| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
think positive 
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
|
| Post subject: |  |
|
| stui magpie wrote: | Just heard a great line.
An election is like a Police lineup.
The difference is at the election you're picking them before they rob you and take your money.  |
aint that the truth!!
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
|
|
|
 |
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| leonmagic wrote: | this conversation i had at lunch.
girlfriend: "i just had a client who is from the netherlands. is that where santa is from?"
me: "what? no, he's from the north pole."
girlfriend: "ohhh yeah yeah. i was thinking of peter pan."
she worries me. |
That's a worry!
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
|
|
|
|
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
|
|
|
|
|
David
I dare you to try
Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda
|
| Post subject: | |
|
I love the labels attached: "sexy schoolboy costume" for what is, essentially, a tartan penis sheath. I'm not sure that school would stay open for very long.
_________________
All watched over by machines of loving grace |
|
|
|
|
stui magpie 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
If this is true.............
If not I still find it hilarious.
| Quote: | Guys this is the true crime story of the decade:
Yesterday a friend told me what might well be the best story I’ve ever heard. She had caught the train in from Frankston. And while she was waiting for the train to come, she noticed a man sitting down on the platform with a bag of fish and chips. But he wasn’t really eating them. He was just sort of letting them air.
This attracted a few seagulls, who began to circle the platform. Instead of shooing the birds away, the man offered them a few chips. He’d toss one a foot or so away from him. It was like he was beckoning them to come closer. He kept doing this, eking the chips out slowly, until there was a big group of seagulls in front of him, 15 or 20. A tiny army. He’d throw them a chip every now and then – just enough to keep the birds interested, but not enough to sate them. It was frustrating. They were getting angry. Squawking. It was like he was rearing them up for… something.
Then the train came, and everyone got on. But the man stayed on the ground with his chips. Just when the train was about to leave. It happened.
Right before the doors closed, the man threw the entire bag of the fish and chips into the train. The entire flock of seagulls followed the bag. And the doors closed. Inside the train: pandemonium.
The next train stop was five minutes away.
|
http://www.triplem.com.au/melbourne/stuff/pub-talk/2016/2/bloke-shares-incredible-story-about-seagulls-and-the-frankston-line/
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| stui magpie wrote: | If this is true.............
If not I still find it hilarious.
| Quote: | Guys this is the true crime story of the decade:
Yesterday a friend told me what might well be the best story I’ve ever heard. She had caught the train in from Frankston. And while she was waiting for the train to come, she noticed a man sitting down on the platform with a bag of fish and chips. But he wasn’t really eating them. He was just sort of letting them air.
This attracted a few seagulls, who began to circle the platform. Instead of shooing the birds away, the man offered them a few chips. He’d toss one a foot or so away from him. It was like he was beckoning them to come closer. He kept doing this, eking the chips out slowly, until there was a big group of seagulls in front of him, 15 or 20. A tiny army. He’d throw them a chip every now and then – just enough to keep the birds interested, but not enough to sate them. It was frustrating. They were getting angry. Squawking. It was like he was rearing them up for… something.
Then the train came, and everyone got on. But the man stayed on the ground with his chips. Just when the train was about to leave. It happened.
Right before the doors closed, the man threw the entire bag of the fish and chips into the train. The entire flock of seagulls followed the bag. And the doors closed. Inside the train: pandemonium.
The next train stop was five minutes away.
|
http://www.triplem.com.au/melbourne/stuff/pub-talk/2016/2/bloke-shares-incredible-story-about-seagulls-and-the-frankston-line/
|
As long as no gulls were hurt that's a crack up! Imagine the poos
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
|
|
|
|
David
I dare you to try
Joined: 27 Jul 2003
Location: Andromeda
|
| Post subject: | |
|
It's a great story, but what's with all the supposedly serious newspapers printing it as fact without verification? The headlines generally give no indication that it's just some story some guy probably made up on Facebook. They fall for this kind of stuff way too easily.
_________________
All watched over by machines of loving grace |
|
|
|
|
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
|
|
|
|
|
Wokko 
Come and take it.
Joined: 04 Oct 2005
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| Not biting. |
|
|
|
|
Morrigu 
Joined: 11 Aug 2001
|
| Post subject: | |
|
Hmmm holidays - lets go to Tonga - oh look a Zika virus outbreak
And on the way there we will stop in NZ - oh look a 5.7 mag earthquake
Think we will just go back to Africa - buggar the cost - it seems safer  
_________________
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.†|
|
|
|
|
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
|
| Post subject: | |
|
| Morrigu wrote: | Hmmm holidays - lets go to Tonga - oh look a Zika virus outbreak
And on the way there we will stop in NZ - oh look a 5.7 mag earthquake
Think we will just go back to Africa - buggar the cost - it seems safer |
Hahahaahah,
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
|
|
|
|
pietillidie
Joined: 07 Jan 2005
|
|
|
|
|
luvdids 
Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Location: work
|
| Post subject: | |
|
Well, didn't make me laugh, but did smile when I read this:
Dear people who type in all lowercase,
We are the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
Sincerely,
Capital Letters
|
|
|
|
|
stui magpie
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Joined: 03 May 2005
Location: In flagrante delicto
|
| Post subject: | |
|
If uncle jack is a breeder you could be helping uncle jack jack off a horse. 
_________________
Every dead body on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm the **** down. |
|
|
|
|
think positive
Side By Side
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: somewhere
|
| Post subject: | |
|
The things people say!
Last week my bitchy sister telling me something my nice sister apparently said about me, not so nice! Even if true, why tell me?
Tonight at a friends surprise 50th, I'm talking to a good friend. Her partners ex wife who I also unfortunately know (no David she and the ex were never friends he's one of hubby's best mates) comes over and says hello to us and says to me "so what's with the boobie dress, letting the girls loose, shouldn't you leave that to the young things?" (Ok the dress shows some cleavage, but it's pretty tame) I was dumb struck for a second, I could see the others who heard it waiting for me to explode! I gave her a big smile and said "if you've got it flaunt it!" And raised my glass in her direction, then turned away and ignored her! $£$%^%%$ fat bitch! Why would someone say that!
_________________
You cant fix stupid, turns out you cant quarantine it either! |
|
|
|
|
|
The Rules
FAQ
Usergroups
Calendar
Search
Log in
Register
