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What made me laugh today...

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2018 10:06 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

^

Better than getting a record, didn't exactly feel vindicated though.

To put this thread slightly back on topic, I recall an exchange between one of my witnesses and the police prosecutor. I so wanted to but in, but I wasn't allowed so all I could do was try not to laugh out loud.

It was an Abbot and costello "who's on first" style exchange about beer glasses. A Pot is a 10 ounce glass, a "glass" is a 7 ounce glass. I knew that, the cop knew that, my mate didn't.

It culminated in a back and forth debate about how much I had drank prior to the incident with my mate referring to pot glasses and the cop querying pots or glass and getting "yes" as a response. They were both frustrated and I was trying not to piss myself laughing while the magistrate was grinning at me.

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 4:18 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

Saw what I thought was a humorous meme on facebook.

Most adults in the world still associate the # symbol with either a number or the word "pound", which makes it a little worrying that a movement against sexual harrassment was given the title #meToo.

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partypie 



Joined: 01 Oct 2010


PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2018 12:14 am
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The royal wedding reminded me that my father told me he had to write an essay on the marriage of princess Elizabeth to prince Phillip to pass matriculation English in the early 1950s.
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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 5:19 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

Parents take their son to court to get him to move out of home.

https://nypost.com/2018/05/22/parents-sue-deadbeat-son-to-get-out-of-their-house/


Laughing

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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2018 10:11 am
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I just handed my room key to a Mike Tyson lookalike to pay for a bottle of Jim Beam!
hadnt had a drink yet!
Oops!

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 6:08 pm
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https://twitter.com/i/status/1010189882503950336

A little video from the BBC called You Woke? Group therapy for overly virtuous 20 somethings.

Seriously funny I thought.

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Mugwump 



Joined: 28 Jul 2007
Location: Between London and Melbourne

PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 7:34 pm
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^ LOL. Excellent.
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watt price tully Scorpio



Joined: 15 May 2007


PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 8:07 pm
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stui magpie wrote:
Saw what I thought was a humorous meme on facebook.

Most adults in the world still associate the # symbol with either a number or the word "pound", which makes it a little worrying that a movement against sexual harrassment was given the title #meToo.


In nursing & medicine # means fracture.

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 8:29 pm
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^

That's not an improvement. Razz Wink

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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:54 pm
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stui magpie wrote:
^

That's not an improvement. Razz Wink


its actually worse i think!!

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2018 6:00 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

So wandering around Darwin waterfront, checking out some of the bikini clad fauna around the swimming area while sussing out places to eat.

Heading back to the lift to the skywalk, see this girl walking toward me, boyfriend in tow, who must have stolen her skinny friends clothes. My first impression was how on gods earth did she get those size 8 pants onto her size 12 body? They must have been constricting all blood flow from her waist to her ankles.

Then as she got closer, i noticed her t shirt was just as tight and she was clearly not wearing a bra on those DD cannons. She could've dialed a telephone from across the room with those things.

Then i noticed what was written on the t shirt. "Do my nipples offend you?"

I near cracked up but held it mostly together til they passed.

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Mugwump 



Joined: 28 Jul 2007
Location: Between London and Melbourne

PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2018 6:44 pm
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stui magpie wrote:
those DD cannons. She could've dialed a telephone from across the room with those things.


.....Yes, but could she have hung the receiver on you, at that point ?

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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:10 pm
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kapow! nice reply!
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Jezza Taurus

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Joined: 06 Sep 2010
Location: Ponsford End

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 6:20 pm
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Trump Derangement Syndrome from The Guardian Laughing

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/05/i-stopped-going-to-the-gym-because-of-trump-now-i-cant-open-jars

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HAL 

Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.


Joined: 17 Mar 2003


PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 6:21 pm
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Oh, you are a poet.
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