have never been my friends. Why start now?’
Nicole was losing her patience. ‘For God’s sake, girl! When a person like me can give you fashion advice and help push you in the right direction – well, you take it! And we know you want Trav, you practically need a bucket to mop up the drool whenever he’s around’.
‘I am not that obvious’, Pinky protested.
Lindsay nodded, sympathetically. ‘You are, actually’.
Pinky’s shoulders slumped. ‘So what do I do?’

Later on that night, Pinky was sitting in a hairdresser’s chair while her hair was being cut into a pixie style crop. As the hair was falling to the floor, Nicole and Lindsay were all but giving each other high-fives. It had been easier than they’d expected once she’d surrendered. They managed to talk her into getting a haircut because they told her Travis liked the tomboy look. They didn’t mention that her face shape was totally wrong for the cut. Neither did the stylist, who was a close personal friend of Nicole’s.
When she finished, she stood back and allowed Pinky to survey the damage.
‘Aaarrrggghhhh! I look like Barry Manilow!’ Pinky shrieked. ‘What have you guys talked me into? I hate it!’
She leapt out of the hairdresser’s chair and took off, tears streaming down her face. All she wanted to do was shave her head and wear a bandanna and tell people she had a terminal disease. And then go and hide off in the mountains somewhere. How could she let them talk her into this? She knew they had an ulterior motive. Nicole was a smug bitch and always had it in for her. Now she had her revenge. Pinky didn’t know how she was ever going to show her face at the Lexus Centre again.

Nicole grinned. Until she was given the bill. ‘A hundred bucks?! You’re supposed to be a friend!’ She screamed. ‘What kind of friend charges a hundred bucks for a shonky hair cut?!’
‘A friend who has a business to run’, was the answer. ‘Pay up’.

[bellastar]

lovin' it! seriously can't wait for the next episode! dying for it already! oh, and i have the perfect line for me to say when the time comes: "may i help you out of those pants?" pornotastic!

[melissa]

or, those pants are skin tight, how do you get into them?
and Taz says, 'You can start by buying me a drink!'
Not mine totally stolen from Austin Powers, lol

[melissa]

Episode 5

“Sisters are doin’ it for themselves”

While all the hubbub with Pinky was going on, Leelee had stationed herself at her desk at exactly a quarter to five, not taking any chances that Ryan was going to be early again. He wasn’t. He turned up at exactly five o’clock, clean-shaven (which kind of disappointed Leelee. She actually thought he looked hot with a three-day growth. But she didn’t say anything), wearing jeans and a midnight blue shirt. His hair was wet from the shower and she could smell a hint of Lynx Accelerate. Most guys drown themselves in the stuff but he’d known not to go overboard.
She smiled, and got up to meet him. ‘Told you I’d be here’, she said.
‘I’m glad you are’. He returned her smile, and she felt her knees go weak. Needing to steady herself, she grabbed the handle on the door of her office and pulled it shut. Nice save, Lee, she thought.
‘I like your shirt’, she told him. ‘You know, you could model for the fashion parade. You’d be really good’.
He blushed. ‘Nah, I’m no model’.
She met his eyes. ‘I beg to differ, actually’.
He opened his mouth as if to say something cheeky back at her, but nothing came out. She took a step forward. Like the first time they met, when she’d pulled the ferals off him, she felt a confidence she’d never had before, as if another side of her had completely taken over. Then, her old self had re-emerged and she’d been shy and awkward again. It wasn’t going to happen this time. Challenged by the competition, she wasn’t going to give up that easily. She put a hand on his shoulder, because she was short and he was easily a head taller, and reached up to kiss him. To her delight, he kissed back. This time she didn’t try to hide the fact that her knees had gone out from under her!
Marcy watched from the corner, her eyes narrow and her fists clenched. That cow. She’s got the job I want, now she gets Ryan? I’ll fix her! Her precious Ball is going to be a disaster of Biblical proportions! She’ll never work in this town again!
She felt the urge to laugh like a maniacal villain but decided it would give up her hiding place, so she thought better of it. Time to ruin a very big party.

