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watt price tully 
Joined: 15 May 2007
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| Post subject: Re: For those watching the Prelim at home....... |  |
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| stui magpie wrote: | Some tips for how to replicate the atmosphere at the G.
Firstly, you need to have someone else there to help out. There's specific tasks they need to do.
During the pre game, they need to play shit music and loud irrelevant speaking bits so you can't hear the TV.
You need to make sure the heater is turned off and the ceiling fan turned on, so it's cold and breezy.
If you plan to have hot food during the game, you need to make sure it's the most over priced rubbish you can get and that as soon as you want to go and get some, your +1 ensures they stand in front of you and frig around for 10 minutes making you wait.
Same protocol applies when you want a beer
If you want a smoke, you need to wait til breaks then leave the house, walk 3/4 the way around the block, inhale it quickly then head back. Your +1 must stop you at the front door for a body search before you're allowed back in, and then run to the bar/food to block you for the afore mentioned 10 minutes
During the game your +1 must cheer and yell abuse, usually at incorrect moments, ask you incessant questions about what just happened, how long is left etc and frequently get up and walk in front of you, blocking your view and making you move your legs or stand up.
If you want to take a piss, the toilets all need to be time locked so you have to wait 10 minutes after first trying the door to get in
Finally, after the game you need to walk around the block, then stand in the shower (not turned on) with a large block of blue cheese and your +1 constantly jostling you, for 30 minutes, then walk around the block again before you can turn the heater on and watch the replay.
Did I miss anything? |
Brilliant 
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“I even went as far as becoming a Southern Baptist until I realised they didn’t keep ‘em under long enough” Kinky Friedman |
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Clifton Hill-Billy
Joined: 29 Sep 2011
Location: 3068----> 3076
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Get the fridge stocked with Carlton Mid strength, wait 30 minutes before each one and most importantly pour it into a plastic cup and add a splash of water before you drink it!
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"Hey Ma get off the dang roof!" |
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Albert Parker
Joined: 13 Dec 2012
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Nice Stui
There needs to be apple cider spilt on the floor to make a sticky mess under your chair
+1 to the annoying person standing in front of you. I had an argument with an overexcited Pies girl last week who kept standing up for prolonged periods in the last half. After three gentle taps and request to sit down, I escalated my request on behalf of myself and the row behind me who were complaining. Poor nuffy suggested that we go and sit elsewhere. Fair to say that suggestion was not going to fly!
I am fortunate that I live close enough to the ground in South Melbourne. I could have a window open and have live crowd sounds. I put the TV on mute last week during the Melb/Hawks game and could hear the cheers. It was pretty cool.
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One team, one dream - the Pies and this year's premiership |
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Damien 
Me Noah & Flynn @ the G
Joined: 21 Jan 1999
Location: Croydon Vic
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| Fatui Attata wrote: | Take a leak in the kitchen sink.
Have 3 subcontinental chaps crouch at the foot of your tv for the last 5 mins and then when the siren goes, they stand facing you, blocking the tv.
Bang on a tv tray as an opposition player has a set shot.
Just chuck any rubbish on the floor
Mute the tv and play a really old BBC Crowd Noises double album (one side for each quarter)
Go outside after the game and struggle finding your car in the driveway.
Have a yuppie couple (neighbours?) come and sit in front of you and not watch the entire game.
Sit in another smaller room with an iPad and imagine you're at Margaret Court Arena at the $10 game simulator.
Put your tv at the back fence and sit in a fold up chair on your roof for your very own backyard level 4 experience.
Have a family member sit in a corner facing you, flashing a torch at the end of each after goal ad |
GOLD!
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'Collingwood are the Bradmans of Football'
The Herald - 1930 |
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Damien
Me Noah & Flynn @ the G
Joined: 21 Jan 1999
Location: Croydon Vic
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| Clifton Hill-Billy wrote: | | Get the fridge stocked with Carlton Mid strength, wait 30 minutes before each one and most importantly pour it into a plastic cup and add a splash of water before you drink it! |
And tip half of it out before you sit down to drink it
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'Collingwood are the Bradmans of Football'
The Herald - 1930 |
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Albert Parker
Joined: 13 Dec 2012
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^^Nice Fatui
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One team, one dream - the Pies and this year's premiership |
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stui magpie 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
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| Fatui Attata wrote: | Take a leak in the kitchen sink.
Have 3 subcontinental chaps crouch at the foot of your tv for the last 5 mins and then when the siren goes, they stand facing you, blocking the tv.
Bang on a tv tray as an opposition player has a set shot.
