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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:23 am
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Love it!
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Culprit Cancer



Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Port Melbourne

PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 9:52 am
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In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for $1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for $1.60 and an apple pie for $2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you $2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is $1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for $1.95.
In Trinidad ,Barbados ,Tobago, and Dominica that steak and kidney pie comes in at $2.50, but you can two for $3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is $2.25, or two for $3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for $2, or two for $3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for $2.75, or two (any combination) for $4.75.

Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.
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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 7:05 pm
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Groan.
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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 8:28 pm
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stui magpie wrote:
Groan.

Not spicy enough for you!

Better than the cold Pies served up yesterday at the MCG!

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 8:31 pm
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You should never have picked the dog. Razz Wink
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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 9:00 pm
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stui magpie wrote:
You should never have picked the dog. Razz Wink


Hehehe I'm still trying to get the fart smell out of my clothes!
Or was that the goat?

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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 9:04 pm
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Both. The dogs farts after eating the goat. Razz
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think positive Libra

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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 11:37 pm
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Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe.
Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."
Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . you've got to send me back straight away."
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We
can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
"Never!" replies Dave.
Well just relax and let it happen"
So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...
"Dave, wake up you drunken bastard, you've shit the bed."

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5150 Sagittarius



Joined: 31 Aug 2005


PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 11:24 pm
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3 guys walk into a bar.
You would have thought one of them would have saw it.
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Culprit Cancer



Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Port Melbourne

PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 6:48 am
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Q. Why do Swedish war-ships have bar codes on the sides?

A. So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 7:16 am
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Hehe,
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stui magpie Gemini

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.


Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto

PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2017 11:19 pm
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Q. What do you get when you eat peanut butter and baked beans?

A. A fart that sticks to the roof of your arse.

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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:56 am
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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed,

Observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off

He asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied,

Still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops,

And then took her to Alton Towers theme park.

What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park;

The Death Slide, the Corkscrew,

The Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there Was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a Mc Donald's

Where he ordered her a Happy Meal

With extra fries and a chocolate shake..

Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn,

A huge Cola, and her favourite sweets......M&M's..

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband

And collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile

And lovingly asked,

'Well Dear, what was it like being twelve again?'

Her eyes slowly opened

And her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it frickin' Wrong.

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Culprit Cancer



Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Port Melbourne

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 10:57 am
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That's the truth TP. My Mrs asked me what was on TV, apparently "dust" wasn't the right answer.
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think positive Libra

Side By Side


Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 12:10 pm
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Culprit wrote:
That's the truth TP. My Mrs asked me what was on TV, apparently "dust" wasn't the right answer.


hehehehehe i hope you got a backhander for that one!!!!

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