Shock Test Debut

[BJ]

Chukka-DaBall- Colombo

AAP- 3 March 2004: An SOS was sent out today from Cricket Australia officials requesting the services of unknown All-Rounder Donny Croft.
Croft, a wily seamer and handy lower order batsman was stunned and delighted at the call-up. “Yeah-Nah mate, it’s pretty unexpected, but I knew if I kept plugging along, one day my chance would come.”
Former Australian Test captain and selector Alan Border was full of praise for the veteran of over 300 one day and two day games. “It’s been a long time coming” said Border, “Donny’s been in our sights for some time now, ever since he took those two hat-tricks for Toonumbar.”
Although Croft didn’t have a hand in the Toonumbar record score of 385 in 40 overs, which is well acclaimed in local historian record books, he is an adaptable all-rounder.
“Yeah –Nah mate, I actually umpired during that record-breaking score”, said an unassuming Croft.

“His adaptability and knowledge of umpiring is a key factor in his selection”, said Border. “He’ll help take Symo and Gilly to a new level in player-umpire relations”.

No doubt the eyes of a nation will be on Croft, maybe the next Great White Hope as he takes to field in the Baggy Green in the First Test against Sri Lanka.

[Canberra]

There is a rumour going around that Donny has a couple of mystery balls he has been playing with. As an ex Victorian I wish to register my protest at another unknown New South Welshman getting his baggy green in the old brown paper bag.

[London Dave]

As JLC would say, all he had to do was move to NSW to get the call up.

does this mean I'll get a gig for the poms in the Windies...I could do with a bit of sunshine at the moment, bloody freezing here!

and you figure with a name like Croft, he'd have to be a seamer not a tweaker, Croft's haven't turned a ball since Captain Cook hit NSW!

[Donny]

Not quite right, fellas.

I refused to play for NSW all these years as I'm a proud Victorian. I kept telling them it's just a technicality that I live up here.

A.B. and I have developed quite a rapport over the years as he's tried to get me to move a bit further north to play for The Bulls and I've been trying to get him to play for my team, Toonumbar.

Looks like he's pulled a few strings to get me into the team but I'm going to have to knock it back. Thanks, old mate but no thanks. The start of the footy season is coming up and I'm needed here.

Besides, it's too hard to sledge those blokes. You're only half way through saying, "Hey, Karuppaduppawardenapushpakadillybagchuckawobbly, why don't you use a grown up's bat?" and the bowler's about to deliver.

[The Prototype]

That's why no one ever is accused of sledging their players

But that doesn't mean their players don't sledge in their own language, I demand they be made speak ENGLISH!