Just chuck any rubbish on the floor
Mute the tv and play a really old BBC Crowd Noises double album (one side for each quarter)
Go outside after the game and struggle finding your car in the driveway.
Have a yuppie couple (neighbours?) come and sit in front of you and not watch the entire game.
Sit in another smaller room with an iPad and imagine you're at Margaret Court Arena at the $10 game simulator.
Put your tv at the back fence and sit in a fold up chair on your roof for your very own backyard level 4 experience.
Have a family member sit in a corner facing you, flashing a torch at the end of each after goal ad |
Very good.
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Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
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Fatui Attata
Joined: 29 Sep 2009
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| stui magpie wrote: | | Fatui Attata wrote: | Take a leak in the kitchen sink.
Have 3 subcontinental chaps crouch at the foot of your tv for the last 5 mins and then when the siren goes, they stand facing you, blocking the tv.
Bang on a tv tray as an opposition player has a set shot.
Just chuck any rubbish on the floor
Mute the tv and play a really old BBC Crowd Noises double album (one side for each quarter)
Go outside after the game and struggle finding your car in the driveway.
Have a yuppie couple (neighbours?) come and sit in front of you and not watch the entire game.
Sit in another smaller room with an iPad and imagine you're at Margaret Court Arena at the $10 game simulator.
Put your tv at the back fence and sit in a fold up chair on your roof for your very own backyard level 4 experience.
Have a family member sit in a corner facing you, flashing a torch at the end of each after goal ad |
Very good. |
You started it great man! Very inspirational post Stui. Always get value outta your writing mate!
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I'm not the pheasant plucker I'm the pheasant plucker's son, and I'll be plucking pheasants til the pheasant plucker comes! "Try saying that with a mouthful of peanuts!!" Lou Richards |
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David 
I dare you to try
Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda
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This thread is going straight to the MCC pool room (just make sure you're wearing a polo shirt!).
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All watched over by machines of loving grace |
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Piesnchess
piesnchess
Joined: 09 Jun 2008
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LMFAO, ha ha, great post Stui. !!! Im doing two things, buying a bottle of Jim Beam tomorrow, plus fisn n chips for dinner, always we have take away on Friday nights, a ritual. Oh, and im going to mute those so called footy commentators, once the game starts. I cannot stand the crap Ling and co go on with, BTs bellowing, or Mcaveneys love in with the tigers, just mute the bastards and watch in peace. !!
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Poverty exists not because we cannot feed the poor, but because we cannot satisfy the rich.
Chess and Vodka are born brothers. - Russian proverb. |
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think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
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| melliot wrote: | | Have the dogs/cats dress up in fluro green. As they leave the living room at half time give a gob full of abuse, boo with passion, point and shake your fist, tell them their blind, and shouldn't come back. |
harsh on the pets, use the kids or grandies!!
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You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
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Dave The Man
Joined: 01 Apr 2005
Location: Someville, Victoria, Australia
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| Albert Parker wrote: | Nice Stui
There needs to be apple cider spilt on the floor to make a sticky mess under your chair
+1 to the annoying person standing in front of you. I had an argument with an overexcited Pies girl last week who kept standing up for prolonged periods in the last half. After three gentle taps and request to sit down, I escalated my request on behalf of myself and the row behind me who were complaining. Poor nuffy suggested that we go and sit elsewhere. Fair to say that suggestion was not going to fly!
I am fortunate that I live close enough to the ground in South Melbourne. I could have a window open and have live crowd sounds. I put the TV on mute last week during the Melb/Hawks game and could hear the cheers. It was pretty cool. |
Did you call the Security on her then?
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I am Da Man |
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Tannin 
Can't remember
Joined: 06 Aug 2006
Location: Huon Valley Tasmania
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| Albert Parker wrote: | | +1 to the annoying person standing in front of you. I had an argument with an overexcited Pies girl last week who kept standing up for prolonged periods in the last half. After three gentle taps and request to sit down, I escalated my request on behalf of myself and the row behind me who were complaining. Poor nuffy suggested that we go and sit elsewhere. Fair to say that suggestion was not going to fly! |
Cheers Albert. I see that you have met my sister-in-law already.
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�Let's eat Grandma.� Commas save lives! |
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Stinger
Joined: 01 Dec 2003
Location: Canberra
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| Get your 7 year old nephew to wave a Richmond flag in your face after each Tigers goal. All 8 of them. |
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piedys 
Heeeeeeere's Dyso!!!
Joined: 04 Sep 2003
Location: Resident Forum Psychopath since 2003
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Ah, you guys....!
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M I L L A N E 4 2 forever |
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