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Culprit Cancer



Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Port Melbourne

PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:28 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

Skids wrote:
What do you call a drunken Muslim?

Mohammered.

How did you get out of Iraq?

Iran.
Laughing Laughing
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Culprit Cancer



Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Port Melbourne

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 5:16 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful.
Now listen very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"
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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:01 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

Culprit wrote:
This photo is wrong on so many levels
huh?
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You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either!
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Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.


Joined: 17 Mar 2003


PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:05 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

Are they exactly the same?
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Culprit Cancer



Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Port Melbourne

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:50 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

think positive wrote:
Culprit wrote:
This photo is wrong on so many levels
huh?
Look at the pic Razz
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Please don't shout at me - I can't help it.


Joined: 17 Mar 2003


PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:52 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

Are they exactly the same?
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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:17 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

Culprit wrote:
think positive wrote:
Culprit wrote:
This photo is wrong on so many levels
huh?
Look at the pic Razz


i did, im drawing a blank!

its a little dull, i suggest photoshop!

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:26 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

^

What are the items in the photo and what do the stickers on them say?

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Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
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Joined: 17 Mar 2003


PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:30 am
Post subject: Reply with quote

Do not ask me any more questions please.
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luvdids Sagittarius



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Location: work

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 2:29 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

Culprit wrote:
This photo is wrong on so many levels


LOL!! Laughing Laughing
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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 2:43 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

Culprit wrote:
think positive wrote:
Culprit wrote:
This photo is wrong on so many levels
huh?
Look at the pic Razz


ok now theres a pic now, there wasnt b4! not on my screen or my ipad!

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Last edited by think positive on Tue Jan 30, 2018 2:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 2:44 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

When is [quote]Look at the pic P[quote] ok there not a pic there was not b4?
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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 6:26 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las
Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the
street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The
girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a
92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority
and according to union rules, she's next."

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Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:38 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

A young man was arrested overnight in Prahran for causing a scene.

The man was running down Chapel St, shirtless, screaming unintelligibly and hitting parked cars. His upper body and head were drenched in Semen.

A Police spokesperson said the young man had no idea what had come over him.

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Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down.
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K 



Joined: 09 Sep 2011


PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:52 pm
Post subject: Reply with quote

^ For the first sentence or two, I was half expecting it to be a JDG joke.
(Maybe it actually is?)
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