FuNnY.........

[Danzy Rocks!!!]

funny ... love 'em all
poor old bitchmond

Go Danny!

[junkboy75]

A man is walking down the street in Carlton when he hears a woman screaming and detects a faint smell of burning in the air. He runs down the street and around a corner and sees a huge group of people standing watching a blazing building. On the tenth floor of the building a woman, clutching a bundle to her chest, is leaning out of a window screaming for someone to save her baby.
The man steps forward and calls up to the woman, "Throw down your baby and I'll catch it!"
"No! No!" the woman shouts back. "You might miss or drop my baby and she'll be killed!"
"No I won't!" shouts the man. "I am Stephen Silvagni. I'm the full-back of the century for the Carlton Blues. I've hardly missed a match in ten years and in all that time I have never let the football fall out of my grasp." "What? Not once?" calls the woman. "No!" shouts back the man. "Not once. Every football player in Australia agrees that I am the best full-back there has ever been". And with that he adopts the classic close checking full-back stance - legs apart ready to spring off, body in a protective position to cut off a lead and with his arms stretched out ready to punch the ball from an opponent or take a strong pack mark.
"OK!" screams the woman. "I'll trust you. I've no choice! Here she comes!" So, with the flames roaring all around her, the woman throws the baby from the window. However, the edge of the baby's shawl catches on the woman's watch with the result that the child goes spinning off to one side, tumbling head over heels and with her little arms and legs flailing. The woman screams and the crowd gasps, all sure that the baby will perish because she will fall out of reach of the man. The man remains motionless as the child descends, spinning and tumbling further and further away from him as she comes. Then when the baby is only inches from hitting the ground the man dives a full 30 feet across the pavement, catches the baby in his outstretched right hand, pulls her in towards his chest and shields her body with his left hand and arm.
He hits the ground heavily on his right side and lies motionless on the pavement for a few seconds. Then, slowly, he raises himself to his feet and turns to face the crowd and everyone sees that the child is alive. The crowd is awe-struck. Then the crowd erupts with cheers and the woman, still in danger herself, nearly faints with relief. The man, still clutching the child to his chest in his right arm, waves to the crowd of onlookers to acknowledge their appreciation. Then, slowly and gracefully, he turns away from them, bounces the baby twice on the ground, and kicks her 50 metres down the road.

A lifelong Melbourne supporter died early January and his wife rang the club to ask whether, if he was cremated, his ashes could be scattered on the hallowed turf of the MCG. A spokesman for the club very kindly explained that they had many such requests and it really was not possible to fulfil all of them. But, as he had been a supporter for many years, the spokesman had a suggestion. His idea was that the club would arrange for him to be stuffed and, as his season ticket was still valid, he could be placed in his seat complete with scarf, beanie etc. and he could then be there for the rest of the season. The wife thought this was a very good idea so the club made all the arrangements and propped him up in his seat wearing his Demons scarf etc. At half time at the Collingwood game he got up and walked out!

How many Geelong. fans does it take to change a light bulb?
520,001. That's one to change it, 20,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the team of the century replica jumper! In fact, it could be argued 540,002, as someone will have to compare the light bulb to Gary Ablett.



"The Chad is great"

[junkboy75]

A Richmond supporter goes to his girlfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be his first time meeting the family and he is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The Tiger fan is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to his nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making his eyes water. Left with no other choice, he decides to relieve himself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before he even had a chance to be embarrassed, her girlfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the Tiger fan's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!"

The Tiger fan thought, "Sweet! The dog’s getting the blame" and a big smile came across his face. A couple of minutes later, he was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, he didn't even hesitate. He let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"

Once again the Tiger fan smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later he had to let another one rip. This time he didn't even think about it. He let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from him before he craps all over you!"


"everyone's a winner hot pies"

[magpie joffa]

hahahhaahhaah this is funny shit i love it..keep those richmomd jokes comming i hate the pricks!!

WE MARCH WITH PRIDE,WE MARCH WITH LOVE,WHEN IT COMES TO OUR COLLINGWOOD WE FOREVER MARCH ! we will never forget our great number #42...GO YOU BLOODY PIES yeaaah LETS KICK ASS.lets kill the bloody bastards !!
http://www.mp3.com/joffa

[junkboy75]

your wish is my command

Q: What do you call a Richmond fan with lots of girlfriends?
A: A Shepherd

Q: How do you circumcise a Tiger fan?
A: Punch his sister under the chin.

Matthew Knights was to meet his new girlfriend outside the Cinema at 7pm, at 9pm she had still not arrived, so he went home furious. He phoned her up and said,
"what the hell's going on? I waited for Two hours in the cold."
She said, "I am not going out with you now, we are finished".
"Why?" He asked.
She replied "One of my friends said you are a Paedophile."
"A Paedophile?" cried Knights, "that's a big word for a Seven year old!!"

Q: How many Richmond fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

A man walks into a pub in Richmond and orders a dry white wine. Everyone in the pub suddenly stops talking and looks at the stranger.
"You are not from around here, are you" says the barman.
"No, actually I am from Sydney" replies the stranger.
"And what do you in Sydney" enquired the Barman.
"Well actually, I am a taxidermist"
"And what may I ask is a taxidermist"
"I stuff and mount dead animals"
At that the barman turns to the crowded bar and announces "It's all right lads, he's one of us"

A Collingwood fan, an Essendon fan and a Richmond fan are walking through the countryside when they see a sheep stuck in a gate.
Collingwood fan: God, I wish it was Cameron Diaz.
Essendon fan: No, I wish it was Naomi Campbell.
Richmond fan: I wish it was f**king dark!

Q: What's the similarity between a Richmond fan and whiskey?
A: They both come in tots (LOL, think about it...JB75)



"everyone's a winner hot pies"