‘It’s ruined! It’s ruined! Why did I ever trust those slags? I’m so stupid!’ Pinky wailed.
‘You know, it’s not that bad. Go to a decent hairdresser and get them to tidy it up a bit. You could look like Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors. Don’t let them win’, Jen told her.
Pinky stopped crying for a moment and stared into the mirror. ‘You think?’
‘Of course. We’ll look on the internet and find a pic we like, print it and take it to a proper hairdresser. The best revenge is success, you know’.
Pinky wiped her eyes. ‘Oh, Jen, you’re just the best mate, ever!’
‘Only a close second to you’.
‘Awww’.
‘Let’s get out of here and do this, before all this sentimental crap makes me barf’.
‘
Strauchnie was taking all his stuff out of his locker for the last time. He sighed and looked at the number 59 with a sad resignation. ‘We coulda been champions’, he said, aloud, ‘Strauchnie and good old number 59. Kids would have been wearing my number on their back like I’m Nathan Buckley. Not to be, though’, he shook his head, ‘Not to be’. As he zipped up his bag he noticed a black felt tip pen lying on the floor below Shannon Cox’s locker. He went over and picked it up. It was a laundry marker, the type you write your kid’s names on their school bags with. The type that doesn’t wash off. It was giving Strauchnie an idea. A very evil idea.
He skulked down the corridor toward Balmey’s office, trying his best not to make a sound, busy looking for security cameras along the way. Seeing none, the way was clear for some first class revenge. As quickly as he could, he wrote under Balmey’s name “Likes little boys. Has small dick”.
Chuckling, he got out of there as fast as his stocky legs would take him.

Emily had been avoiding Dale all day. But she couldn’t stop him from dropping around to her house. He got out of his car, looked straight up at her bedroom window and waved. She sighed. Waved back. Trudged downstairs to let him in. She had been feeling weird about their near kiss ever since it happened. They were such good friends. Would it ruin their friendship? Would it make things awkward, or better? She wasn’t sure if she was ready to find out. It was getting dark. He must have something important to say if he’s come around this late, she thought. He likes to be at home to watch the Simpsons. She opened the door. They both started talking at once, stopped, laughed, and gestured at each other to be the one to talk first.
‘Oh, we’re hopeless’, she said. ‘You go first’.
‘I’ve been thinking about what happened yesterday. Have you?’
Only every minute of the day, she wanted to say, but didn’t want to seem too desperate. ‘I guess so’.
‘Can I come in?’
‘Of course’. She stood aside and let him in. He stood over by the couch, unsure of himself. ‘Is your Mum here?’
‘Nah, she’s doing a late shift. I’m home alone’, she added, suggestively. He smiled, nervously. ‘Um, anyway… I was just thinking… if you ever want to practice your karate again…’
He didn’t finish his smart-arse remark before she crossed the room and planted one on him. A kiss, not a one-inch punch! She couldn’t believe how good his lips felt, after the weeks of anticipation, the tension whenever they were around each other. Wanting to kiss him so much for so long, now that it was happening, she didn’t think she could stop. His hands ran over her hair, her shoulders, timidly brushing her chest, making her want to grab one and show him where to put it! But she didn’t dare. Instead, she let her own hands wander. Before she knew it they were on the couch, Dale on top of her, his shirt on the lounge room floor. They forgot the front door had been left wide open. They were so busy they didn’t hear Emily’s mother’s car come up the driveway. Daisy had her bra undone and was sliding his hand under her shirt when…
‘So this is what you get up to when I work late?’

What will Emily’s mum (a black belt) do to Dale?
How will Marcy sabotage the Black and White Ball?
And will Jen ever get to talk to Heath Shaw?

Tune in for Episode 6 when you’ll hear Pinky tell Nicole to tell Jason to go get a decent haircut.


********