Letter of the Year!!!

[Proud Pies]

thanks Tess, that made my day!

[The Prototype]

Not many babies hijack cars and speed, he should be in the record books.

Nice find, Tess, very funny.

[Eunos]

Not for the faint hearted;
http://www.performanceprobe.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12773

And from the land of funny TV shows........
http://www.wimp.com/soreloser/

[Proud Pies]

ok, this is obviously from the wife of the first of Eunos's links....


This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I
have ever heard of... Bless this woman!!!

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of
easy, painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now....
The Wax!!

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix
dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought that would
ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should pull
the wax out of the medicine cabinet?"

So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of
those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the
strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them
apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off!
No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl,
but am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out.

*YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each
together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get
out the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end
(Oh, how this phrase haunts me!).

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight
and pull.

OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can
do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter
of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!!

With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the
kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right
side of the bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and
stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself....

RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD
!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m making noises that only dogs can hear ..

Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull
off half of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP...

Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breathe or speak - I
have forgotten how ..

Do I hear crashing drums?????

Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this
I want to see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy
pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in
the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it!

Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down,
foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that
should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my
fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . . .

Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I
need to do something, so I put my foot down.

DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.

Vagina? Sealed shut!

Butt?? Sealed shut!!!

I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to
do and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My
head may pop off."

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I
can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and
the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??

WRONG!!!!

I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that
used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses
glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the
bottom of the tub.

In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold
wax) So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my
friend, thinking surely she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "So my butt and
who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!

There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but
does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located.

"Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering - you know -
Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!

I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night jokes.

While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the
wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie
goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot
water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!!

By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike
and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me
and my hand reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH
MY GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens
out of my friend, but I really don't care!!

"IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my
friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to my grief and despair...

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . . . . .

[the pain]

hahahahah
funny as hell

[David]

Is that a real story? lol sounds just a bit too bad to be true.....
Eunos's links didn't work for me for some reason

[Eunos]

[David]

ok cool thanks Eunos