School Is In - vowel sounds

[Cam]

*whacks the ruler on the desk*

'listen up class, I know you are all collingwood supporters, but I will do my best to give you some education...

we are going to talk about the vowels, a e i o u., no, not bowels burnsy17 *sheesh*, all right all right, cmon..

a vowel on its own between two letters that are not vowels will make its short sound, ie not its name.

eg
c a t says cat, as in the thing the miaows and eats mice

m e t says met, as in a place where people got together.

b i t says bit, as in what the dog did to you when u tried to jump in the neighbors back yard

p o t says pot, as in stuff smoked by some posters on here

g u t says gut, as in the big things that are not sex organs hanging out by the keyboard in front of you right now

now, listen up fidge, when you add another vowel, especially an 'e', after the other non-vowel it changes the vowel sound to the letters name, so a says 'ay' and o says 'oh' and u says 'you'

eg
l a t e says late, which if you are this too often can get you killed by the missus

p e t e says pete, the name of a pirate, a great tennis player and a cricketer whose last name was taylor but was announced as Who

b i t e says bite, the name of a lovey kissing action that will mark your lovee pre-marriage and get your face marked during marriage

n o t e says note, the sound your ol v8 made, something you pass at high school and something your partner screams if you are either pissing them off or giving them pleasure

m u t e says mute, the best policy to adopt if your partner ever wants you to make a comment on their family, cooking, fashion sense, arse size or choice of friends

now there are exceptions to everything in english, but these are some general rules we follow...

*bell rings*

'ok out to recess, oh and can someone look after johnno 26, he looks lost...'

[The Prototype]

Teacher, TEACHER!

School sucks.

Thanks for listening

[Cuthbert Collingwood]

[Pa Marmo]

Someone go tel dave da man to get in here.

[Piethagoras' Theorem]

I feel so enlightened, thanks Cam

[David]

If I ever become prime minister I will administer the death penalty to serious misusers of the apostrophe, and those who say "hes" instead of "his"
This was Big Brother. That is all.

[skaman]

I'm not snitchin' or nuffin Cam.....but...but... I saw 3D wedgie Ray Fidge in the quadrangle as he jumped in and out of Tess and Proud Pies elastics.

P.S Dave the man is eating the clag again!!!!!

[Pa Marmo]

[Dale61]

Me, spell wrong! That's umpossible!

[Proud Pies]

[Magpie 24]

Ouch!! Not touching that one!

[Syd_Magpies_Girl]

[The Prototype]

What's that? My bowels are making sounds? Not possible.

[David]

Why are we even discussing PP's underwear

[The Prototype]

Because she brought it up